Forgiveness
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Daegu, South Korea
Posts: 3
Forgiveness
Back on the forum again. Thought I didn't need it. Boy was I wrong.
I don't really have cravings, but when I binge, I binge hard. It is getting to the point where I am becoming a totally different person than who I want to be. I know what I need to do, and I am committed to doing it, but for now, I just feel like such a loser.
My question for the forum is: How do you forgive yourself when you make very terrible mistakes? What can you do to begin to trust yourself again?
I don't really have cravings, but when I binge, I binge hard. It is getting to the point where I am becoming a totally different person than who I want to be. I know what I need to do, and I am committed to doing it, but for now, I just feel like such a loser.
My question for the forum is: How do you forgive yourself when you make very terrible mistakes? What can you do to begin to trust yourself again?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,576
hi Hitchens - I'm glad you made it back 
I couldn't even begin to do either of those things until I stopped drinking.
The more 'right things' I did the less the past weighed down on me, and the more I felt I could trust myself again.
D
My question for the forum is: How do you forgive yourself when you make very terrible mistakes? What can you do to begin to trust yourself again?
The more 'right things' I did the less the past weighed down on me, and the more I felt I could trust myself again.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,593
Hitchens
I can echo what Dee said. I could not even begin to forgive myself and the more I dwelt on it..especially in the beginning the more miserable I was which spiraled me down even more and then that av would kick in dang hard and guess what..back to drinking. I am glad you made it back.
I can echo what Dee said. I could not even begin to forgive myself and the more I dwelt on it..especially in the beginning the more miserable I was which spiraled me down even more and then that av would kick in dang hard and guess what..back to drinking. I am glad you made it back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 530
For me, the sense of having been forgiven and having confidence in my ability to stay clean and sober was only possible as a result of fully committing to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. A couple of quotes from the Big Book of AA come to mind:
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development [making 9th Step amends], we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it...."
"strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules"
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development [making 9th Step amends], we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it...."
"strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules"
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,633
Hitchens - Very glad you came back. We care about you & want to help. You're not alone, we've all experienced what you're feeling.
I had a really difficult time forgiving myself. I drank for many years & caused a lot of damage - the guilt was terrible. I had to learn to move past those feelings or I'd keep relapsing. I finally convinced myself that the drunk Hev was not the real me - not even close! I became a destructive, reckless version of myself when drinking. That 'other me' has been gone for many years now - I can never allow her to take over my life again.
You can get free. Please keep posting - it helps with the anxiety in the early days.
I had a really difficult time forgiving myself. I drank for many years & caused a lot of damage - the guilt was terrible. I had to learn to move past those feelings or I'd keep relapsing. I finally convinced myself that the drunk Hev was not the real me - not even close! I became a destructive, reckless version of myself when drinking. That 'other me' has been gone for many years now - I can never allow her to take over my life again.
You can get free. Please keep posting - it helps with the anxiety in the early days.
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