froscow

Hey everyone. I'm a 30 year man who quit drinking completely in early 2018. In late June, I was in a very weird place mentally and emotionally..and the insanity kicked in and I picked up, using all the rationalising and excuses in the book. It went right back to my old way of drinking, my tolerance hadn't even changed that much after years which is a little frightening.

After the bender, I went 6 weeks without the stuff..but my mental health was still shaky. I picked up again earlier this week, 3 day bender, and now I'm 36 hours dry. It's just a horrible deja vu. The detox, the same behavior came right back. And also upsetting people who were proud of my sobriety and breaking trust.

I will not wallow myself in shame and more negative emotions because I know that will hurt, not help. Maybe I got too comfortable in my sobriety and took it for granted. But to anyone who's thinking of 'having just a couple ' after a very long stretch of sobriety..please don't. It's playing with fire, and I definitely got burned. If you had told me this time 3 months ago that I would be back in this position, I would have said you were crazy.

dustyfox

froscow your post is just what I needed to read and it sent shivers down my spine. How easy it might be to slip back into all the old ways. Thank you for sharing - it serves as a very stark warning.

I hope your own determination will take you back to your sober life once more.

Introvrtd1

Hi froscow,

I been there and know exactly what you mean and how it feels to binge after a long, proud, bout of sobriety.

Hang in there, and hope you get back to the health and healing that was with you before.

Gettingcloser

Hi Froscow, thanks for posting. I also quit drinking 4 years ago. May 29th 2018 was my last drink. I have had some freaky moments as well where I think that drinking would give me the reset I think I need. It is posts like yours that I read on this site that help me quickly turn away from this way of thinking. Knowing that the tolerance I have for alcohol will never change and the result of drinking will yield the exact same horrible outcome. I hope you can quickly find your way back. Stay close and keep posting.

Dee74

I'm really glad you made it back froscow.

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VikingGF

Welcome back, froscow. It's good you're here.

TiredCarpenter

Keep at it frosco.
Tough stretch right now, but several hundred percent better in a few days.

Remember your tools. My sobriety tools were worn out and broken when I relapsed. I had to make a concerted effort to gather up some fresh ones.

Sober days are golden. I wish you many.

Hevyn

Hi froscow - thank you for a very important & helpful post.

The same thing happened to me (though I'm much older). I had been sober for 3 yrs. & thought I'd just have 'a few'. As we now know, there is no such thing - not for us. It was hell to try and stop that last time - but the good thing is, I was finally convinced I could never be a social drinker. I had proof.

It is terrifying how easily we can be right back on square one. Never again. Congrats on your sober time - you'll feel better soon, and you'll be free once again.

travelbug

Welcome back. Join the class of Sept 2022. You will be in good company!

aasharon90

Thank you for sharing and coming back. 30 yrs old is
when I entered recovery back in Aug.1990 and have
been sober ever since. So this maybe your time to get
into recovery using the tools and knowledge offered to
us as a guideline to living a successful, rewarding way
of life here on out.

You are still young and you have your whole life ahead
of you with many of life's rewards waiting for you to experience.

Learn from the past and build a stronger recovery foundation
to live on each day sober making changes along the way for
the better.

novips

I could not stay sober till I fully committed to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, including once relapsing after 4 years. Since then, I have come to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic for whom there is only one solution -- complete submission to A.A. -- and I am one of those types. Unfortunately, many in this class end up dying horrible alcoholic deaths because they either can't or won't see this truth. Please keep an open mind about the possibility that you may be one of those types. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.

AL48

Thanks for sharing, its good to remind us all its only a sip away to the old ways again no matter how long we are sober. Take care.

SoberLeigh

Thank you for your post, froscow. It is a stark reminder of just how diligent and committed we must remain.

Glad that you are back with us. Stay close.

Purplrks3647

Hi Froscow!

I had a reply typed and then realized I pretty much repeated what SoberLeigh said!

Welcome back

1kgreg

I just joined looking for other information and found this thread, I was working myself up to (justifying) having a drink after a year of sobriety, reading what froscow wrote hit me exactly where i needed it, its easy to forget the hell that was quitting and only look on the times i enjoyed drinking, which towards the end weren't very many. Quitting sucks (20 plus years of drinking), the Anxiety i used to get at about 2 in the afternoon after my hangover starts subsiding and the sweats started kicking in, and then the craving for alcohol starts full force until im off work and have a drink in my hand is an absolute nightmare. I didn't think reading about other people's issues would make a difference, i quit alone and have never talked to anyone about it other than my wife, but i think maybe logging in here from time to time my become a part of my schedule.
Thanks for the post.. good luck to each and everyone on their path to sober happiness.

Dee74

Welcome to SR 1kgreg
D