Anniemsb

I read Don’s thread in the stalking topic, so I’ll help him out and cop out too. I have been here, mostly just reading. Couldn’t seem to put anything up until tonight. Hope all had a good, safe, 4th. I guess since the last few weeks after remembering a whole bunch of ugly stuff I have been kind of laying low. Also have a real bad sinus infection that I went to my Doc for. Haven’t been writing on my sites nor here either. Can’t tell what is really going on. Don’t know if I am isolating, or just want to tone down the emotional stuff to help get rid of my infection. I have not felt all stressed out and uptight or anything like that, but don’t feel like going to see my therapist on Thursday... haven’t seen him for three weeks as he had to go out of town. Haven't sent much to him where my writing is concerned because as I said, I haven’t done much. Know that will come up in our session. Don’t feel like I have anything to say and don’t want to talk much. Haven’t felt depressed, just sick. Kind of want to be off in my own little world with out having all the emotional turmoil for a while. Don’t want to talk about the stuff I did send my Therapist. Maybe I am just resting up for what God wants me to do next.... I can never tell in the last few years. Just want some peace and quite for a while, rest up, not dig deep for a while. I did have a real good talk with my Uncle haven’t seemed to be able to write to my Aunt yet.... think that would be too much right now. I just don’t know if I am in isolation now or not so thought I’d start the topic and see where it goes. Ok, I started reading: “The Stranger in the Mirror� its about disassociation, bothered me... didn’t finish it and took it back to the library Monday, that happened too and I don’t want to talk about that either. Hugs to you all, Annie

Morning Glory

Hugs Annie,

I go through long phases when I don't want to talk. It's not really that I don't want to, but more like I can't find a thing to say. I isolate most of the time. Sometimes I can talk a lot about certain topics. Mostly work and mostly venting.

Other times I don't talk when I'm holding in some pain or stress. Those are times I want to escape human contact. I just want to play on the computer or watch TV and go into my spacey place. That's my mild way of disassociation. I always hit a flat place after I had a big memory come up. It usually lasted about 3 months until the next memory came up.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs,
MG

Anniemsb

Oh good I'd like three months of no memories coming up..... God mine happen faster then that, crap! I think it is like I have done this hard thing and come through it and I don't want anyone to screw up my little rest up time after. So I don't want to be around people or talk a lot to avoid any triggers or new memories coming up. But I must say I am thinking about all the stuff I went through and how it effected me ect... so I am not in total avoidance! May be just a quite time inside, I do have those too; I just never know what is going on lately. Love to you, Annie

Morning Glory

It's really amazing how our minds work.

I was the master at holding down memories, lol. I fought hard to keep those memories down. They didn't come up until I was so tired I couldn't hold my arms up. I made it take a lot longer by doing that, but who wants to remember?

It's not fun, but it does end.

Take a break if you can. There's nothing wrong with that.