I am really fighting this
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Posts: n/a
I am really fighting this
Bare with me I am new at this.
I am really fighting a war that is going on in my head tonight. To drink or not to drink is the debate that seems to be going on, I have tried to distract myself, I tried reading a book, I took a short walk and I tried laying on my bed and staring at the walls. But nothing seems to shut this voice in my head up. The baseball game is starting on TV and I want to drink a beer. Then a minute later I don't because I really want to quit this habit I have formed.
God, it is driving my nuts. I guess I must be making progress because by now I would have had two or three beers finished. I guess I am winning the fight so far but I am starting to lose my resolve. I have self control in many areas of my life but this alcohol thing is really starting to bother me.
How do you stop the voice in your head from suggesting to get a beer? It won't stop.
Thanks for being there for me because if I didn't find this site I feel certain I would have drank by now. I am trying to make it through the weekend without drinking for the first time in, I really can't remember when.
Al
I am really fighting a war that is going on in my head tonight. To drink or not to drink is the debate that seems to be going on, I have tried to distract myself, I tried reading a book, I took a short walk and I tried laying on my bed and staring at the walls. But nothing seems to shut this voice in my head up. The baseball game is starting on TV and I want to drink a beer. Then a minute later I don't because I really want to quit this habit I have formed.
God, it is driving my nuts. I guess I must be making progress because by now I would have had two or three beers finished. I guess I am winning the fight so far but I am starting to lose my resolve. I have self control in many areas of my life but this alcohol thing is really starting to bother me.
How do you stop the voice in your head from suggesting to get a beer? It won't stop.
Thanks for being there for me because if I didn't find this site I feel certain I would have drank by now. I am trying to make it through the weekend without drinking for the first time in, I really can't remember when.
Al
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 79
Hi Al,
Have you ever gotten so completely, obliterated black-out drunk that you wake up at 2 am puking and shaking, swearing you'll never touch another drink - only to crawl to the store at 7am to get one? Have you ever ended up in the hospital with doctors and nurses tsk-tsking at you because you're an alcoholic? Have you almost set your house on fire in a drunk?
I have done all of those things - and the memories are what is keeping me sober tonight. Maybe if you have some terrible drunk memories, bringing them into mind will push out the thought of a beer.
Meanwhile, instead of staying home and watching a baseball game, how about getting out with people - a nice friendly softball game of your own, or go catch a movie, or get dinner in a restaurant. No beer allowed!
Good luck, Al. This isn't an easy journey, but it is sooooo worth it!
Have you ever gotten so completely, obliterated black-out drunk that you wake up at 2 am puking and shaking, swearing you'll never touch another drink - only to crawl to the store at 7am to get one? Have you ever ended up in the hospital with doctors and nurses tsk-tsking at you because you're an alcoholic? Have you almost set your house on fire in a drunk?
I have done all of those things - and the memories are what is keeping me sober tonight. Maybe if you have some terrible drunk memories, bringing them into mind will push out the thought of a beer.
Meanwhile, instead of staying home and watching a baseball game, how about getting out with people - a nice friendly softball game of your own, or go catch a movie, or get dinner in a restaurant. No beer allowed!
Good luck, Al. This isn't an easy journey, but it is sooooo worth it!
Paused
Join Date: May 2002
Location: la,ca
Posts: 7
That is exactly perhaps my biggest problem as far as remaining sober. I don't have any bad memories related to alcohol. I have never been in any trouble, either legal or work/school or family/friends personal trouble, of any kind, related to alcohol. Not saying i have had a perfect life, far from it, but none of the problems can be traced to alcohol since they were there long before i touched alcohol.
this is exactly why after a couple wks of sobriety i start thinking "what the hell".
then i drink seven or eight beers, and half the time i will pour the rest down the drain, or i will drink the rest the next day, get more and then pour about eight of that second 12 pack down the drain, swear it off again, get through the first few days, which are the hardest, hit two weeks, and then drink again. this has been going on for six months and i am getting really sick of it.
this is exactly why after a couple wks of sobriety i start thinking "what the hell".
then i drink seven or eight beers, and half the time i will pour the rest down the drain, or i will drink the rest the next day, get more and then pour about eight of that second 12 pack down the drain, swear it off again, get through the first few days, which are the hardest, hit two weeks, and then drink again. this has been going on for six months and i am getting really sick of it.
Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Pasadena, CA United States
Posts: 18
Hey Al. For me the benefits of drinking were very short-term, while the benefits of not using are much more long-term. I used to think of how tougher it would be by giving into the urges. Also, when I didn't give into urges, I felt so empowered. I'll bet tomorrow you'll feel good about not drinking.
For what its worth, here is a method some people find helpful in dealing with urges.
DISARM
(DestructIve Self-talk Awareness and Refusal Method)
WHAT IT IS: DISARM is a tool which exposes the self-talk and images which tell us to use, as lies, excuses, and rationalizations. It challenges those urge-producing thoughts at every opportunity, shooting them down like a gunslinger or reducing them to the point of absurdity. All humans, not just humans with substance abuse problems, have thoughts, urges, or other impulses, which, if followed, would harm their long-term interests. Realizing the power of what we think/believe about our strong urges to use and changing distorted thinking is crucial to success. Indeed, the trouble with a philosophy of 'Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die' is that tomorrow comes and we aren't dead! So, we are wise to first make ourselves aware of our destructive self-talk (thinking that is contrary to our long-term interests) and then refuse to go along with it. While we cannot will ourselves not to have certain thoughts or feelings, including strong urges, we can learn how to recognize that there are actually thoughts driving our urges and how to refuse to go along with them. We can learn to DISARM them. Then we can walk away from the situation or get ourselves involved with something other than focusing on our urge to use.
WHEN IT IS USED: When a person indicates that he/she has been having strong urges -- whether or not he/she given in to them.
Ask and answer the following questions:
1. Question: Do I have to give in to the urge because it is intense and hard to resist?
Answer: No, I don't have to give in. Because the urge is strong, it would be easy to give in, but I don't HAVE TO. I have had urges that I did not give in to, therefore it must be possible to resist.
2. Question: Will it be awful to deny myself by not giving into the urge?
Answer: No, it won't be awful. It may be quite unpleasant, but unpleasant is not awful, it's just unpleasant. If I don't give in to the urge, it will get weaker and come less frequently. If I do give in, the urge will stay strong, be harder to resist next time and show up more frequently.
3. Question: Is it really unbearable not to give into this urge?
Answer: I don't like the way it feels to deny my urge, but since it doesn't kill me not to give in, I can keep on resisting. (Remember, individuals drinking large amounts of alcohol may need to go to a detox center when they first stop because the sudden end of alcohol really could be injurious.)
4. Question: Am I somehow entitled to be able to give up using without strong urges to go back to using?
Answer: No! I don't have a note from God, my mother, SMART Recovery group members or anyone else which entitles me not to have strong urges to use. It may be unpleasant to resist some of my urges, but no one gave me a 'get out of unpleasantness free' card.
The DISARM method allows the individual experiencing the craving to carefully and rationally answer a few key questions. The results will help the individual to understand that the urge truly can be overcome, and that as success is experienced, the urges will be less strong and will occur less frequently.
DISARMING the 'ENEMY'
Some people find it helpful to use a technique to dissociate yourself from the voice inside each of us which says, 'It's a good idea to do something self-destructive.' It is a game you can play with yourself which might help you to:
( a) identify the specific thoughts which, if followed, would lead to using when you have already decided that, in the long term, this choice is not for you, and (b) steadfastly refuse to go along with this thinking no matter how attractive it might seem. Instead of talking yourself into lapsing you can develop powerful countering and coping statements. To do this, it may help to invent and personify an 'enemy' who lives in your mind, and whose only purpose is to get you to use. The Enemy (your alter ego)knows you well, and can change form to take advantage of your weakest moments. Name your enemy (i.e., salesman, gangster, diplomat, bad cop). When urges come, ask yourself, 'What is s/he telling me now? How is s/he trying to trick me?
When thoughts are identified:
1. Without debate, ATTACK the enemy with powerful counter statements: 'Nice try, jerk. You can't fool me!' You can be as aggressive or profane as your nature allows with the Enemy - after all, s/he is trying to screw up your life.
2. Then quickly FOCUS on some other thoughts, images, or activities which are consistent with what you want in the long run and inconsistent with what the Enemy is saying. The Enemy then looses his power and fades away.
Later on, you can submit the Enemy's tricks to an ABC analysis in order to dispute them. You usually discover irrational themes and patterns to the thoughts and arguments the Enemy throws at you. While coping statements alone will often work, it is important not to omit disputing. If your coping statements aren't working, it is because you don't believe them as strongly as you believe the Enemy. Through disputing we can develop powerful coping statements you fully believe for use in the future. Through actually resisting the Enemy's suggestions, you become increasingly better at doing it.
For what its worth, here is a method some people find helpful in dealing with urges.
DISARM
(DestructIve Self-talk Awareness and Refusal Method)
WHAT IT IS: DISARM is a tool which exposes the self-talk and images which tell us to use, as lies, excuses, and rationalizations. It challenges those urge-producing thoughts at every opportunity, shooting them down like a gunslinger or reducing them to the point of absurdity. All humans, not just humans with substance abuse problems, have thoughts, urges, or other impulses, which, if followed, would harm their long-term interests. Realizing the power of what we think/believe about our strong urges to use and changing distorted thinking is crucial to success. Indeed, the trouble with a philosophy of 'Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die' is that tomorrow comes and we aren't dead! So, we are wise to first make ourselves aware of our destructive self-talk (thinking that is contrary to our long-term interests) and then refuse to go along with it. While we cannot will ourselves not to have certain thoughts or feelings, including strong urges, we can learn how to recognize that there are actually thoughts driving our urges and how to refuse to go along with them. We can learn to DISARM them. Then we can walk away from the situation or get ourselves involved with something other than focusing on our urge to use.
WHEN IT IS USED: When a person indicates that he/she has been having strong urges -- whether or not he/she given in to them.
Ask and answer the following questions:
1. Question: Do I have to give in to the urge because it is intense and hard to resist?
Answer: No, I don't have to give in. Because the urge is strong, it would be easy to give in, but I don't HAVE TO. I have had urges that I did not give in to, therefore it must be possible to resist.
2. Question: Will it be awful to deny myself by not giving into the urge?
Answer: No, it won't be awful. It may be quite unpleasant, but unpleasant is not awful, it's just unpleasant. If I don't give in to the urge, it will get weaker and come less frequently. If I do give in, the urge will stay strong, be harder to resist next time and show up more frequently.
3. Question: Is it really unbearable not to give into this urge?
Answer: I don't like the way it feels to deny my urge, but since it doesn't kill me not to give in, I can keep on resisting. (Remember, individuals drinking large amounts of alcohol may need to go to a detox center when they first stop because the sudden end of alcohol really could be injurious.)
4. Question: Am I somehow entitled to be able to give up using without strong urges to go back to using?
Answer: No! I don't have a note from God, my mother, SMART Recovery group members or anyone else which entitles me not to have strong urges to use. It may be unpleasant to resist some of my urges, but no one gave me a 'get out of unpleasantness free' card.
The DISARM method allows the individual experiencing the craving to carefully and rationally answer a few key questions. The results will help the individual to understand that the urge truly can be overcome, and that as success is experienced, the urges will be less strong and will occur less frequently.
DISARMING the 'ENEMY'
Some people find it helpful to use a technique to dissociate yourself from the voice inside each of us which says, 'It's a good idea to do something self-destructive.' It is a game you can play with yourself which might help you to:
( a) identify the specific thoughts which, if followed, would lead to using when you have already decided that, in the long term, this choice is not for you, and (b) steadfastly refuse to go along with this thinking no matter how attractive it might seem. Instead of talking yourself into lapsing you can develop powerful countering and coping statements. To do this, it may help to invent and personify an 'enemy' who lives in your mind, and whose only purpose is to get you to use. The Enemy (your alter ego)knows you well, and can change form to take advantage of your weakest moments. Name your enemy (i.e., salesman, gangster, diplomat, bad cop). When urges come, ask yourself, 'What is s/he telling me now? How is s/he trying to trick me?
When thoughts are identified:
1. Without debate, ATTACK the enemy with powerful counter statements: 'Nice try, jerk. You can't fool me!' You can be as aggressive or profane as your nature allows with the Enemy - after all, s/he is trying to screw up your life.
2. Then quickly FOCUS on some other thoughts, images, or activities which are consistent with what you want in the long run and inconsistent with what the Enemy is saying. The Enemy then looses his power and fades away.
Later on, you can submit the Enemy's tricks to an ABC analysis in order to dispute them. You usually discover irrational themes and patterns to the thoughts and arguments the Enemy throws at you. While coping statements alone will often work, it is important not to omit disputing. If your coping statements aren't working, it is because you don't believe them as strongly as you believe the Enemy. Through disputing we can develop powerful coping statements you fully believe for use in the future. Through actually resisting the Enemy's suggestions, you become increasingly better at doing it.
Guest
Posts: n/a
I made it through a Saturday evening without a drink of alcohol! My baseball team blew the game in the ninth 2-1 but it was a good game. I searched the web on the following sites: smartrecovery.org, rational.org, aa.org
Locoverde, thanks for the info you have posted, reading the stuff made sense to me.
SylvryMoon, I am not interested in constantly reminding myself of stupid things I did while intoxicated because when I do so I also remember some really fun times and that prompts me to want to drink again, and I hate that feeling of rehashing stupidity.
Quitter, I did the crash course on AVRT last night, and WOW that really hit home. I could relate to everything that was written, at first it seemed kind of corny but after going through the couse a few times, I finally got the message, I think. I was able to recognize that voice in my head that was trying to get me to go to the store for a six pack as what keeps me drinking against my better judgement. What a concept.
Well I did visit the AA site also and I plan on going to an AA meeting, I called the local number for AA in the phone book and talked to someone named Fritz, he told my how he has 22 years of sobriety and how he lives his life one day at a time. He also told me he would have someone contact me and take me to a AA meeting, I refused that approach. I did get the directions to a meeting in a little town about 45 minutes away, I plan on checking that out tonight if I can but I'm not real keen on going to a meeting for this problem.
The AVRT thing makes sense to me and I didn't drink last night so I may be on my way to making it through the whole weekend with alcohol.
SMART is pretty much common sense stuff, and maybe I do need to learn better self control when it comes to alcohol.
I went to church this morning for the first time without a little hangover, and today was Pentecost. That is where the Holy Spirit comes down upon the apostles. Maybe this was a sign or something because I feel at peace for finally doing something about this alcohol habit.
One thing that sticks in my mind from the AVRT course, the word never. When I say never I get this instant reply of self talk, that says, how can you be sure?
I did see they had a discussion board on the rational.org site but reading through some of the posts was kind of tough, the posters seemed to do a lot of negative posting about AA or what they called 12 step, some even refered to AA as a cult?
I am a big boy I'll check out AA on my own and make my own decisions, but right now I am just excited that I made it through last night.
Thanks for reading my swill,
Al
Locoverde, thanks for the info you have posted, reading the stuff made sense to me.
SylvryMoon, I am not interested in constantly reminding myself of stupid things I did while intoxicated because when I do so I also remember some really fun times and that prompts me to want to drink again, and I hate that feeling of rehashing stupidity.
Quitter, I did the crash course on AVRT last night, and WOW that really hit home. I could relate to everything that was written, at first it seemed kind of corny but after going through the couse a few times, I finally got the message, I think. I was able to recognize that voice in my head that was trying to get me to go to the store for a six pack as what keeps me drinking against my better judgement. What a concept.
Well I did visit the AA site also and I plan on going to an AA meeting, I called the local number for AA in the phone book and talked to someone named Fritz, he told my how he has 22 years of sobriety and how he lives his life one day at a time. He also told me he would have someone contact me and take me to a AA meeting, I refused that approach. I did get the directions to a meeting in a little town about 45 minutes away, I plan on checking that out tonight if I can but I'm not real keen on going to a meeting for this problem.
The AVRT thing makes sense to me and I didn't drink last night so I may be on my way to making it through the whole weekend with alcohol.
SMART is pretty much common sense stuff, and maybe I do need to learn better self control when it comes to alcohol.
I went to church this morning for the first time without a little hangover, and today was Pentecost. That is where the Holy Spirit comes down upon the apostles. Maybe this was a sign or something because I feel at peace for finally doing something about this alcohol habit.
One thing that sticks in my mind from the AVRT course, the word never. When I say never I get this instant reply of self talk, that says, how can you be sure?
I did see they had a discussion board on the rational.org site but reading through some of the posts was kind of tough, the posters seemed to do a lot of negative posting about AA or what they called 12 step, some even refered to AA as a cult?
I am a big boy I'll check out AA on my own and make my own decisions, but right now I am just excited that I made it through last night.
Thanks for reading my swill,
Al
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