What is happening?!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hole-in-the-Wall TX
Posts: 88
What is happening?!
I was breezing along yesterday with an optimistic outlook and energetic when all of a sudden my brain started racing. Not about anything in particular, just my Addictive Voice was going like this >>> 
Not like a selfish child taking a tantrum, but like a totally insane rabid animal howling and having a seizure in my mind. I raced through the house cleaning like I was on warp speed, my hands shaking and my heart racing. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone!
I called my daughter in CA and she suggested I may need an anti-anxiety med. But I truly want to do this without drugs if I can.
Anyhow............
I've been crying this morning and it feels like a release more than sadness. Although I feel burn out in my head. I'm going out with my son later for dinner and some special service at a church down the road.
In spite of my way bizarro emotions today, my friends I wish you a wonderful Easter.
Not like a selfish child taking a tantrum, but like a totally insane rabid animal howling and having a seizure in my mind. I raced through the house cleaning like I was on warp speed, my hands shaking and my heart racing. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone!
I called my daughter in CA and she suggested I may need an anti-anxiety med. But I truly want to do this without drugs if I can.
Anyhow............
I've been crying this morning and it feels like a release more than sadness. Although I feel burn out in my head. I'm going out with my son later for dinner and some special service at a church down the road.In spite of my way bizarro emotions today, my friends I wish you a wonderful Easter.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,476
Early recovery is an emotional time. It can be a bit like a rollercoaster sometimes.
Of course if you're concerned see your Dr... if not, maybe allow yourself a few weeks to settle down?
D
Of course if you're concerned see your Dr... if not, maybe allow yourself a few weeks to settle down?
D
Try try again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hole-in-the-Wall TX
Posts: 88
Thank you very much, Dee. 
Perhaps getting into an AA group will help me, too. I'm having trouble finding one in my area as I'm kinda in deep country on the outskirts of Austin, TX.
Perhaps getting into an AA group will help me, too. I'm having trouble finding one in my area as I'm kinda in deep country on the outskirts of Austin, TX.
Try try again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hole-in-the-Wall TX
Posts: 88
Ok, I screwed up royally last night. R-O-Y-A-L-L-Y!!! 
I contacted a friend of mine on the West Coast who's been working with addicts for decades. He shared with me his story of recovery and then emailed me information on his experience with Rational Recovery. He also praised AA and suggested I use both AA and AVRT.
Anyhow, I'm unloading my heavy burden of guilt, shame and despair and just gonna fake it till I make it. Seriously, I think the William James' quote below is going to be my inspiration for awhile.
Today I'm acting like I'm not an alcoholic.
I contacted a friend of mine on the West Coast who's been working with addicts for decades. He shared with me his story of recovery and then emailed me information on his experience with Rational Recovery. He also praised AA and suggested I use both AA and AVRT.
Anyhow, I'm unloading my heavy burden of guilt, shame and despair and just gonna fake it till I make it. Seriously, I think the William James' quote below is going to be my inspiration for awhile.
Today I'm acting like I'm not an alcoholic.
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