The big picture
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: England
Posts: 108
The big picture
It seemed until a couple of days ago that my race was about run, a set of classic symptoms and a history of heavy drinking suggested that I had cancer of the oesophagus, my doctor thought so and so did I. It now appears that I have a second chance, tho I wont know for sure for another few days.
It has been the most terrifying period of my life, to suddenly see so clearly all that I was going to throw away because of booze. To have to think about leaving my wife on her own, a mortgage to pay etc, etc. Not to see my kids continue to grow up, marry, have kids of their own and a whole heap of other regrets.
I posted some weeks ago that I wish that there could be a simple clear path to follow that would help me move forward, that quiet prayer / wish was answered. I have stood on the edge of the abyss and looked in, I have seen, smelt, tasted and felt what it will be like to step into it. Its not my time.
I am grateful that I know now with an absolute certainty that I will never drink again. We struggle so hard with this awful addiction, mainly in the mind, but when you are faced with such a situation, all of that self doubt and rubbish that we allow to get in the way of moving forward evaporates. Staying alive is all that matters.
As a drinker I did not worry about the consequences of my habit, as long as I had a drink today, I would deal with the consequences tomorrow, eventually tomorrow comes around.
Today I am probably the most content individual on the planet, I have seen the big picture, I know that what I have today is priceless and must be cherished and valued, for today is all I have for certain.
I you are in any doubt about quitting, find your resolve crumbling, tiptoe to the edge of the abyss and look over the edge.
This site has been so valuable for me.
Thanks to all.
God Bless
Pete
It has been the most terrifying period of my life, to suddenly see so clearly all that I was going to throw away because of booze. To have to think about leaving my wife on her own, a mortgage to pay etc, etc. Not to see my kids continue to grow up, marry, have kids of their own and a whole heap of other regrets.
I posted some weeks ago that I wish that there could be a simple clear path to follow that would help me move forward, that quiet prayer / wish was answered. I have stood on the edge of the abyss and looked in, I have seen, smelt, tasted and felt what it will be like to step into it. Its not my time.
I am grateful that I know now with an absolute certainty that I will never drink again. We struggle so hard with this awful addiction, mainly in the mind, but when you are faced with such a situation, all of that self doubt and rubbish that we allow to get in the way of moving forward evaporates. Staying alive is all that matters.
As a drinker I did not worry about the consequences of my habit, as long as I had a drink today, I would deal with the consequences tomorrow, eventually tomorrow comes around.
Today I am probably the most content individual on the planet, I have seen the big picture, I know that what I have today is priceless and must be cherished and valued, for today is all I have for certain.
I you are in any doubt about quitting, find your resolve crumbling, tiptoe to the edge of the abyss and look over the edge.
This site has been so valuable for me.
Thanks to all.
God Bless
Pete
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Originally Posted by icecream pete
As a drinker I did not worry about the consequences of my habit, as long as I had a drink today, I would deal with the consequences tomorrow, eventually tomorrow comes around.
(((((Pete))))))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 628
Staying alive is all that matters.
As a drinker I did not worry about the consequences of my habit, as long as I had a drink today, I would deal with the consequences tomorrow, eventually tomorrow comes around.
As a drinker I did not worry about the consequences of my habit, as long as I had a drink today, I would deal with the consequences tomorrow, eventually tomorrow comes around.
I am so with you on this. We're a lucky pair!
Val
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: England
Posts: 108
Thanks for all your support guys. Were I am today is exactly where I am meant to be, all of the past has brought me to this point, and bizzar though it seems, I am eternally grateful.
Take care of yourselves, each other and those who matter to you most.
God bless,
Pete
Take care of yourselves, each other and those who matter to you most.
God bless,
Pete
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