notdyingyoung

hi guys!

im alex and i've been sober a little over 2 weeks. i've been in and out of the rooms and in one form of treatment center, wilderness program, and sober living since june 10th of last year. i found the willingness and open mindedness this time arround as i dug my hole deeper and deeper. i have a sponsor who i call everyday and meet with daily. currently on my 4th step!!! i go to meetings everyday if my program allows me to which they usually do. over the past year i've learned that addiction goes hand in hand with other mental ilnesses i suffer from. i've been diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety, and adhd. i meet with a psychiatrist every week and am working on a regimen for me to take. im on zoloft and am taking seroquel prn. im wondering if anyone knows or has experienced with the NON ADDICTIVE anxiety meds such as buspar. one of the clinicians was thinking of a prn xanax or klonipin but i dont want to go on a benzo. ive never taken either or abused. but i know from my experience with gabapentin that when it got me ****** up my motives were (freelapse) because hey im taking it as the doctor says. but now that that brought me to deeper and darker places ive taken action into checking my motives. i honestly dont want to start up a another addiction to benzos in and of itself so im trying to find out more about these non addictive anxiety relief meds. im 18 years old btw!

thanks alex!!!

Introvrtd1

I keep falling off....

lilyrosemary

Hi alex, i wish i had more to offer, but what i want to say is i am so thankful you are reaching out for help now. i drank and used drugs from age 15 to age 49. it makes me kind of want to cry as i write this that i wasted my life...(i know that sounds harsh and i am so very joyful to be sober NOW) i am so very grateful that you and other people your age have so many resources and so much help available to you. i hear and feel your pain. i, too, have had general anxiety all my life, undiagnosed, of course. anyway, i am sure you have heard all this before, how we self medicate, etc... i just want to wish you the very best, alex, that you find the right answers and the right help and that you can have a drug and alcohol free life. BTW, i have a very close friend that used alcohol and drugs to the maximum from age 15 - to age 19. he is now age 42, sober all those years, and the coolest guy you would ever want to meet. you can sober up and be an inspiration to others. God bless you and help you get sober!!

notdyingyoung

thanks lily!

Introvrtd1 just keep coming back. ik it sounds repetitive and said a lot but its true. i was once the person sober at meetings and questioning the people who came high. and then once i hit the point where i was the one coming to meetings high it finally hit me. tradition 3. the only desire for membership is a desire to stop using. u dont even have to believe anything aa talks about. as long as u have the desire to stop using u can do it! its not the end if u fall off, its how u get back up. and everytime i fell off i had self pity and just didnt care about myself. and when i fell off last time with harder drugs and shadier people and doing sicker things i made the decision to get back up. and i get back up everyday. i have cravings every day and ive had them for the past 3 weeks. all i want is my fix. but ik where that will take me and i call another addict/alcoholic when i feel that way. u can do it too man!

Introvrtd1

Thanks notdyingyoung.......the self pity...yeah....I feel it now....for 12 days I was sober....then I got cocky and blew it. I felt so good, and so strong....my head had cleared, the anxiety was gone, the sleep was terrific....but it didnt happen in one day...it took about 7 days to feel good again...but then another week goes by and I dropped the ball. Now Im back to my workouts, my appetite is still gone...I just hope I can sleep well enough tonite....sigh....we'll see....its only been 2 days...I know this shall pass.

neferkamichael

Notdyingyoung, 2 weeks? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.