luli2979

This situation is killing me! I feel weak, sad, depressed, anssius... I don't know what's happening to me. For moments I want to cry and then I hate him. But sometimes I love him and I think that I can't live without him. This sounds crazy and maby I am going crazy, who knows...

lilac

(((luli))) You are not going crazy....These are all the same feelings that I have everyday. (I left my AH a month ago, but have been an idiot and stayed in some contact with him). You need to focus on yourself, work on you......because you can't control what he does. Keep coming back here to post and to read. We love you !

BohemiMamaof3

I agree, read the books recommended in the stickys and find an Al-Anon meeting. You are not alone, so many of us have similar feelings and situations.

Pick-a-name

I have the same feelings;that's why I come here to read and post! It is one of the things that really helps me. I think it is all a part of our own healing process.

Glad you are here......hope it helps make you feel on firmer-footing,too!

mallowcup

You can't rely on the comfort of familiarity. Even what you had was rotten, it was familiar. What lies ahead is everything. What you had was nothing. That concept is perverted right now.

embraced2000

morning luli
i understand how you feel....so very well. understand the pain, confusion, confliction.

do you attend al-anon? they were and still are, a life-line for me. when i felt like you are right now....which i still do at times....al-anon showed me the way back to my own sanity.

many hugs to you luli....you are not alone in this

blessings
jeri

mazey

Oh, Dazed, how perfectly you said that. It is so much what we go thru. And, we do get depressed, crazy, confused, mad, & lose ourselves. It is such a mixture of emotion. Love/hate! Puts us in such a turmoil. These days I am loving serenity, I had truly lost any serene times when it came to him and our relationship. I am going to somehow save your post to re-read from time to time and remember.....when I am questioning. Hope life gets better for you and all....

scared and sad

Dazed...I really can't believe how everyone goes through the exact same things. We are depressed,sticks in the mud, boring, etc. etc... If I wasn't so mentally ill, his drinking/drug use wouldn't be such a big problem....You all have heard the same words i'm sure. I do get sad and cry, but it's because of the addiction, not because I'm depressed.

IrshIzNotSmilin

Hi Luli, never feel crazy or alone. We are here. We know. Welcome. Irsh

luli2979

Thank you guys for all of your posts, that make me feel that I'm not crazy and alone.

steady14

D&C2

Amen! What you posted sounds like I wrote it.