Ameliorater

Before I say anything else I’ll say this first, please don’t get me wrong, I love recovery. I love being clean, I love having a steady income, I love knowing where I am in the morning.
Now though, I’m finding it hard to find new things that I really enjoy as much as I did being loaded. I’m not thinking about using. No thinks I’ve got 16 + years clean and I’m not about to start back now. Still I’m at a place where I’ve begun to wonder, is this is all there is? I look at my neighbors here (I’ve moved from a big city to a small town) most of them are board and really don’t have anything to look forward to. I had at least a semblance of a life back home. There were some things to do. But here, No wonder they have one of the highest alcoholism rate in the nation here in this county.
I’ve accepted the challenge of building a new life I’ve got married made some new friends bought a house. Still there’s something missing. I realize that most of the things I found fun I found early in life. Is that it? Do we develop all out likes and loves in early childhood? I did discover writing as of late. However, it’s so isolating, I’d like to find something that I can do with people. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions.

BigSis

Sky Diving? River Rafting? Hiking... community choir/band ... drama (local theater) ... building stage sets ...volunteering (animal shelter/food bank/rehab/senior center/sheriff's office) ... help out at the schools ...

It doesn't sound like a recovery issue, so much as a life issue (to me). I like to look at my mom for inspiration... sober 26 years and just full of it....er, life, that is.

She retired 5 or 6 years ago and has spent every minute since "trying out" different activities... she took up tap dancing and jazz and performs with a senior group (top hats and tails...and the legs ain't bad)... she volunteers with the sherrif's office and goes out on archeological digs/evidence searches and does community service both to seniors on fraud and to the community at large as part of his Meth Watch program.

Over time, my tastes have changed... as have my desires and my goals. Sitting down and doing a reassessment, making a list of things I need and want and then getting into action and DOING some of them is something I've had to do a couple of times.

Since you write, have you maybe triggered some stuff that has been swimming around inside... and is that making you uncomfortable? I write (horror - imagine that) and am still surprised by the strength of some of the memories that are dredged up by my stories... in fact, maybe the stories come from the memories -but either way, it does make me uncomfortable in my own skin sometimes. You might see if there is a counselor or sponsor that you could talk to about that.

I wish you the best.

Anna

Have you thought of volunteering?

There are so many organizations that need help. It's so good to get outside of yourself and give back something and to be involved in something far bigger than yourself. Take a look around your community and see what you can offer.

brigid

I just don't have enough time in the day to tell you the truth. I would love to have a bit more, and life is great, except that I have to work on a bit of balance. Wow, there are so many things I want to do, really want to join a bushwalking group and do some major hikes .. later on maybe. Learn a sport, dance, instrument, language, take a writing course, the possibilities are endless. I am going to be busy till the day I die. Love Brigid

leviathon

I've struggled with this issue too... and having read the inspirational thoughts of BigSis and Anna and Brigid, I think my problem is me.... I am not trying to do new things and that will be my downfall. Boredom and my hands lead to trouble...

Thank you for the inspirational thoughts. Levi

fritolay

Partly true. You don't necessarily develop more likes and loves in early childhood, but you definately have more time to explore and nurture them. Rewind the clock to when you were 10 years old. What responsibilities did you have? You lived at home, ate your parent's food, and didn't work. You went to school and the rest of the time was spent setting fires in the alley, playing with GI Joes, and god knows what else. At 20, people often still live at home, go to college, and yet have all the time in the world to dream and do whatever suits their fancy. At 40, however, society expects you to grow up and "be responsible", basically cease having fun. You don't have to, of course, but that's the standard progression people make. I find accepting such things to be pathetic, lackluster, and most of all depressing. If there's something on your list you want to do, do it now. Don't wait until you're 65 and retired, because the chances of you enjoying the activity at that age are slim to none.

ASH

WOW, that is a bleak outlook.
There is lots to do at age 65 or at any age for that matter,
find what you like or love and dig in.

Sometimes I think we go searching for some larger than life
experience or grand passion like we see in the movies,
ie. car wrecks and James Bond type excitement,:uzi2:
when this is just not reality for a huge % of people.
Crashing cars, skydiving or
gardening and writing,
either end of the spectrum can be enjoyable.
Work and family are challanging and rewarding for many.

I have found I have to
find pleasure in whats at hand and quit searching for the holy grail.
Sometimes it really is all about your attitude and state of mind more so
than in what you are actually doing.

1Marty

I don't know what your spiritual background is. But this book helped me a bit.
http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/thebook.aspx

NoMoBeer

Do something crazy....

BECOME A TRIATHLETE!

Trust me, never a dull moment....:-)

Ken

spin721

I had to replace one habit with another...so I decided to start running and working out and all of that. When all the weight started dropping off...that became my new addiction. I was at 230...now I'm 195 and still working.

Exercise worked wonders for me.

Autumn

Oh boy Frito..... you'd better hope Music doesn't come along and see this!

Ameliorater: Live it up! You earned this stage in your sobriety! Wanna trade?

(j/k)