Son's Counselling
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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Son's Counselling
Of course I got the old "I don't want to go. There's nothing wrong with me." I simply told him that I know and I didn't say there was anything wrong with him, but he's been experiencing some symptoms which leads me to think he's holding too much in. And that I want to be sure that he's dealing with everything ok. "I'm fine!" Ok. Well, we'll see how this goes.
On the way there, he says "I don't know what to talk about." I told him that was ok. That there were many times I walked in without anything to talk about and ended up not having enough time to talk once I got in there, and I actually walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. I told him not to worry.
He said he didn't want to talk about his dreams. I told him he can choose what he wants to talk about.
SO....once we got there, I went in to the counseller and told her what was going on. About his dreams and anxious stomach (both of which has been a problem IMO since he was really young). I told her that me and G were seperated. I told her that G was an alcoholic. That he don't see G very often. I told her that up until the last few months I was struggling BAD with codependancy and that there were a few occassions I had asked my son to make adult decisions...I gave her a few examples (which at the time I didn't think anything about it) and basically, since he was the only one I had to talk too, he heard a lot that he shouldn't have.....like me obsessively worrying about G.
( I went into very little detail about his dreams and explained to her that he didn't want me to tell her about them b/c it scared him to talk about them.)
She asked if my son worried about me....I couldn't answer that one b/c he's never really expressed that to me.
She asked if the dreams were about people chasing him or coming after him...I told her "Yes, they were." and that the last two really bad ones had G in them. (I'm curious to find out what her assumption of that is.)
After me talking to her for about 15 minutes, she called in my son. They talked for about 20 minutes. He came out with this strange little grin on his face. I smiled and asked what that "look" was for. He said, "Because, I feel just like you said you did. I feel like a million bucks!"
He goes back on the 27th.
On the way there, he says "I don't know what to talk about." I told him that was ok. That there were many times I walked in without anything to talk about and ended up not having enough time to talk once I got in there, and I actually walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. I told him not to worry.
He said he didn't want to talk about his dreams. I told him he can choose what he wants to talk about.
SO....once we got there, I went in to the counseller and told her what was going on. About his dreams and anxious stomach (both of which has been a problem IMO since he was really young). I told her that me and G were seperated. I told her that G was an alcoholic. That he don't see G very often. I told her that up until the last few months I was struggling BAD with codependancy and that there were a few occassions I had asked my son to make adult decisions...I gave her a few examples (which at the time I didn't think anything about it) and basically, since he was the only one I had to talk too, he heard a lot that he shouldn't have.....like me obsessively worrying about G.
( I went into very little detail about his dreams and explained to her that he didn't want me to tell her about them b/c it scared him to talk about them.)
She asked if my son worried about me....I couldn't answer that one b/c he's never really expressed that to me.
She asked if the dreams were about people chasing him or coming after him...I told her "Yes, they were." and that the last two really bad ones had G in them. (I'm curious to find out what her assumption of that is.)
After me talking to her for about 15 minutes, she called in my son. They talked for about 20 minutes. He came out with this strange little grin on his face. I smiled and asked what that "look" was for. He said, "Because, I feel just like you said you did. I feel like a million bucks!"
He goes back on the 27th.
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What a great story, Jess. I'm so happy for you and your son that you took this step. I hope others who wonder if counseling can help their children will read this post and go for it.
Thank you for sharing!
L
Thank you for sharing!
L
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
He has been bouncing off the walls today. I don't know what they talked about, but his mood today is awesome. He has actually made some sarcastic comments about his dad.....Which I don't condone, but at least he's getting it out.
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Location: Bronx, NY
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Wow, how great. Jessica, you should be commended for not only doing right by your son, but also for being so honest about yourself and your potential role in some of what is going on with him. That's not so easy to do! Good for you both.
.gif)
Keep up the good work.
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