findingout

Hey friends,

Every so often questions come up here about social situations where people ask us about our not drinking. I had an experience yesterday that I think might be worth sharing. I was bowling with four other guys from work as part of team in a charity event. They were drinking beer (bowling == beer? ) but I was just drinking soda. About half way through the first game, one of the young turks popped the question. Here's the entire conversation:
That was it. No probing questions about why, no long hedging and/or honest answers about why, just a little curiosity and a straight response and it was over.

So what's the point? When I first got sober I feared this conversation and made up all kinds of complicated, embarrassing, worst case situations in my head. The point is that this was the first time in 3+ years that this conversation even happened and when it did, it was nothing. No big deal and not worth one minute of the time I spent worrying about it.

One Love, One Heart,
Tony

P.S. I bowled a 172 which is not going to get me on a professional tour anytime soon but was a personal high score for me drunk or sober.

Little Missy

Great game Tony!! I have had many embarassing moments drunk on the lanes!! Glad I don't have to do that anymore!!

You are right about how simple that line of questioning can be. It seems to only be a big deal if someone is like us, and wants to push the drink!!

Glad it worked out well!!
Missy

Dawn10

Great Tony! ( both game and response)
I too, find the simplest answer the best and usually it does the trick. Occasionally they want to know more then I can use Step #12 and share my E,S & H with them. I too feared the questions early in recovery, but now 7+ years later, it is part of who I am and no big deal.
Dawn

Music

Thanks Tony. Your conversation brings up the point that I'm really the only person(family excluded)who really gives a darn whether I drink or not. 99% or the people I'll come in contact with, couldn't care less.

Nice game. I'd probably hit a 172 if you factored my age into the score. Let's see.....9????

jpeace2

Good for you, Tony! I am in early recovery now and have avoided certain social events, not as much for the exposure to alcohol as for the "you used to drink more than half of us combined, what's with the soda" comments that I was SURE were going to come.....and the few times I did go somewhere with friends, nothing was really said. I do admit that my standard line is that I gave it up for health reasons, but that's absolutely not a lie.....it IS bad for your health, especially the way I used to drink. My last liver function studies were sketchy, so......that's all she wrote.

CarolD

I know xero on bowling...but...

you scored a 100 % on your share!!

Pick-a-name

My thought, exactly! As a non-A, THEIR reaction is what I have always found odd......why would THEY care if you drank or not and why would anyone care if they cared? What if it had been a fish sandwich, and you said, no thanks I don't like fish, am full, or any other thing that you could answer. I guess that may be a part of that "mental twist" or craving thing?

Actually, as a former-smoker (now THAT was a problem for me..haha) I understand what you are saying and the dynamics and all.

Tony: glad this all went so well for you....even your bowling score!

Peter

Well done Tony. That Red Stripe beer is pretty potent stuff btw.

One love, one heart. let's get together an' feel alright.

nutz

I remember My first year of recovery. My first family gathering or BQ.
There was a six pack of near beer in the cooler just for me..wtf????

I try not to make a big deal out of it or keep my annomimity
but during bussiness luncheons or company picknics and what
not. I get ask..the second question of WHY ???.lol

Then again...I see my co-workers draging thier arsses into work
and my bussiness associates act and behave like I used to.
FUTURE MEMBERS.lmaf

But now and then, someone will take notice to the little things.
"dude....how do u remain calm through all or some of the crap we go
through ?"
Me; " mmmm...on a good day, i go to the pisser lock the doors
and pray my ass off".lol

They think i'm joking or gone off my rockers or nutz of course.