abandement
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: oregon
Posts: 67
abandement
Hi all
When i was out there in my addiction i was in a really close relationship with a man that i thought at the time was my soul mate in life ....
In actuality he wasnt of course it was a very selfish sick relationship based on drugs and breaking a marriage up and i was with him for 5yrs after he left his wife
yes at times we talked about getting married but when our addictions were at the strongest and we found ourselves sleeping in my car or where ever we could i was sick and he took me to my sisters one day and asked if he could use her phone while i was asleep during that time he called his parents and they got him flight out of town into another state in a heart beat and i remember taking him to the airport a few days later
he promised me he would save money for me and my little girl to go to california after several weeks past we talked and he was seeing someone else it broke my damn heart to the point where i did something i said as a addict that i would never do
but i started to use a needle with my drug of choice ran hard and heavy for several months until i lost of my so called friends
anyways gettitng to now i recently had to put my new boyfriend /sons father on a plane on the way to the airport i started to cry...it was like the past was coming back to me but this time we are both recoverying alkie and addicts we both have strong programs but at times i was having this fear of never seeing him again he would reasure me this isnt going to happen to us
with my post tramic stress and abandment issues it soared
but this time we talk all the time and planning on moving to be closer togehter but where the hell is the doubt coming from
i have to pray daily to have it lifted
from me
i dont want to lose another relationship this is different it isnt sick
and i have lost him before and not willing to lose him again
hugs mistee
When i was out there in my addiction i was in a really close relationship with a man that i thought at the time was my soul mate in life ....
In actuality he wasnt of course it was a very selfish sick relationship based on drugs and breaking a marriage up and i was with him for 5yrs after he left his wife
yes at times we talked about getting married but when our addictions were at the strongest and we found ourselves sleeping in my car or where ever we could i was sick and he took me to my sisters one day and asked if he could use her phone while i was asleep during that time he called his parents and they got him flight out of town into another state in a heart beat and i remember taking him to the airport a few days later
he promised me he would save money for me and my little girl to go to california after several weeks past we talked and he was seeing someone else it broke my damn heart to the point where i did something i said as a addict that i would never do
but i started to use a needle with my drug of choice ran hard and heavy for several months until i lost of my so called friends
anyways gettitng to now i recently had to put my new boyfriend /sons father on a plane on the way to the airport i started to cry...it was like the past was coming back to me but this time we are both recoverying alkie and addicts we both have strong programs but at times i was having this fear of never seeing him again he would reasure me this isnt going to happen to us
with my post tramic stress and abandment issues it soared
but this time we talk all the time and planning on moving to be closer togehter but where the hell is the doubt coming from
i have to pray daily to have it lifted
from me
i dont want to lose another relationship this is different it isnt sick
and i have lost him before and not willing to lose him again
hugs mistee
Big kitty nose hugs
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Center of The World
Posts: 1,261
Mistee
It sounds like you may have a good foundation to start building a new kind of realtionship. How exciting! Maybe you could keep focusing on that element, and maybe the past will fade away. You have the opportunity to pick the kind and color of each brick, what you will use to put them together and how to place them in this new relationship. You could build a fortress that cannot crumble..you are learning the tools through your recovery program and so is he. You will be in my thoughts and i wish the best for you.
Love in spirit
Sky
It sounds like you may have a good foundation to start building a new kind of realtionship. How exciting! Maybe you could keep focusing on that element, and maybe the past will fade away. You have the opportunity to pick the kind and color of each brick, what you will use to put them together and how to place them in this new relationship. You could build a fortress that cannot crumble..you are learning the tools through your recovery program and so is he. You will be in my thoughts and i wish the best for you.
Love in spirit
Sky
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: oregon
Posts: 67
feeling better about
here is a week now since my new partner has been gone I am dealing with it alot better
we have talked about this problem or the fears i have he and i are totally both willing to walk thru this together
last wednesday after our son went to bed i was in the bathtub taking a nice hot bubble bath and to me that is the best time to seek help from my higher power even if others think its crazy
to me when i talk to my higher power in the tub i go to him /her in a humitlity and vulnerablity too.
I asked my higher power to take my new found relationship and deal with it cuz i am afraid if i handle it i will lose something that is good for me today and to take my fears of this issue to and told him not to let me take them back
i also had to call my shrink to about this on wed he said to increase my meds until i get to a more level or balanced sense of being ...
thursday morning i talked to my new boyfriend adn i shared with him what i did the nite before the funny thing is this he did the same as me but not in the bathtub we are no loinger handling the relationship we have but of course we are talking daily and moving forward
to help settle my fears down he wants me and his son to come to az next month so i am busy making arrangements to go be with him for a week maybe 2 that is what is giving me the strengh and courage to keep moving forward and getitng me out of the past fears i had before just being in a long distance relationship is hard but
if we do this right im sure higher power will make it so we can be together again when the time is right for it
so since we gave our relationship to a power greater then us we may have a chance to make it together some day we are growing more on a spiritual plane together and reuniting in a new sense we talk more on the interneet phone and i cant wait to see him again
he tells me he isnt going anywhere and wants to be in our sons life as well as mine
so with that i really dont have anything to fear now just being a hopeful spirit today
lets say god is doing for me what i cant do so myself
hugs mistee
we have talked about this problem or the fears i have he and i are totally both willing to walk thru this together
last wednesday after our son went to bed i was in the bathtub taking a nice hot bubble bath and to me that is the best time to seek help from my higher power even if others think its crazy
to me when i talk to my higher power in the tub i go to him /her in a humitlity and vulnerablity too.
I asked my higher power to take my new found relationship and deal with it cuz i am afraid if i handle it i will lose something that is good for me today and to take my fears of this issue to and told him not to let me take them back
i also had to call my shrink to about this on wed he said to increase my meds until i get to a more level or balanced sense of being ...
thursday morning i talked to my new boyfriend adn i shared with him what i did the nite before the funny thing is this he did the same as me but not in the bathtub we are no loinger handling the relationship we have but of course we are talking daily and moving forward
to help settle my fears down he wants me and his son to come to az next month so i am busy making arrangements to go be with him for a week maybe 2
that is what is giving me the strengh and courage to keep moving forward and getitng me out of the past fears i had before just being in a long distance relationship is hard but if we do this right im sure higher power will make it so we can be together again when the time is right for it
so since we gave our relationship to a power greater then us we may have a chance to make it together some day we are growing more on a spiritual plane together and reuniting in a new sense we talk more on the interneet phone and i cant wait to see him again
he tells me he isnt going anywhere and wants to be in our sons life as well as mine
so with that i really dont have anything to fear now just being a hopeful spirit today
lets say god is doing for me what i cant do so myself
hugs mistee
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