TOPIC: Think About It. Would Anyone Miss You If You Died Of Drugs Or Alcoholism?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
TOPIC: Think About It. Would Anyone Miss You If You Died Of Drugs Or Alcoholism?
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
By the Grace of my HP and people here
in SR I havent had a drink of alcohol
since 8-11-90. For that im truely grateful.
Here's something to really think about....
Would anyone really miss you if u died of a
drug over dose or of an alcohol accident?
Back in Feb. 90 i had a bad accident which
landed me in the hosiptal for 10 days....
I was coming home from a club when less
than a mile away from my home where my
husband and 2 kids were fast alsleep...i
ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground.
When they took me to the hospital they had
remove my spleen are else i would have bled
to death...i also had numerous broken ribs,
contusions, broken toes, bruises....
I was a MESS....
Then after 3 months healing quite well, i
was right back out on the street drinking
and driving....
I came home to a horrible arguement to
then threaten my husband that i should just
kill myself....well he thought i was bluffing
and told me to go to bed....well ill fix him
i told myself....and down a hand full of
pain pills and off to bed i went hoping that
was the end of my misery....
Well the next morning my kids tried to wake
me unsucessfully....then the phone rang
allowing me to reach for it......(thst was
my HP calling me..He wasnt thru with me
yet.)
Later my family did an intervention on me
sending me to rehab for 28 days...
That was where i recieved the tools and
knowledge of recovery and how to stay
sober one day at a time...
My family did for me what i couldnt do for
myself....for that im truely grateful.
When i was continplating suicide...I was
drunk....i didnt care....i didnt care if others
cared if i lived or died....
Today....im sober....yet i still have issues and i still
remain teachable...sometimes i do think if i wasnt
such a sh**head then people would like me...but
i dont make it easy for others to be around me
lots of times....
I will however keep reaching for help and guidance
from my HP and u people....
Thanks for letting me share.
By the Grace of my HP and people here
in SR I havent had a drink of alcohol
since 8-11-90. For that im truely grateful.
Here's something to really think about....
Would anyone really miss you if u died of a
drug over dose or of an alcohol accident?
Back in Feb. 90 i had a bad accident which
landed me in the hosiptal for 10 days....
I was coming home from a club when less
than a mile away from my home where my
husband and 2 kids were fast alsleep...i
ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground.
When they took me to the hospital they had
remove my spleen are else i would have bled
to death...i also had numerous broken ribs,
contusions, broken toes, bruises....
I was a MESS....
Then after 3 months healing quite well, i
was right back out on the street drinking
and driving....
I came home to a horrible arguement to
then threaten my husband that i should just
kill myself....well he thought i was bluffing
and told me to go to bed....well ill fix him
i told myself....and down a hand full of
pain pills and off to bed i went hoping that
was the end of my misery....
Well the next morning my kids tried to wake
me unsucessfully....then the phone rang
allowing me to reach for it......(thst was
my HP calling me..He wasnt thru with me
yet.)
Later my family did an intervention on me
sending me to rehab for 28 days...
That was where i recieved the tools and
knowledge of recovery and how to stay
sober one day at a time...
My family did for me what i couldnt do for
myself....for that im truely grateful.
When i was continplating suicide...I was
drunk....i didnt care....i didnt care if others
cared if i lived or died....
Today....im sober....yet i still have issues and i still
remain teachable...sometimes i do think if i wasnt
such a sh**head then people would like me...but
i dont make it easy for others to be around me
lots of times....
I will however keep reaching for help and guidance
from my HP and u people....
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 2
Thanks for sharing your experience. Your family must care about you very much in spite of sometimes "being a sh**head" if indeed you are.
Everyone tells me that you cannot recover for anyone else; that you must learn to care about yourself enough to do it for yourself above all else.
At this point, I'm not there yet, and I am entering (yet another) program of recovery because a few people around me have demonstrated that they cannot stand to lose me. Hopefully the program helps me find some reason to do want it for myself...
May I ask, have you learned some self-love over the course of your journey, even if there are still days when you are down on yourself? Have you found things inside you that are worth recovering for?
Peace
Everyone tells me that you cannot recover for anyone else; that you must learn to care about yourself enough to do it for yourself above all else.
At this point, I'm not there yet, and I am entering (yet another) program of recovery because a few people around me have demonstrated that they cannot stand to lose me. Hopefully the program helps me find some reason to do want it for myself...
May I ask, have you learned some self-love over the course of your journey, even if there are still days when you are down on yourself? Have you found things inside you that are worth recovering for?
Peace
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
this is a great topic. very real subject matter for people like us. its a miracle im still alive. age 19 i overdosed on heroin in front of my friends family (i was living with them because my family kicked me out). the father gave me CPR while the paramedics came and eventually brought me back from the dead. at the time many people would have been devastated by my death (mother,father, brother, step brothers, step sister, friends, friends parents, etc).
now that im 26 and 10 months sober even more people would be devastated. everyone i had already mentioned would be crushed because they now have hope for me. you cant prepare for a death from a young person, but it would not have been shocking if i died when i was out there. i was using heroin and everynight people thought it could be my last. but now in recovery they all think im going to live and would be MUCH MUCH more blindsided
furthermore, my AA network would be totally destroyed. sponser, all my friends in the program,etc.
finally boss, co-workers,etc who are all well aware of me sobriety, would also be crushed. when i was out there, i probably would have had 50+ people attend my funeral. now after a period in the program, id be looking at 100-200 people. scary morbid thoughts...but believe me i thought about who would attend my funeral everyday for years when i was out there.
very very real but worthwhile because i need to remember that if i relapse its probable i will die. im 26, i dont want to die.
now that im 26 and 10 months sober even more people would be devastated. everyone i had already mentioned would be crushed because they now have hope for me. you cant prepare for a death from a young person, but it would not have been shocking if i died when i was out there. i was using heroin and everynight people thought it could be my last. but now in recovery they all think im going to live and would be MUCH MUCH more blindsided
furthermore, my AA network would be totally destroyed. sponser, all my friends in the program,etc.
finally boss, co-workers,etc who are all well aware of me sobriety, would also be crushed. when i was out there, i probably would have had 50+ people attend my funeral. now after a period in the program, id be looking at 100-200 people. scary morbid thoughts...but believe me i thought about who would attend my funeral everyday for years when i was out there.
very very real but worthwhile because i need to remember that if i relapse its probable i will die. im 26, i dont want to die.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Great topic Sharon, as usual.
Even in my addiction I still had family and friends that loved me. I put them through hell and yet my mom fought tooth and nail to get me to see the light. Had she not done that I may very well have died. So, even in my addiction people would have noticed and missed me because they loved me even when I didn't love myself.
Today, the number of people has grown dramatically. I have a pretty large home group of people who I have come to know and love warts and all. I know they would miss me just as I would (and have) missed those who have passed on whether in the disease or not. In those rooms I have friends, a partner, a sponsor and a sponsee who would definitely notice if I disappeared and I thank God for that! Just one more of the many gifts of sobriety!
Hugs,
Kellye
Even in my addiction I still had family and friends that loved me. I put them through hell and yet my mom fought tooth and nail to get me to see the light. Had she not done that I may very well have died. So, even in my addiction people would have noticed and missed me because they loved me even when I didn't love myself.
Today, the number of people has grown dramatically. I have a pretty large home group of people who I have come to know and love warts and all. I know they would miss me just as I would (and have) missed those who have passed on whether in the disease or not. In those rooms I have friends, a partner, a sponsor and a sponsee who would definitely notice if I disappeared and I thank God for that! Just one more of the many gifts of sobriety!
Hugs,
Kellye
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
they would now .
there wasn't anyone before I came back to the fellowship of AA.
I missd a meeting tonight - told everyone last night that I probably was going to miss it - because thanksgiving hustle left me with only about 3 hours sleep the day before.
I wound up sleeping until five minutes before the last meeting of the night. So I listened to music, did my prayer and meditation, cleaned the house a bit ...
then,k when I came on work,, the phone rang - it was my pals from AA - they'd gone to walk mart and wanted to stop by ... just to look at me and see for themselves I was ok!
nobody has cared that much about me in a long time. We stood outside (no smoking in the hotel) and laughed .... mini meeting before work!
that's why I love AA . That's why I keep comong back. HP has done for me what I could not do for myself - make friends who truly care about me.
there wasn't anyone before I came back to the fellowship of AA.
I missd a meeting tonight - told everyone last night that I probably was going to miss it - because thanksgiving hustle left me with only about 3 hours sleep the day before.
I wound up sleeping until five minutes before the last meeting of the night. So I listened to music, did my prayer and meditation, cleaned the house a bit ...
then,k when I came on work,, the phone rang - it was my pals from AA - they'd gone to walk mart and wanted to stop by ... just to look at me and see for themselves I was ok!
nobody has cared that much about me in a long time. We stood outside (no smoking in the hotel) and laughed .... mini meeting before work!
that's why I love AA . That's why I keep comong back. HP has done for me what I could not do for myself - make friends who truly care about me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 363
Before, I thought that I would have to hire mourners for my funeral.
Recently, I was about 20 minutes late getting to work.(I usually get there 1 hr early with my coworkers so we can make sure to drink too much coffee)
They were outside watching for me -10c out, and when I got home there were 2 emails and 3 phone messages inquiring where I was. They were even telling clients later in the day that I was late that morning.
This was touching. I don't have much family left and my years of solitary drinking didn.t impress many friends.
Ron
Recently, I was about 20 minutes late getting to work.(I usually get there 1 hr early with my coworkers so we can make sure to drink too much coffee)
They were outside watching for me -10c out, and when I got home there were 2 emails and 3 phone messages inquiring where I was. They were even telling clients later in the day that I was late that morning.
This was touching. I don't have much family left and my years of solitary drinking didn.t impress many friends.
Ron
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Good Morning my SR family.....
Thank you all for sharing your
thoughts here..your ESH with
me and others.
You are all MUCH APPRECIATED..!
Yesterday morning i emailed several
buddies of mine...one in AA and one
not....the one that's not is a long time
friend of mine that i met at my very
first job i had when i was 18. We both
worked in a local Dept. store....Anyway..
there were 3 of us there that became
very good friends and have stayed
connected in friendship all these yrs.
The other friend in AA is one of many
good friends of mine i met in early
recovery. Our sobriety dates r close in
yrs. Anyway....
I proceeded to let both know im still
coming home to Baton Rouge to visit
in a few weeks....I also explained as
they have know all these yrs how
miserable i have been here in Houston
missing my AA support family back
home.
I told them that this could be my great
escape when i come home to visit. See
my spouse has no intentions of ever
moving back home because his job
is here....me, I have nothing here.
My heart and love of my AA family is
back home....anyway....i told them if
only there was a reason to keep me in
BR when i return....maybe they could
kidnap me hold me for ransom for my
belongings to be sent home... : )
I could stay there forever if i had a
good reason to.....anything....however
since we tried the divorce several times...
that is out of the question for now....
its to stressful....
If i had a job and a place to live back home
i could move back for good...
Ive tried that route too with no sucess...
I keep thinking my HP has other plans
for me.....
Anyway.....after sharing to my buddy
in AA back home and asking for help...
he sent this reply...
"Tell him everybody in BR wants you here!"
Upon recieving this....i had the biggest grin
on my face and my heart sprang with joy...
Because of this i have a reason to live....
Can i ask for anything more?
Thank you all for sharing your
thoughts here..your ESH with
me and others.
You are all MUCH APPRECIATED..!
Yesterday morning i emailed several
buddies of mine...one in AA and one
not....the one that's not is a long time
friend of mine that i met at my very
first job i had when i was 18. We both
worked in a local Dept. store....Anyway..
there were 3 of us there that became
very good friends and have stayed
connected in friendship all these yrs.
The other friend in AA is one of many
good friends of mine i met in early
recovery. Our sobriety dates r close in
yrs. Anyway....
I proceeded to let both know im still
coming home to Baton Rouge to visit
in a few weeks....I also explained as
they have know all these yrs how
miserable i have been here in Houston
missing my AA support family back
home.
I told them that this could be my great
escape when i come home to visit. See
my spouse has no intentions of ever
moving back home because his job
is here....me, I have nothing here.
My heart and love of my AA family is
back home....anyway....i told them if
only there was a reason to keep me in
BR when i return....maybe they could
kidnap me hold me for ransom for my
belongings to be sent home... : )
I could stay there forever if i had a
good reason to.....anything....however
since we tried the divorce several times...
that is out of the question for now....
its to stressful....
If i had a job and a place to live back home
i could move back for good...
Ive tried that route too with no sucess...
I keep thinking my HP has other plans
for me.....
Anyway.....after sharing to my buddy
in AA back home and asking for help...
he sent this reply...
"Tell him everybody in BR wants you here!"
Upon recieving this....i had the biggest grin
on my face and my heart sprang with joy...
Because of this i have a reason to live....
Can i ask for anything more?
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