decayingsinner

This is my fourth day being sober and it sucks so much!!! I just want to get drunk and chug down so many rum and cokes. This has been the first night free where I have off of work tomorrow and usually I would just start drinking now for the next 7 or 8 hours or until I passed out. It's going to be a rough night. I want to drink so bad?

doorknob

Hi Decaying,

I can sure relate to the feeling, but try thinking about it this way... How many days off have you wasted because you were hung over and sicker than sh*t? If you don't drink tonight, you will have all day tomorrow to get stuff done or go out and have fun or just enjoy the weather. I can't count how many times I have been hungover on a beautiful day. What a waste! Is there anything you can do tonight that would be fun and might distract you from obsessing about drinking?

Doorknob

historyteach

How about a meeting?
Here's the list of online meetings here at SR:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=59
You're in luck...this is tonights meeting!
"WEDNESDAY EVENING -
NEWCOMERS CHAT
Welcome meeting for the newcomer seeking answers to a variety of questions.
7pm Pacific/ 8pm Mtn./9pm Central/ 10pm Eastern
Alternating Chair: Chy "
Just for you! The newcomer!

And here's the official AA site. You can read from the Big Book here; and find a local face to face meeting.
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

Just remember WHY this is your fourth day being sober. Yea, it is hard. Anything worth while is hard. And btw, how hard has it been for you to be drunk? If it wasn't, I'm just thinking here, you wouldn't have quit for the four day, no?
Don't stop before the miracle happens!
DO something good for you! Others will be here soon to add some wisdom to what I've written....
Shalom!

FunWhenDrunk

I know exactly how you feel. This is my sober day #3 and I'm so anxious and upset that I haven't heard from some of my friends. I just know I did or said something horrible to them when drunk. I want to drink to make the pain go away -- but that's only a temporary feeling. Drinking again will just make me feel worse, will lead me to more bad decisions and behaviors so I'm not going to drink.

You can do it! You've made it this many days -- add another one!

Don W

Hey Decaying and Fun, I hope you hanging in there. The feeling your having is normal withdrawal. I'd suggest you talk to a doctor. There are new ways to help you get through the withdrawal. You might already know this but, your body has to adjust your chemical balance. I'm not sure of the technical explanation but, will give you the layman version. When drinking your body produces more chemicals one of them being dopamine. To offset this your body will make more receptors to except the excess.
When you stop drinking the receptors will disappear over time. However, until that time it is like having a bus load of kids and 1 ice cream cone. I hope this helps. Keep posting and hang in there. This is also a ggo place to rant and rave. Meetings will help but, there are many ways to get help. The trick is to choose something, and decide what you like later. Don W

Time4Me11

Hi there Decaying and Fun

Not enough can be said about Days Three and Four being the toughest early on...If you can get through this period you will be feeling much relief. Its at least worth finding out what is on the other side of this.

decayingsinner

I hate to say this, but today I lost. I hope tomorrow I can get back on track. This is harder than I thought.

michski

Staying sober during the first 6 months was, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life! But there just aren't words for the sense of achievment and confidence I feel now. My life is so good and my friends are so good and my bills are paid and finally I really know what it feels like to have my head screwed on straight! I'll never forget how hard it was and that's what keeps me from picking up again. Hopefully you can white knuckle it through those first few really awful weeks by going to lots of meetings and sticking close to the winners.

Chy

You guy's hang in there! The discomfort you feel now will eventually subside and you'll realize you've done the right thing.

Don W

You have to think on the positive side. You didn't drink for 3 days. That means you know how to stop. Now work on staying stopped. I'm not sure of your situation but, can you check into a program. There are many available. If your a Veteran like myself the VA can help. There are also ways to get into programs. Sadly, you have to be a little tricky at times. I've been in programs even without insurance. Hospitals can except patients and get reimbursed by states etc. I know many, myself included, that have gone to the ER of a hospital. Once there don't sign yourself out no matter what they say. Tell them you need a program. I have found programs help get you started. They will help you build a foundation and prepair you for problems. They range 20 to 30 days in most cases. The VA is that way. You have to be able to get around the rules. I work for a hospital and know how it works. I understand about the honesty part of some programs but, these are facts. In any case consulting with a doctor will make the process safe. Depending on the amount and length of drinking withdrawal can be dangerous. Believe it or not alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs to come off of. Don W

RJwantstolive

I wanted to chime in and say that one thing I had tried out was making a list of weaknesses and positive points. You make one sentence of a negative part of yourself and then apply an opposite that contradicts the negative with something positive about yourself. Pessimism is too easy to dwell on. Doing a self checklist takes honesty.

I did this kind of list a week after my incident. I look at it now and see that the positives are more important to me. The feelings from drinking are false positives with usually negative consequences for many. I was the type of drinker who could hold out for large amounts of time, most was 19 months for example, but when I did drink it was to oblivion and I would pay the price one way or another and being on medicines this made things not good at all. Plus the medicines would be inactive for 4 weeks even after one binge, like I wasn't on any. This makes me a believer that alcohol is extremely powerful in canceling out certain medications to where you have to go through the whole cycle of rebuilding them back up to get back to where you were before the drink.

I wish you, and everyone, the best in fighting this battle. Things will restore themselves.

quercusalba

Decaying & Fun -

I'll add to what others have said by agreeing that the first week - *particularly* days 3 & 4 for some reason - are really, really hard to get past. I stumbled over those barriers a number of times before I got it right, and I am still not drinking day by day, moment by moment. It really, really does get easier. It will probably never be a breeze all the time, but you will have moments when you won't even think about drinking... and eventually, you'll have days, weeks, months without thinking about it! I do think that you will forever have to guard your thoughts and behaviors with reference to alcohol, but it won't be right there at the front of your mind if you can get past these early weeks. It's very difficult, but it's very worthwhile. You can do this! Get some plans in place, whether that's reading AA literature, going to meetings (very much recommended!), participating in LifeRing (www.unhooked.com), pursuing Smart Recovery (www.smartrecovery.org)... just have a plan. If you can garner the support of friends and family - or, ideally, other recovering alcoholics - you will have the help you need when you find yourself in difficult moments.

I wish you both strength and courage.
--anne

CarolD

please do not quit trying. Next time might be the winner for you.

AA is a good way to find support and understanding.

Don W

To those that are struggling. Don't give up. Everything in life takes practice. You didn't jump on a bike and ride. The biggest part of the battle is showing a desire. You've done that. Keep sharing and posting. We can help with support and encouragement. There is no easy way. Believe me I and many before us sought one.
What has helped me this time around is having an open mind and not setting a list of things I'm not going to do. The only thing on your "not do" list should be drink or substitue. Also, don't be hard on yourself. We are our own worst enemy at times. Trying to do better for your self is a very positive step. You wouldn't frown on myself or others here for having a hard time. We are one when fighting addiction. Go to any lengths to stay sober. We need you and others like you to help us also. You've already helped me by reminding me of my own struggle the first few weeks. I never want to have to do it again. Like Carol mentioned. Every moment not drinking is equity in your recovery. Don W

progress

Hi decaying sinner. Carol is absolutely right. I've been trying to quit since a couple of extremely shame-inducing blackouts I suffered in January. God willing, I think this time I am getting it right. Don't give up; there really is a way out.

Don W

wild, I'm glad you are still trying. It is important for the new people and everyone to hear you story of struggle and not giving up. I also went awhile before this time it working. I came around back in 1980. After about 7 or 8 programs and in and out of the VA Hospital, I've got just about 2 years now. It gets to the point I started to believe friends and family that I was a hopeless case. Aren't those blackout terrible?
My wife would be so ashamed and I would fluff it off. I'd come out of black out at home or on a bus having lost control and crapped my pants. One time I went to a restaurant we always went to not knowing I'd split my head open. Then couldn'tunderstand why my wife never wanted to go there again. I'm pretty sure I remember you being on SR before. Glad your back. No matter how bad it gets recovery is worth it. Don W