Tazman53

I had a really weird thing occur at one of the small groups I go to on Monday nights in Nov. a guy picked up a 33 year chip!!! I thought to my self, "Wow I will probably never see that again!", well the following week a lady picked up a 33 year chip!! There is another lady who has over 31 years who attends this same meeting.

The question is what is the longest length of sobriety you personally know of? 33 is mine and I know 2 of them.

Astro

I was at an alcothon last Christmas and saw a gentleman pick up a 50 year chip. Wow! We have a member at our Club with 35 years. But what I sometimes remind myself is that length of sobriety doesn't mean much. The years can be impressive, but if someone doesn't work a good program I probably don't want what they have. Most of the people I relate to most have less than 10 years, and I see them at meetings every day. Stick with the winners, right?

Kellye C

We have 3 members who have been sober since the mid to late sixties and our oldest member has been sober since 58. Out of those 4 only 2 have anything I would want in the way of sobriety, the other two seem more dry than anything else.

Quality over quantity any day.

Cathy31

i think i've seen 40 years. awesome and serene person. really inspiring - as are all of my brothers and sisters in recovery! amazing miracles we ALL are!
Cathy31
x

fraankie

Brooklyn group
(AA's second oldest group)
Tom K.
celebrated 50 years
4/06

i couldn't believe it
i met Tom when i first came in
i asked him his time
he said 38 years
it blew me away
and
i kept going because the group had a bunch of old timers
so
as they say
"stick with the winners"

can't tell you how many times
i wanted a drink
i used to say
"well, tom is around for 38, 39, 42, etc years
i can stick it out one more day"

best
fraankie

Sugah

I know a man with 54, ladies with 48 & 47, and several with mid-30's. Our oldest group turns 60 or 61 this year and another just turned 57.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

findingout

One of my sponsors hit 31 years a couple of months ago, which I think is pretty fantastic. On the other hand, if all goes well I'll be 71 years old when I get to 31 years clean, so I'm not really in that much of a hurry to get that 31 year chip just yet.

PaperDolls

My father has been sober since 1970 I believe -- so that would make it 36 years.

GlassPrisoner

One of the regulars at my "2nd home" meeting has 36 years.

I frequent another meeting where a guy that was in WWII has 54 years.

chip

I know a guy with 30 years. He said he has the same length of sobriety as everyone else in the meeting...just one day. He says he's just been sober since he got up in the morning, and that's all that counts.

I hope I get the peace and serenity this old fellow has.

One day at a time!
chip

miss communicat

Chip,

Thanks for sharing that.

For a few years now, I have declined to measure my "progress" for others who ask me the length of my sobriety. I just don't answer that question. I always simply say, "I have today and that's all I'm counting on".

I have found, like others also, that length of sobriety is not a measure of serenity, and yet, people tend to place expectations and prejudgements on others based on the number of days and years they have been sober/abstinent.

Sugah

I have this debate, I guess you could call it, with a very good friend of mine who feels just as you do, misscommunicat...and I agree with you (and him) up to a point. I agree that length of sobriety is no litmus test for serenity -- and I have seen folks with thirty days have a whole lot more that I'd like for myself than some folks with thirty years. I do, however, think that the value of stacking some twenty-four hours one on top of the other is the progress possible with continuous sobriety. Doesn't mean everyone takes advantage of it, and it doesn't mean that we won't start sliding backwards (I've recently had what I consider a "mental relapse" -- all that was missing for a time was the drink). Except in the rare cases of suden earth-shaking spiritual experiences, which the Big Book tells us are often the exception rather than the rule, it's not often possible to reap the benefits that come from practicing these principles in all our affairs without the actual practice. I'm thinking of a specific woman in my homegroup, due to celebrate 25 years, who literally glows when she walks into the room. She'll tell you how long she struggled -- her first five years were spent chemically sober but still self-willed -- but two decades of surrender follow her like star dust. She doesn't even know it! She'll also tell you she has a long way to go, but man, if I was inclined toward fanciful thought, I'd switch psyches with her just to see what it felt like.

Back to trimming the tree....y'all have a peaceful, serene day!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

jimhere

Anyone else ever sit in AA and wonder what the hell they mean when they say "don't be judgemental, but stick with the winners?"

I go to a meeting once in a while where there is a lot of long-term sobriety (in terms of years), but very few who are recovered. Most of the time the meeting is nothing more than a mutual admiration society or a big back-patting festival. They never call on me because I talk about AA and bother the old-timers more than the newcomers.

You can stay sick in AA and have plenty of company. Or you can get well in AA. You won't have as much company, but it will be better company. Just gotta pick who you want to hang with.

Baritone

Observing how people act and deciding whether or not i want what they have, and basing my actions on my own discernment, is my business. Making a list of what's wrong with them, or determining how they should be acting, is what i consider judgemental and outside of my business.

- the other Jim

jimhere

I'm only judgemental when I'm considering putting my life in some one's hands. Then I look at their life and actions and base my decision on that.

Periodically I will go to someone and ask them to take me through the steps. I'm fifteen, almost sixteen years sober, and earlier this year approached a man with nine years because I like the way he carried himself. There are many with twenty, thirty, and more years that I can't say that about.

Of course, I couldn't say that about myself some days.

GlassPrisoner

Jim and Jim (He He) good points.

I'm good friends with a "newcomer". Actually, the guy had 8 or 9 years but went back out. However, his demeanor, attitude and knowledge are all something I admire.

Conversely, I know old timers who basically shun the program (steps) and their personalities and attitudes reflect this.

jimhere

At this same meeting I mentioned in a previous post, they also use up a good portion of the meeting letting the thirty-sixty-ninety wonders enlighten us.

Between that and the old-timers' mutual admiration, not much message gets carried. I really don't need to hear a newcomer remind me how it bad it is "out there" or fill us in their plan for "this time" and enlighten me with treatment center curriculum. Or to listen to the old-timers' comedy central. Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The word frothy means shallow and unsubstantial.

My role in this is that I have repeatedly went back to that meeting expecting it to be different. I believe that is insanity isn't it? So, after today I've resolved not to go back. My time could be better spent.

GlassPrisoner

Jimhere, I try not to be a 60 day wonder. I've shared once, because my sponsor elbowed me and whispered "share !". He explained what you pointed out. That we all know what it's like when we're drinking (out there) and don't need another drunkalog with no resolution. It's hard because of my enthusiasm towards the program, and I really am already seeing results (Amazed before halfway !)

Anyway, when I'm to the point where I can share where I was, what happened, and where I am now (with positive examples) in a general way, I will.

Too bad about that meeting. Don't quit going to all meetings. Please , find another meeting. That's what I do.

Time2Surrender

We had a guy named Frank who passed away last year with 53 yrs sober.

jimhere

Hey GlassPrisoner,
Don't worry, I won't quit going to meetings, although given my druthers these days I'd rather work one on one with someone here in my home than attend most of the meetings in this area. That or go to the jitter joint and work with the guys there.