The Universe is Messing with Me
Becoming a Butterfly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
The Universe is Messing with Me
So ex-AH, as I have mentioned, got two promotions since we parted. He bought a beautiful boat - I mean fancy like a Tony Soprano kind of boat. He's still drinking some, but not like he was when we were together. He also lost a ton of weight which had been grossing me out. Yesterday I got fired out of the blue. They told me it was a business decision and I'd still get a good reference, etc etc, but the timing couldn't be worse.
So ex-AH came by and took me to dinner and grocery shopping to try to cheer me up and help me out. While we were at dinner he got a call on his cell phone. At first he obviously couldn't figure out who it was. He saying, "Who is this? Why are you calling me?" in an obviously confused way. Then he says a woman's name in recognition and quickly steps outside. I recognized the name. It's a old girlfriend from college. I am guessing she's calling him to see if he wants to get together because I just happen to have called and gotten together with an old college boyfriend myself. Of course, my old college boyfriend isn't interested in a relationship with me. ex-AH might be interested in a relationship with this woman because she was his first real ... um ... shall we say 'wild lover'. He was obsessed with her but she dumped him. I know he still has many warm thoughts about her.
So to recap, ex-AH has gotten promoted 2x, bought a boat, has a new potential lover, and looks great. Me, I've gotten fired and my ex-bf isn't interested in me.
The universe is messing with me pretty bad.
So ex-AH came by and took me to dinner and grocery shopping to try to cheer me up and help me out. While we were at dinner he got a call on his cell phone. At first he obviously couldn't figure out who it was. He saying, "Who is this? Why are you calling me?" in an obviously confused way. Then he says a woman's name in recognition and quickly steps outside. I recognized the name. It's a old girlfriend from college. I am guessing she's calling him to see if he wants to get together because I just happen to have called and gotten together with an old college boyfriend myself. Of course, my old college boyfriend isn't interested in a relationship with me. ex-AH might be interested in a relationship with this woman because she was his first real ... um ... shall we say 'wild lover'. He was obsessed with her but she dumped him. I know he still has many warm thoughts about her.
So to recap, ex-AH has gotten promoted 2x, bought a boat, has a new potential lover, and looks great. Me, I've gotten fired and my ex-bf isn't interested in me.
The universe is messing with me pretty bad.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there Wants, I'm sorry the universe is messing with you. It's messing with me too. I got heart problems, got fired for having heart surgery, now can't find a job cuz I got a big gap in my resume, running outta savings.
yeah, it sucks when things go bad in life. But you know what? I've got _me_ back. If I had stayed in my crazy marriage with my ex-aw I would not have the peace of mind I have now, or the opportunity to make my own life my own way. I'll get another job, move to a new town, make new friends and so on. If I had stayed I would have gone insane by now.
Life just happens, but it's _my_ choice how I decide to feel about it. I can allow myself to feel bad over the things I have no control, or I can just not think about 'em and instead focus on the things I _can_ control. Like sending out resumes and going to meetings.
Have a
from one fellow "universe dumpee" to another.
Mike
yeah, it sucks when things go bad in life. But you know what? I've got _me_ back. If I had stayed in my crazy marriage with my ex-aw I would not have the peace of mind I have now, or the opportunity to make my own life my own way. I'll get another job, move to a new town, make new friends and so on. If I had stayed I would have gone insane by now.
Life just happens, but it's _my_ choice how I decide to feel about it. I can allow myself to feel bad over the things I have no control, or I can just not think about 'em and instead focus on the things I _can_ control. Like sending out resumes and going to meetings.
Have a
from one fellow "universe dumpee" to another.Mike
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hi WantsOut,
It sure stinks when everything seems to go south... I've been there too and I try to remember the sayings in the rooms...This too will pass, Is it worth it? etc. but sometimes those words just don't help and that is when I try to have a bit more faith for good things to come.
I don't know you- but promotions and a new boat do not disguise the fact that AH is still an active drinker.... It's maybe a bit harder for you to hear of his 'success' now because you have had some unexpected setbacks yourself and it doesn't seem fair.
I'm glad you are sharing this here as it always helps to have some friends who care and understand.... I hope you will see that is the case here.
cmc
It sure stinks when everything seems to go south... I've been there too and I try to remember the sayings in the rooms...This too will pass, Is it worth it? etc. but sometimes those words just don't help and that is when I try to have a bit more faith for good things to come.
I don't know you- but promotions and a new boat do not disguise the fact that AH is still an active drinker.... It's maybe a bit harder for you to hear of his 'success' now because you have had some unexpected setbacks yourself and it doesn't seem fair.
I'm glad you are sharing this here as it always helps to have some friends who care and understand.... I hope you will see that is the case here.
cmc
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: TX
Posts: 371
Yeah my AH lost 70 lbs since I told him we were having problems..... he looks good, he's drinking less..... but I'M STILL NOT HAPPY inside. Luckily I haven't lost my job... that was a low blow.
Things will turn around for you sweetie. You don't want an old boyfriend... you want something New and Vibrant to spice up your life. Be patiend.
Things will turn around for you sweetie. You don't want an old boyfriend... you want something New and Vibrant to spice up your life. Be patiend.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
ewww...I know those thoughts! I try to remember how good my AH looked on the outside to people when he was still living at home with us;NOT the same story behind closed doors. I'd say your AH is probably working very hard to prop himself up now to try to convince himself and others that he is not an alcoholic.....also it is ALL about HIM still;right? A's are masters at doing things for themselves and to bolster their images;esp. sagging images and sagging ego.....
Sorry about the job (and everything else). I hope something even better is around the corner for you very soon!
Sorry about the job (and everything else). I hope something even better is around the corner for you very soon!
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