Continuing - Despite HUGE Stress
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 161
Continuing - Despite HUGE Stress
I'm just going to get this off my chest because I am alone and thinking...
I am at the end of my 8th day of sobriety and ironically as I approached work this week it was supposed to be an 'easier' week. I have loads of overtime I need to use so my plan was basically exercise, drink tons of water, work, and take it easy (maybe catch a matinee or two).
Then when I came back to work on Monday a major crisis snowballed with one of my staff who's 2 mos into the job. Things came to a head yesterday where the pre-disciplinary hearings have begun at work (for her). I sat through a meeting yesterday afternoon where I had to keep my mouth shut (before the meeting because she would launch into a take on my management) and take a huge amount of verbal abuse over something that is beyond my scope and control (if the boss's boss is upset - it's big - she took over the hearing due to legality issues). This situation has a fed a lot of my own insecurities and doubts - specifically could I loss my job because of her unprofessional behaviour at the office. I was told that it has nothing to do with me and it's soft skills (communication style/personality etc) and not worry about it. Plus I was instructed to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like me as this is what happens when you're a manager. So not to loss sleep over it.
Today is big trigger day I think. This is the day - my ex-boyfriend and I would go out for dinner then slowly drink the evening away. Just a preview to many weekends doing the exact same thing. I left my running gear at home so I ended up driving home and keeping focussed on - 'one day at a time'. So I guess that's all I have to do this weekend - that and stay busy with healthy stuff.
I pray my stress will be alleviated. I know booze will not solve my anxiety. I know getting back together with the ex will send me back into no man's land.
On a good note... I'm feeling physically (aside from sleep deprivation) and emotionally so much better. I am smiling easily. My skin is starting to clear up. I'm hoping to loss some of the 'booze' weight. Plus I am enjoying my evenings of reading, which I have always loved, except it's hard to do drunk, so really easy now. (Let me know if you can recommend any books???) It has been nice to spend some time with friends sober - ie. going for walks, drinking iced tea, and talking about a whole bunch of topics like lousy boyfriends, good movies, and Ikea.
My therapist has given me some homework this weekend - specifically focussing on what I need to do for myself to make a home. She has told me that I can call her any time (no charge) if things are bad. Fortunately I went to see her yesterday right after work for support.
Thanks for everyone posting on this site. I'm reading posts every day - twice a day. It's good to know I'm not alone even when I'm in cyber land.
I am at the end of my 8th day of sobriety and ironically as I approached work this week it was supposed to be an 'easier' week. I have loads of overtime I need to use so my plan was basically exercise, drink tons of water, work, and take it easy (maybe catch a matinee or two).
Then when I came back to work on Monday a major crisis snowballed with one of my staff who's 2 mos into the job. Things came to a head yesterday where the pre-disciplinary hearings have begun at work (for her). I sat through a meeting yesterday afternoon where I had to keep my mouth shut (before the meeting because she would launch into a take on my management) and take a huge amount of verbal abuse over something that is beyond my scope and control (if the boss's boss is upset - it's big - she took over the hearing due to legality issues). This situation has a fed a lot of my own insecurities and doubts - specifically could I loss my job because of her unprofessional behaviour at the office. I was told that it has nothing to do with me and it's soft skills (communication style/personality etc) and not worry about it. Plus I was instructed to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like me as this is what happens when you're a manager. So not to loss sleep over it.
Today is big trigger day I think. This is the day - my ex-boyfriend and I would go out for dinner then slowly drink the evening away. Just a preview to many weekends doing the exact same thing. I left my running gear at home so I ended up driving home and keeping focussed on - 'one day at a time'. So I guess that's all I have to do this weekend - that and stay busy with healthy stuff.
I pray my stress will be alleviated. I know booze will not solve my anxiety. I know getting back together with the ex will send me back into no man's land.
On a good note... I'm feeling physically (aside from sleep deprivation) and emotionally so much better. I am smiling easily. My skin is starting to clear up. I'm hoping to loss some of the 'booze' weight. Plus I am enjoying my evenings of reading, which I have always loved, except it's hard to do drunk, so really easy now. (Let me know if you can recommend any books???) It has been nice to spend some time with friends sober - ie. going for walks, drinking iced tea, and talking about a whole bunch of topics like lousy boyfriends, good movies, and Ikea.
My therapist has given me some homework this weekend - specifically focussing on what I need to do for myself to make a home. She has told me that I can call her any time (no charge) if things are bad. Fortunately I went to see her yesterday right after work for support.
Thanks for everyone posting on this site. I'm reading posts every day - twice a day. It's good to know I'm not alone even when I'm in cyber land.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: BK, NY
Posts: 41
What kind of books do you like? Inspirational/self-help stuff always comforts me: I like the author Wayne Dyer, although he doesn't talk extensively about addiction, he does mention he used to be an addict. I also like a book called "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lamott- it is about faith, but not in a direct in your face kind of way, moreso finding faith in the little moments. If you like poetry, Rainer Maria Rilke is awesome, especially his Book of Hours which are poems addressed to God in all types of emotional states. If you are into other genres, I could go on for days as I am a writer and a teacher of lit.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
It's great to se you again...For understanding alcoholism...I recommend...
"Under The influence"
and it's sequel
"Beyond The Influence"
they are carried by Amazon
This is interesting for early sobriety issues
link from my files on PAWS...
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
Congratulations on your sober time!
_________________
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
You kinda have to give us an idea of the genre of what you like to read if we are going to give you some ideas for books to read.
In the interim, you may wish to rent and watch "Diary of a mad black woman". It is all about recovery and overcoming. It has a good humour kinda feel to it, and is a very worthwhile movie.
Peace, Levi
In the interim, you may wish to rent and watch "Diary of a mad black woman". It is all about recovery and overcoming. It has a good humour kinda feel to it, and is a very worthwhile movie.
Peace, Levi
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