Length of Sobriety????
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
I agree with the concept of keeping yourself in the present and not obsessing about the past which cannot be changed and stressing about the future which cannot be changed. However, I don't really like when someone says they're sober "just for today". There's a guy in my meetings who say's he didn't drink this morning, and all I can think is that he could drink all afternoon and evening and still be able to say at the noon meeting that he didn't drink today. My alcoholic mind plays with these thoughts and I come to the conclusion that I don't need to work so freakin hard to stay sober just to say I've got 6 measly months if I can drink today and say I'm sober tomorrow. I prefer hearing how people have worked at staying sober and learning the benefits of doing so.
I also think it's unfair to make generalizations about people with super long time sobriety that don't go to many meetings not having quality sobriety. I certainly hope that when I have over 20 years I won't be sitting in meetings several times a week. I think quality sobriety is based on more than meeting attendance.
So there's my newcomer rant. I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers today.
I also think it's unfair to make generalizations about people with super long time sobriety that don't go to many meetings not having quality sobriety. I certainly hope that when I have over 20 years I won't be sitting in meetings several times a week. I think quality sobriety is based on more than meeting attendance.
So there's my newcomer rant. I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers today.
X IV
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
I do hope when I have 20 years sober that I am still in meetings giving back what was so freely given to me by the old timers when I was new. Thank God for those old guys. They helped me save my life. I didn't trust anyone who didn't have long term sobriety. I wanted to know "How do you do this one day at a time for the rest of your life?????" They showed me. 
They continue to show me. The longest I have ever met and known was Gordon with 46 years. He is STILL going to meetings and giving back what he was so freely given. Yea!
They continue to show me. The longest I have ever met and known was Gordon with 46 years. He is STILL going to meetings and giving back what he was so freely given. Yea!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: midwest
Posts: 34
from sugah's post:
"She'll tell you how long she struggled -- her first five years were spent chemically sober but still self-willed -- but two decades of surrender follow her like star dust."
that's about where I am... in the struggling part. Thank you for sharing that. It is very inspirational to hear about someone who didn't necessarily "get it" in the first few years, but kept coming back and was able to surrender her self-willed nature.
I'm just now starting to realize that I've been having a hard time surrendering and that my self-propelled sobriety for the past couple years is driving me nuts. So I just continue to show up, not drink, go to meetings, hang out here from time to time and HP seems to give me a nod like this from time to time.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
"She'll tell you how long she struggled -- her first five years were spent chemically sober but still self-willed -- but two decades of surrender follow her like star dust."
that's about where I am... in the struggling part. Thank you for sharing that. It is very inspirational to hear about someone who didn't necessarily "get it" in the first few years, but kept coming back and was able to surrender her self-willed nature.
I'm just now starting to realize that I've been having a hard time surrendering and that my self-propelled sobriety for the past couple years is driving me nuts. So I just continue to show up, not drink, go to meetings, hang out here from time to time and HP seems to give me a nod like this from time to time.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
happycamper,
What I wrote about my friend applies to others I know with good, solid recovery. The one thing I was thinking when I read your reply was that damned cliché, "Stick around till the miracle happens." I'm in a place right now where I go every once in awhile (a flare in a chronic pain condition), and when I'm there, I think it's never going to end. What do you mean, "light at the end of a tunnel?" Don't you know that's the headlight of a train?? But I'm learning (from experience) that (*sigh*) This too truly shall pass. I'm learning it from these folks who've done the work, stuck around for the miracle, and assure me that it will get better. Not perfect, not exactly as I want it, but better. I'm in one of those places right now, the eighth day of not being able to do everything I want, and I'm finally okay with it. Today. The first seven days were spent fighting it and probably prolonging it. Duh!! One foot in front of the other (metaphorically speaking! I've got my feet up right now cuz actual steps are too painful!), and here I am, at SR, reading and posting and studying for Spanish finals. No time wasted!
Will you please remind me of this if I come back in a month or so complaining about another flare?
Sounds to me you're doing the work you need to do today. Thanks for sharing that!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
What I wrote about my friend applies to others I know with good, solid recovery. The one thing I was thinking when I read your reply was that damned cliché, "Stick around till the miracle happens." I'm in a place right now where I go every once in awhile (a flare in a chronic pain condition), and when I'm there, I think it's never going to end. What do you mean, "light at the end of a tunnel?" Don't you know that's the headlight of a train?? But I'm learning (from experience) that (*sigh*) This too truly shall pass. I'm learning it from these folks who've done the work, stuck around for the miracle, and assure me that it will get better. Not perfect, not exactly as I want it, but better. I'm in one of those places right now, the eighth day of not being able to do everything I want, and I'm finally okay with it. Today. The first seven days were spent fighting it and probably prolonging it. Duh!! One foot in front of the other (metaphorically speaking! I've got my feet up right now cuz actual steps are too painful!), and here I am, at SR, reading and posting and studying for Spanish finals. No time wasted!
Will you please remind me of this if I come back in a month or so complaining about another flare?
Sounds to me you're doing the work you need to do today. Thanks for sharing that!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
emerging from the darkness
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Springfield, Massachusetts
Posts: 33
Such an inspiring thread! On the other hand it saddens me that after 30, 40 or 50 years that you can relapse so easily that you must still attend meetings.
I suppose it's going to be a lifelong struggle, which is scary considering I am only on day 12 today!
I suppose it's going to be a lifelong struggle, which is scary considering I am only on day 12 today!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
Length of Sobriety?????
Hey Persian,
No you don't have to struggle the rest of your life. I don't depend on meetings for my sobriety, because I'm free. I don't have to go to meetings anymore, I go because I want to, when I can. This is the result of recovering from alcoholism by taking the action in the Twelve Steps. My life is full and busy these days.
A long time ago a man told me "you're not free to go until you are free to stay."
You never have to drink alcohol again in your life. Hell, you don't even have to want to drink again. And you don't have to stay sick, struggling and "recovering" for the rest of your life. You can get well. You can recover. I don't promise you a pain-free life or a life without its ups and downs, but you don't have to suffer anymore.
Jim
No you don't have to struggle the rest of your life. I don't depend on meetings for my sobriety, because I'm free. I don't have to go to meetings anymore, I go because I want to, when I can. This is the result of recovering from alcoholism by taking the action in the Twelve Steps. My life is full and busy these days.
A long time ago a man told me "you're not free to go until you are free to stay."
You never have to drink alcohol again in your life. Hell, you don't even have to want to drink again. And you don't have to stay sick, struggling and "recovering" for the rest of your life. You can get well. You can recover. I don't promise you a pain-free life or a life without its ups and downs, but you don't have to suffer anymore.
Jim
Originally Posted by The Persian 
Such an inspiring thread! On the other hand it saddens me that after 30, 40 or 50 years that you can relapse so easily that you must still attend meetings.
I suppose it's going to be a lifelong struggle, which is scary considering I am only on day 12 today!
I suppose it's going to be a lifelong struggle, which is scary considering I am only on day 12 today!
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I just sat and talked with a woman with 35 years yesterday, waiting on my doctor's appointment.
She's a hoot.
I don't see that she's 'dry' at all. She kept telling me I reminded her of herself when she came in.
it's inspiring, to say the least. It's funny that everyone who's spoken of her, says she's a hard -a**, but they like her. I found her to be genuine, and not hard at all.
huh.
She's a hoot.
I don't see that she's 'dry' at all. She kept telling me I reminded her of herself when she came in.
it's inspiring, to say the least. It's funny that everyone who's spoken of her, says she's a hard -a**, but they like her. I found her to be genuine, and not hard at all.
huh.
Follow Directions!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
You know I have seen everything mentioned here, I agree and at the same time disagree with many of the statements also....... good old fashion alcoholic rambling! LOL
There is a lady that attends at least 3 of the meetings I attend, she is pushing 31 years sober, she is a true example of what AA is all about, God blessed her by lifting her urge to drink at the tender age of 52, she is in her 80's now, she attends at least 7 meetings a week, she attends to give away what was given to her! She has a beautiful joyous life and never once fails to thank God for all she has.
Another gentlemen with 25 years sober I personally find annoying, but he is happy with himself, I do not wish to be like hime in 25 years with one exception he is happy.
We had a speaker at a meeting I went to Friday that has 3 years sober, even though he had been coming into the rooms on a fairly regular basis drunk for 13-14 years prior to that, I pray that I have my life as together as he does.
My sponsor just got 18 years sober, but that is but a very small reason of why I chose him to be my sponsor, the main reasons I chose him was because from all appearances he is living the steps and every person I knew in AA that knew him said if I wanted to work the steps with someone who lived them he was the man for the job.
At this point in my sobreity, time sober is a basic indicator due to the fact that I will have to live to be 92 and still sober in order to match the number of years I drank. I Have 93 days right now, comparing that to 40 years of drinking I have a long way to go to balance the scales.
But in all honesty, if I died today and was sober, I would die a happy man, knowing that at this point in my life I respect & like myself, my children & grandchildren love and respect me again and my wife does also.
Today is what matters in sobriety to me, not tomorrow, nor yesterday, but I still have respect for time.
There is a lady that attends at least 3 of the meetings I attend, she is pushing 31 years sober, she is a true example of what AA is all about, God blessed her by lifting her urge to drink at the tender age of 52, she is in her 80's now, she attends at least 7 meetings a week, she attends to give away what was given to her! She has a beautiful joyous life and never once fails to thank God for all she has.
Another gentlemen with 25 years sober I personally find annoying, but he is happy with himself, I do not wish to be like hime in 25 years with one exception he is happy.
We had a speaker at a meeting I went to Friday that has 3 years sober, even though he had been coming into the rooms on a fairly regular basis drunk for 13-14 years prior to that, I pray that I have my life as together as he does.
My sponsor just got 18 years sober, but that is but a very small reason of why I chose him to be my sponsor, the main reasons I chose him was because from all appearances he is living the steps and every person I knew in AA that knew him said if I wanted to work the steps with someone who lived them he was the man for the job.
At this point in my sobreity, time sober is a basic indicator due to the fact that I will have to live to be 92 and still sober in order to match the number of years I drank. I Have 93 days right now, comparing that to 40 years of drinking I have a long way to go to balance the scales.
But in all honesty, if I died today and was sober, I would die a happy man, knowing that at this point in my life I respect & like myself, my children & grandchildren love and respect me again and my wife does also.
Today is what matters in sobriety to me, not tomorrow, nor yesterday, but I still have respect for time.
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