Fluffer

Hey peeps,

I haven’t posted in a long time but have been sober nearly nine years. Today I found out something that kind of threw me for a loop. I saw on Facebook that my best friend from college when we were raging drinkers needs a new liver, and I can only assume the prognosis is grim. We drifted apart over the years and he wasn’t always the best friend, but this news has me feeling sad and a bit wierd. I wonder if anyone can relate. No need to worry about my sobriety, it’s not an issue any more. Not sure, but maybe I feel guilty living and recovering where my former drinking buddy is on the ropes and likely going down?

Zencat

Hi Fluffer. I had a good friend that developed alcoholism at an early age, about 18 years old. We drank together always, I became well acquainted with his family. I'm still in contact with his brother. My friend was 50 when he died in his sleep from a large gastrointestinal ulcer from drinking. Doctors told him and his quit drinking or die. I'm 66 years old and wonder how I have survived by being in recovery for long periods of time. I wanted to change but my buddy was powerless to help himself and refused any help.

There is a principle in life called impermanence. All things will end because that is the cosmic order of all things. How deeply I contemplate the end of all, the better I understand how to deal with loss. I may morn for a long time. I can rest easy knowing the "why" all will come to an end.

BullDog777

I've been sober 7+ years. Life has consequences. I've seen peers of mine that I went to rehab with, die. Not sober though. I'm the only one from my rehab class that stuck it out.

Even still, I've got liver disease and one day it will probably take my life. He can hope for a transplant or a partial living donor like I'm hoping for with my brother but you don't get to do this as long as we do and get to walk away, scott free. I knew that 10 years ago. I was hoping it wasn't going to be my fate, but I knew it would probably be bad at some point. I don't know how much time I have. My liver dr said it could be 10 years..maybe more or less. It all depends on how healthy I live.

I understand you feeling bad about it, but you bear zero responsibility. This illness is awful. Every side of it. If he found recovery, I hope he gets to feel some of the miracle of freedom we get to feel after some time.

I wish you all the best and will pray for your buddy.

AAPJ

One of my drinking friends also kept drinking and now needs a liver. When he was diagnosed last year I went and visited him. Provided friendship and support. Do I wish he sobered up and avoided this? Of course but I realize I am not in charge of his life. I text him several times a week. He's sober now and my guess is he will never drink again. I would not say that about many of my old drinking friends but he's really stubborn and realizes he screwed up.

Notch8

I lost a few people in my life to hard drugs. Not super close but I knew them. One bad batch of heroin did them both in.

Its humbling looking back at all the heavy drinking I did and why did God spare me and not others.

Zencat