CDr55

Well, I have been making progress. I have had two four day stints. Unfortunately, after the second one, I chose to dial a friend. I was drunker than ever, talking on the phone with no recollection of what I was saying. My friend just wanted to come over and give me a hug. Unfortunately, she got lost on the way here, and I was so beyond drunk that I told her not to come here. She ended up getting lost, and drove all over the place. As it turns out, she did not end up getting home until very late.

Well, she called me tonight. I was sitting at Starbucks sober. She was very pissed, and said that when I am drunk, I am a self centered *******. She also said that she needs at least a week before she can see me again. She said so many bad things about me, and I agree. She told me that if I ever call her again drunk, that is officially the end of our friendship. I told her, that I understand, and it is to be expected.

What an asswipe I was. I thought that I was doing well, but somehow I managed to screw up once again. I am hopeless.

Cathy31

yOU'RE not hopeless. "We have ALL done things that we are deeply ashamed of especially PARTICULARLY to the people we love! I find going to aa and working the program has REALLY helped me to make up for a lot and my relationships are so much better now. Try and show your friend and yourself that you are sorry by really trying to stay sober = 4 days twice is really good - I find that trying to do it on my own is just too, too hard. Good luck = you are NOT hopeless! pray about it and ask God to help you to take away the obsession of drink - it eventually happens, but we gotta work at it - and we gotta work at ASKING for it, too. I ask every day not just to say sober, but for God to remove my obsession with alcohol. It's does happen!
good luck, cdr55, thinking of you sorry you are so down.
love
Cathy31
x

Peter

"How our drunkenness affects other people"

Good topic.As a member of the human race interacting on a daily basis with dozens of people, there are literally hundreds of ways I can potentially cause harm to others, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

When I ingest alcohol I compound this equation a hundredfold.

For many years I fiercly defended my right to drink by saying: "The only person I am harming is myself...." Not true.

I have learned that even the most passive drunk will often cause great emotional harm to friends and loved ones.

Passive drunks often forget to call and will sometimes overlook important clues in everyday relationships.

I once saw a little boy trying to wake his father who had passed out at a party and I am only now coming to understand how psychologically harming this can be.It is a subtle form of abandonment.

If even the so called "amiable drunk" can cause this kind of harm then what about the not so passive drunk.

I was the latter type and I know I left a wake of physical and emotional damage behind me.

Yeah, cdr55 you might have been an asswipe but the situation is not "hopeless."

Tell your friend you are sorry but more importantly than that,show her by changing your behaviour.

There is no forgiveness in sorry........true forgiveness will come when we change our ways.....

CarolD

Yes...I remember those 'black cord fever' times.

Mother hung up on me and then unplug the phone.
My son and his family turned the ringer off at midnight.

I felt so ashamed.

However..that was the old active alcoholic me.

I found hope in AA..and I quit drinking. This can happen for you too!

CAPTAINZING2000

One thing i didn't see or over looked on here, call b 4 u drink. That's how this works. No sense of calling the fire dept. when, the buildings already burnt to the ground.

There's a running joke people post on here all the time about drinking makes people think someone wants to talk on the phone with them when they can't complete an intelligent converstaion. Try putting a tape recorder next to your telephone the next time you call someone. You'll see what I mean. Some pictures of me drunk at a party is all the proof I need of where this takes me

Make amends to your friend. Good friends are hard to find. Call before drinking next time. Do you know what your triggers are? What's the root cause of getting $hitfaced and calling up your friend??

CDr55

Thanks Cathy! I have been praying a bit lately. I've always prayed that I could stop drinking, but I never thought of praying to have the obsession taken away. I'm now trying to pray for this everyday. Things are better with my friend, and she is starting to come around. I guess I just have to realize that I cannot think of myself as hopeless just on account of a night out.

Thanks again for all of your guy's advice.

sunshinebluesky

you are only hopeless if you WANT to be

tyler

You are not hopeless. You may feel hopeless, but there is a big difference.

Peace,

Tyler

3legacy

(((((((((CDr55))))))))
I was hopeless, "seemingly" and from my own perspective of things. Then, I found Alcoholics Anonymous and met others once as seemingly hopeless as myself. They had found a way out and that gave me a flicker of initial HOPE. There I learned how to apply their solution to my personal drinking dilemma. The flicker of Hope they gave me turned into a belief that maybe their solution would also work for me as I began giving it an honest try. It did and the belief has now turned into a firm Faith for me personally.

(((((((CDr55))))))))
Keeping you in thoughts and prayers & I have hope for you as well.
3 Legacy

BikerBill8

cdr55, If anyone calls me up drunk i will hang up on them you can't he them when there are drunk. I would tell them to call me when there are sober then we can talk with a clear mind. Stay sobr one day at a time.

Suomi Poika

CRr55,

Sometimes the recollection of the phone calls is painful and embarassing.

Sometimes, when we look back, the phone episodes are worth a chuckle.

Here is a thread from a few months ago that you might find of interest:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ferrerid=14155

It is time to call my brother to see if we are both sober.

Have a great day.

Toivo

Richey

I used to call people up and yell at them and cry...then threaten suicide if they yelled back...I've even passed out whilst on the phone and had a friend call emergency services on me :/
phones are baaaaaad things to go near when you're drunk. Especially worse are cell phones when you fall asleep leaving a message and ring up a several hundred pound bill for leaving silence on your friends phone :/