Turtle

So I've realized I'm OK without the beer. I'm ok without getting the buzz. I'm NOT ok with having to deal with why I drank. There's no place to hide now, and I can't use my old "friend" to make everything go away. I have to come face to face with my fears, my pain, my low-self esteem, my hating of what I've become. Suddenly I have to care about my life again, because it won't be a blur that I can ignore at the end of the night. This is hard. I want to be strong and get through this. I guess I'm going to see what I'm made of, aren't I? *sigh*

Anna

Hi Turtle,

You're right, it's hard. And, like you, I found that stopping drinking was just the beginning. I had to take a hard look at myself and beliefs I had about myself and see things in a realistic way. Some of it, I liked and some of it, I didn't. But, at least it was me. You can get through this and you may be surprised and happy about what you find.

2dayzmuse

I'm glad you decided to poke your head out of your shell and take a look around. You have re-examined your life and have realized what it is you need to do. There is no reason to hide any longer. You can face the truth and get past it. We are living proof of that. Clean out the cobwebs of your past and you will begin to grow.

Mister7

Hey Turtle, What you have become is a sober person. Keep that up and I bet the other problems will be much easier to solve. I've only been sober 4 days and I already feel way more in control of my life. And I feel I can tackle some of my issues head-on. Be strong and take care.

Turtle

I'll be ok. I'm a strong person, well, I used to be, and I am going to be again. I like that I can come here and have people relate to how I feel, it makes me feel at home, and it gives me hope. Thank you.

AndrewBeen

Hey Turtle, I like the way you think.

Dan

Getting sober makes it hard to hide.
Painful at first.
But there we are.
It's a good thing.

Music

I was afraid too at first. But I realized that I was more afraid of who I was than who I might become. It was fear of the unknown. The important thing to remember is that you aren't alone. You aren't much different than anyone else here when it comes to what happened and what it was like. We aren't that unique. Once you start sharing, you'll be amazed at how many others have done the same things and feel the same way as you do. Working the steps of AA, or whatever method you use isn't easy but trust me, it'll pay off in ways you can't even imagine.

4health

GoodMorning turtle. I hear what you're going through and been through it. OR, still going through it. Realizing the things you did or didn't do are going to affect you now that the skies are clear. I too hated what I had become but you know what? You CAN change that!! That is the wonderful thing about sobriety. You can get better and improve your life. Good luck and don't be afraid. It just gets better!!

phoenixn

True enough! That is the REAL job we face in recovery. Good work! Keep it up.

AndrewBeen

I find reality to scary too and exhilarating. And I don' want it any other way.

Sobriety is another word for consciousness. Consciousness, full awareness, is one of the most terrifying and exhalting things.

Come on in, the water is fine. Turtle, untangle yourself from all that seaweed, you were born to swim with us in the sea.

CarolD

the 12 Steps of AA to be a vlueprint for joyously living in recovery.

Peter

Brilliant ,Turtle.

Finding out and understanding WHY we drank in the first place is an important cornrstone on which to build our recovery.

I found the Twelve Steps of AA and working with a sponsor extremely useful in helping me to accomplish and deal with this. There are also addiction counsellors around who can also help you if you wish to take a more professional approach.

Either way Good Luck.

Turtle

I'm doing ok for now.

I've started to think of my life as a big jigsaw puzzle. All the pieces of my life are scattered around everywhere ~ some pieces are in plain sight, some are hidden and I have to dig down deep to find them. After I find all the pieces, I need to put the puzzle together, and once I do that then my life will finally be in order. I'm sure along the way some pieces of the puzzle that I've put together will come apart, or get lost, and it's my responsibility to find them again. I don't think that my life puzzle will ever complete, the pieces of it will continually shift and have to be brought back to their correct place. But I will do whatever it takes to keep the puzzle as complete as possible.


in search of the next piece of the puzzle,
Turtle