Dave36

I'm 28 days sober and almost just relapsed. My wife is out of town for work and I really considered walking to the bar two blocks from my house. I almost did it not because I'm feeling bad but because I'm feeling better. Was a heavy daily drinker for about 15 years and the first three weeks of sobriety have been hell. Just in the last few days I've felt like i can see light at the end of the tunnel. Have had bad anxiety the last few years. From drinking I think. Never had it before. I thought it would go away after I detoxed. It didn't. It might even be worse because at least when I was drinking I had a few hours of relief a day. Until the hellish morning withdrawal. I stopped getting hangovers and just went straight to withdrawal. Which is why I quit. Not the fact that my liver enzymes were really elevated. Haha. I couldn't stand the anxiety anymore. Guess for me the anxiety was worse than dying. Anyway I feel pretty good today and thought I should go grab a burger and have a few beers. After all I've been through the last month. Hospital detox, feeling like crap and thinking I'm going crazy. How insane is it that I'd forget it all so fast just as I'm feeling a little better. What a crazy disease. The thing the stopped me is the fear of the killer anxiety I know I'd wake up with. I know it's a tool I can use now to help keep me sober. A bad thing I can make positive.

Waterfalls2014

Hi Dave, a big congrats on saying no to your AV. You know it's just trying to talk you into going back to that dark day 1. Glad you came on here instead and didn't go to the bar. Keep looking forward. Your going to have tons more days feeling really good. Don't let your AV steal them away. Good work

Wastinglife

I was suffering crippling anxiety during my worst drinking period. I could barely function at work and the only relief was more booze. I couldn't wait until 5pm each day so I could get respite from my thoughts. It took a month of sobriety for the anxiety to go away which is why it was so hard sober up.

Sounds like you are in a good place now. Don't ruin it by thinking you can have a few,

ProgressNotPerfection

Gratz on the choices and the time! Don't listen to the anxiety - it is a liar!!

biminiblue

Yeah. Stick with it. The anxiety goes away in a while - but as they say in AA, "if you want to return to drinking, it is happy to refund your misery."

advbike

I had chronic anxiety when I was drinking and hated that 3am wake up with the mind racing. I still get some situational anxiety but most of it's gone and I sleep a lot better now after a year sober.

Nocturnal

Hello im new here and have had ADHD I guess for life I always thought my anxiety is a symptom of that, but maybe its from the 20 yrs of drinking i guess i had it reversed you guys have given me another reason to quite for good. thank you everybody