Need Help understanding.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Stuck in my Head!!
Posts: 35
Need Help understanding.
I am confused and wondered if any one has insight? For as long as I can remember I have felt like it was imparative that I get high all the time. what I dont understand is, why. Everytime my life throws me a curve ball, my thought is that I need to drink or smoke in order to deal with the curve. I started drinking and smokin weed when I was young; 15 yrs old, and since thenm, everytime I have difficulties with myself or others I revert back to those learned habits. If there is anyone who has, or could direct me to someone who can educate me I would be very grateful. I am currently looking for a meeting here in CO. Thanks again.
nucldragr
nucldragr
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London
Posts: 501
I am not a doctor mate, but if I were to give a purely layman diagnosis I would say you are suffering from drug abuse/addiction/dependancy.
Which is very serious stuff, but can be effectively treated.
Maybe go to your local docs?
Which is very serious stuff, but can be effectively treated.
Maybe go to your local docs?
Been there and done.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Coast North America
Posts: 269
It is natural for any being to attempt eliminate pain as efficiently as possible. This is part of the instinct to survive. Unfortunately you (and I!) have found chemicals as a way of eliminating emotional pain. This is a problem, because the apparent instinct to survive will in fact lead to our deaths. As HUMAN beings we need to use our intellectual and spiritual strength to lead us out of the trap -- to truely survive and, with luck, to thrive.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by AndrewBeen
It is natural for any being to attempt eliminate pain as efficiently as possible. This is part of the instinct to survive. Unfortunately you (and I!) have found chemicals as a way of eliminating emotional pain. This is a problem, because the apparent instinct to survive will in fact lead to our deaths. As HUMAN beings we need to use our intellectual and spiritual strength to lead us out of the trap -- to truely survive and, with luck, to thrive.
That is a great perspective! And well written!
Nucldragr,
Welcome to SR and cool screen name!
Doorknob
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Hi again Nucl,
The way I think of it is that I made a habit of using chemicals as a coping mechanism long enough that my body eventually became dependent on them to feel normal. Hence mental and physical addiction. It's tough to get out of, but not impossible. There's much proof of that here!
Doorknob
The way I think of it is that I made a habit of using chemicals as a coping mechanism long enough that my body eventually became dependent on them to feel normal. Hence mental and physical addiction. It's tough to get out of, but not impossible. There's much proof of that here!
Doorknob
Free from Weed!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cali
Posts: 44
I was in the same boat but started smoking at 13. You can find my thread "just quit, need support" The pot is not helping you cope with problems its helping you hide from problems. I have been clean for a week now and everything is becoming clear to me now. Try to lay off the substances for a week to gain some perspective on who you are and who you wan't to be. Hopefully things will become clear to you as they have for me and you will see a clear path in life.
Its tough, its scary, but when your eyes are opened you'll see how worste off you were when using drugs. You'll see hope, you will see a better future and most of all you'll realize how much better you'll deal with pains and fustrations.
I laugh more, I do more, I enjoy the world more and its not as scary as I made it out to be. You are basically living in your own dream at the moment and you need to wake up, face reality, stand up for yourself, stop letting your false reality control your mind, realize you are stronger then you make yourself out to be. You can do it, I never thought I could but now that I'm clean I realize I was a weaker person when using. I now have the courage to face the world and the curveballs that come along with it. Each obstacle you make it past will make you a stronger person.
I will bump my thread up so you can see my struggles. Were here for "YOU" we wan't to help you break the cycle, feel free to come to us for any help or curveballs that you are having trouble coping with and we will help you find a clean way to get past them.
Good luck on your Journey friend!
Adam
Its tough, its scary, but when your eyes are opened you'll see how worste off you were when using drugs. You'll see hope, you will see a better future and most of all you'll realize how much better you'll deal with pains and fustrations.
I laugh more, I do more, I enjoy the world more and its not as scary as I made it out to be. You are basically living in your own dream at the moment and you need to wake up, face reality, stand up for yourself, stop letting your false reality control your mind, realize you are stronger then you make yourself out to be. You can do it, I never thought I could but now that I'm clean I realize I was a weaker person when using. I now have the courage to face the world and the curveballs that come along with it. Each obstacle you make it past will make you a stronger person.
I will bump my thread up so you can see my struggles. Were here for "YOU" we wan't to help you break the cycle, feel free to come to us for any help or curveballs that you are having trouble coping with and we will help you find a clean way to get past them.
Good luck on your Journey friend!
Adam
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Stuck in my Head!!
Posts: 35
Well Adam, I dont know if you even want me to start on my problems. But since you made the comment, I will give you a small taste. My addictions weren't that big of a problem until my Wonderful wife decided to step out on me; with my only brother. Then again with several other men. Now, I am in no way using that as my justification to get high, however that was when it got really bad. I did the AA thing a long time ago, but it didn't really reach me where I needed it to. I think a general recovery group would have been more appropiate then and now. That is what I am seeking now. I know that with my wife and I headed down the road to divorce that my problems may only get worse. I appreciate the feed back from all of you.
nucldragr
P.s. Adam. Most peeople dont even know what my screen name is or means. So, thank you for the compliment.
nucldragr
P.s. Adam. Most peeople dont even know what my screen name is or means. So, thank you for the compliment.
Free from Weed!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cali
Posts: 44
I am sorry about the spouse bro, I know exactly how you feel! My spouse had an affair last year 
I found out on christmas night!
It hurts a lot, I know. Talking about it is the best thing you can do! Pot will just make you depressed and puts you in that dream state again. You have to face the pain head on. Write a letter to her, say everything you wan't to tell her, cuss her out scream in the letter, let your emotions go in the letter. When your done writting, read back over the letter and then rip it up! Don't give it to her, it won't help anyone. This will help "you" release some anger and you might even find some emotions that you did'nt know you were holding in. If you'd like send me the letter or a close friend just so someone knows how you feel, its tough to take those situations on alone, I tried, then I found www.marriagebuilders.com It was A place where people could relate with me, it was a place to get out my frustrations. They led me here because of my addiction and life is looking a lot better then a few months ago.
Feel free to send me a PM or if you wan't to chat. Like I said talking is the best thing you can do. If you keep on venting eventually you'll have nothing left to vent about.
Were here for you man, stay strong,
Adam
I found out on christmas night!It hurts a lot, I know. Talking about it is the best thing you can do! Pot will just make you depressed and puts you in that dream state again. You have to face the pain head on. Write a letter to her, say everything you wan't to tell her, cuss her out scream in the letter, let your emotions go in the letter. When your done writting, read back over the letter and then rip it up! Don't give it to her, it won't help anyone. This will help "you" release some anger and you might even find some emotions that you did'nt know you were holding in. If you'd like send me the letter or a close friend just so someone knows how you feel, its tough to take those situations on alone, I tried, then I found www.marriagebuilders.com It was A place where people could relate with me, it was a place to get out my frustrations. They led me here because of my addiction and life is looking a lot better then a few months ago.
Feel free to send me a PM or if you wan't to chat. Like I said talking is the best thing you can do. If you keep on venting eventually you'll have nothing left to vent about.
Were here for you man, stay strong,
Adam
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
It gose beyound the drugs and alcohol abuse.
If the status eco was doing it, it would be the normal thing
to do. But hey like gradmama said "if everybody jumped of the
bridge, would you do it too? " Mmmmm.... to fit in ??? yeap!
It's freaken miller time or you need to take the edge off
after a hard day's work and crap like that.
If ma,pop, N uncle John came home everyday and soak a 12 pack
and you watched it as a child growing up.
What would be wrong with catching a BUZZ ???
Nutt'in....other than it makes you depress as hell and kills brains cells.
Not too healthy,but how the heck would you know if your brain cells
were dead AND cathing a BUZZ makes the depression goes away.
Yeah....that's it !!! a catch 22.lol
Will, lets say when you were a child and you lost something
important to you. And some adult figure told you that it wasn't okay
to cried or god would punish you or you're a ssisy..IF you're a boy.
And girl don't angery. And you lived like that
MMmmm..getting NUMB makes it easier for peaple not to process
their emotions or life as we find more clever ways not to deal with it
as we get older, not neccessary mature. (old ideas)
I got sheit faced when I got married.
I got sheit faced when I got a deviorced.
So lets just cut through the crap..
Honestly.....I love getting high more than I love my ex-wife & my child.
If the status eco was doing it, it would be the normal thing
to do. But hey like gradmama said "if everybody jumped of the
bridge, would you do it too? " Mmmmm.... to fit in ??? yeap!
It's freaken miller time or you need to take the edge off
after a hard day's work and crap like that.
If ma,pop, N uncle John came home everyday and soak a 12 pack
and you watched it as a child growing up.
What would be wrong with catching a BUZZ ???
Nutt'in....other than it makes you depress as hell and kills brains cells.
Not too healthy,but how the heck would you know if your brain cells
were dead AND cathing a BUZZ makes the depression goes away.
Yeah....that's it !!! a catch 22.lol
Will, lets say when you were a child and you lost something
important to you. And some adult figure told you that it wasn't okay
to cried or god would punish you or you're a ssisy..IF you're a boy.
And girl don't angery. And you lived like that
MMmmm..getting NUMB makes it easier for peaple not to process
their emotions or life as we find more clever ways not to deal with it
as we get older, not neccessary mature. (old ideas)
I got sheit faced when I got married.
I got sheit faced when I got a deviorced.
So lets just cut through the crap..
Honestly.....I love getting high more than I love my ex-wife & my child.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
I know smoking pot and drinking was how I dealt with "everything" too. I started a little later than you did (drinking to excess at 18, pot at 19) but that was my solution for over 17 years. I would suggest to you that being you started this behavior as, essentially, a child, you never learned any other ways to deal with life. I know I did it so long that I had forgotten any other ways to deal with anything, and it was REALLY hard to quit. I had to go through much drama before I found that I just couldn't live that way anymore. My personal recomendations to you would be to try to find a theripist to see. You might also see if there is a mens group that meets regularly. Sometimes theripists hold these, you can ask around. Usually there are 8-10 people, everyone kicks in $20 or so to pay for the theripist and the room and the discussion focuses on problems that men deal with. As someone also suggested, you might want to talk to a doctor about depression, however I will warn you that meds WILL NOT WORK if you continue to drink and smoke. In fact sometimes they can have the opposite effect, so make sure you are honest with your doc about your drug and alcohol use. If it's not too late, and from what you have shared it may be, you might want to try couples counciling. That's about all I have, sorry you are having such a rough time of it. Take care.
vitalsixthsense
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Frostburg, MD
Posts: 18
I decided when I was about 11 that I would be drinking for the rest of my life to handle things. First it was fun, then fun with problems, by the time I was 18 it was nothing but problems. When I quit taking the first drink, I did not get drunk. Smokin was addictive for me too, but I preferred the alcohol. Now I make an AA contact everyday. Usually sitting in a meeting. I am on Vacation in SC right now, and have averaged at least 2 meetings per day. I hope you can find lots of good ones in CO. So you can replace your alcoholism with the fellowship in AA.
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