sadface

and this is the first time in 17 years we are not doing anything together. I always did something for his birthday. For the past week I have been thinking about it, whether I should call him, sent him a small gift or invite him for a special dinner. Anyway, I decided not to do anything. He called me this morning (it's been a week since we talked) to see how I am and just small talk. He wasn't drunk, just quiet. I wished him a HB. He thanked me and gave a big sigh. Anyway, I can't do anything about it. Maybe as time goes by, it will get easier. I know alcoholics blame everything on us, but do they remember the good times.

Pick-a-name

sadface....BTDT; glad he called and you did get to talk to him. What would have been our 28th wedding anniversary (until he divorced me a few months ago) is coming up in a few weeks, and I am already dreading it....

Sending you a big hug.

Only God knows what they think; I doubt that they have a clue themselves sometimes.

sadface

P-A-N, it is hard to ignore those special days...I tried. I think my AH did remember and that is why he called. For yourspecial day, I am sending you a big hug and have a wonderful day.

cwohio

big hugs to both of you!!!

mfisher

Those "special days" are really hard.
What is funny is that I would dread them when we were together, because he was usually drunk and ruined them.
But just the idea of not hearing or saying Happy Birthday/Anniversary to someone you said it to for 23 years is just hard.
I must say it is kinda of nice not having to pay for the flowers he always sent me.
Do you know how much a dozen roses cost? YIKES

Jazzman

Huh?!?!?!?!?

*shakes head*

Pick-a-name

You folks are the best!

HeatherSpartan

Wow, this forum has helped me so much to think clearer about my AH.

As i was reading this.. i couldnt help but think of my past bday and anniversaries... wow they SUCKED, Ill never forget my first wedding anniversery... I was at work and my husbands friend walks in the door with a dozen roses- they were really beautiful. And as he comes up to the window ( i worked as a receptionist at a psych office) he handed me the flowers and told me "happy anniversary." ANd i thought, "where the hell is my husband and why isnt he delivering these!" He said, "Your husbands out in the truck."

SO i go out there, thinking this is all part of the plan- and awaiting the rest of my gift of something, and he is so incredibly drunk off his ass, he barely knows where he's at... he was so drunk he couldnt deliver me the flowers... he had his friend do it... it was a horrible day. I rememeber the day was so great up till then...