Lost
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 17
Lost
Im lost and Im wondering if anyone has any words to get me through this. I am experienced with Alanon but have not gone in quite some time. I had a great meeting but then moved and have not found one that clicked and just kind of gave up. My father is an alcoholic and my family on both sides has many generations of alcoholism. I am currently dating an alcoholic and have been for about a year. I keep telling myself that I am going to end things and that I deserve better and then I keep seeing things that loop me back in. Just need some words of wisdom here!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR helpagirl.... we are glad you found us.
I can remember the first year I dated my ex-abf, OMG there were SO many red flags you would have thought it was the 4th of July and I did the same thing... just keep getting pulled back in.... What I have discovered since then through theraphy, Al-anon, Reading and of course here is that it was my choice, oviously I was choosing a life with an active/abusive alcoholic and needed to figure out why.
I already knew I grew up in a home of alcoholism, I knew my first husband was an alcoholic..... Im comfortable with this. I found that I had work to do on my assertivness that I was allowing myself to live in a situation that had no hope for real happiness and that I would never want my daughter to live this life.... so then I had to figure out why it was good enough for me but not her.
Today I do not have an Alcoholic in my life, but I still work daily to get to the core of me. Im no longer in a relationship with someone because I feel that untill I get some of my issues resolved I will continue to attract the same type of man... and I dont want to live that lifestyle anymore.... SO I continue to keep the focus on me, attend my meetings, learn all I can and she with the wonderful people at SR.....
I did not end up like this overnight and Im pretty sure I will not fix it that quickly... so for today its all about mmmmmeeeeee!
I look forward to getting to know you.
I can remember the first year I dated my ex-abf, OMG there were SO many red flags you would have thought it was the 4th of July and I did the same thing... just keep getting pulled back in.... What I have discovered since then through theraphy, Al-anon, Reading and of course here is that it was my choice, oviously I was choosing a life with an active/abusive alcoholic and needed to figure out why.
I already knew I grew up in a home of alcoholism, I knew my first husband was an alcoholic..... Im comfortable with this. I found that I had work to do on my assertivness that I was allowing myself to live in a situation that had no hope for real happiness and that I would never want my daughter to live this life.... so then I had to figure out why it was good enough for me but not her.
Today I do not have an Alcoholic in my life, but I still work daily to get to the core of me. Im no longer in a relationship with someone because I feel that untill I get some of my issues resolved I will continue to attract the same type of man... and I dont want to live that lifestyle anymore.... SO I continue to keep the focus on me, attend my meetings, learn all I can and she with the wonderful people at SR.....
I did not end up like this overnight and Im pretty sure I will not fix it that quickly... so for today its all about mmmmmeeeeee!
I look forward to getting to know you.
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