It's only been 4 months - but thoughts won't go away of WANTING to drink...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 980
It's only been 4 months - but thoughts won't go away of WANTING to drink...
You can read my history on SR and see how BAD it got for me. I have not a single drop for over 4 months. I don't have serious thoughts of drinking. But the thoughts DO come of WANTING to drink. Thoughts of "just one more time", I won't let it get "that bad again". yada, yada, yada.
I know this is normal. I know about urge surfing, talking it out, looking ahead, looking back as to what it's done to me. Man - I am NOT going to drink. But do these EVER go away? It's been about 4 months. I am still a bit tired, still have anxiety, but that's LIFE.
Most days are fine - but then the stress comes and of course AV kicks in. If I drink again, I WILL end up in a horizontal position for days. It WILL end up bad. Alcohol has taken SO much from me. My family. IDK what I am looking for here. Maybe just to not feel so alone. Thoughts?
I know this is normal. I know about urge surfing, talking it out, looking ahead, looking back as to what it's done to me. Man - I am NOT going to drink. But do these EVER go away? It's been about 4 months. I am still a bit tired, still have anxiety, but that's LIFE.
Most days are fine - but then the stress comes and of course AV kicks in. If I drink again, I WILL end up in a horizontal position for days. It WILL end up bad. Alcohol has taken SO much from me. My family. IDK what I am looking for here. Maybe just to not feel so alone. Thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It's been over eight years since I've had a drink and I still think about it now and then.
How could I not? I created a pattern of thinking that involved every scenario ending in, "and now I drink."
It's okay. I also think about all kinds of past stuff that I'd never do again. Meh. It's just a random firing of neurons.
Carry on! You're normal.
How could I not? I created a pattern of thinking that involved every scenario ending in, "and now I drink."
It's okay. I also think about all kinds of past stuff that I'd never do again. Meh. It's just a random firing of neurons.
Carry on! You're normal.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Great work on 4 months BeHappy. I have also been sober for close to 10 years and yes, those thoughts do still pop up out of the blue every now and then. But after a while living sober becomes the norm, and you can accept those thoughts just for what they are - only thoughts. I drank every day for over 20 years so I doubt I'll ever completely flush my brain of the memories of that, and as Bimini says there are plenty of things from our past that we did that we'll never do again.
Having said all that you are doing exactly what you need to do now while the thoughts are fresh - get them out there, talk it through.
Having said all that you are doing exactly what you need to do now while the thoughts are fresh - get them out there, talk it through.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
4 months is great- have faith that it will get easier and better.
Recognizing those very thoughts as lies was when the shift happened for me- one more, I can handle it, all that- LIES- blatant attempts to put me back on the path to my demise. Once I truly accepted that I can never drink, not ever, and that being sober was a true gift, those thoughts disappeared. I was no longer suppressing something, I was rejoicing in my own choice to be sober. It took some time to shift that way of thought, but once I did, I never looked back. If there is a glimmer (usually out of habit- I drank so long!) I laugh at it and it's gone. Being sober isn't spending all your time thinking of not drinking, even though that's how it seems early on- and I was sure I would always be that way- but the long-timers said it got better, and I believed it, and dang, it got better. My AV is seriously MIA. Keep going, do the work and yours will be, too. You're doing great.
Recognizing those very thoughts as lies was when the shift happened for me- one more, I can handle it, all that- LIES- blatant attempts to put me back on the path to my demise. Once I truly accepted that I can never drink, not ever, and that being sober was a true gift, those thoughts disappeared. I was no longer suppressing something, I was rejoicing in my own choice to be sober. It took some time to shift that way of thought, but once I did, I never looked back. If there is a glimmer (usually out of habit- I drank so long!) I laugh at it and it's gone. Being sober isn't spending all your time thinking of not drinking, even though that's how it seems early on- and I was sure I would always be that way- but the long-timers said it got better, and I believed it, and dang, it got better. My AV is seriously MIA. Keep going, do the work and yours will be, too. You're doing great.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 97
Hi Behappy,
I became permanently abstinent 5 years ago using AVRT. I found that the AV dies down with time, but never goes away entirely. I have no fear of my AV acting up because I separated from the Addictive Voice. In fact, if it pops up, I like to play with ITs head. Here is a post from our beloved Terminally Unique describing the “shifting” technique that I use to beat that AV down.
Using this technique helped put ME in control when the AV decided to bark at me. Maybe it will help you or somebody reading this thread.
BTW, the quoted post can be found here - https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-2-a-3.html (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) Discussion Part 2)
I became permanently abstinent 5 years ago using AVRT. I found that the AV dies down with time, but never goes away entirely. I have no fear of my AV acting up because I separated from the Addictive Voice. In fact, if it pops up, I like to play with ITs head. Here is a post from our beloved Terminally Unique describing the “shifting” technique that I use to beat that AV down.
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique 
A few of you have reported relapse anxiety surrounding “Beast activity," so here's an AVRT Tip.
People typically view the AV as their nemesis, a specter of bad times to come. They live their lives in full reverse, fleeing the Beast as they would a dreaded foe. They are often elated that they haven’t had any AV for a while, and live in a state of false security based upon the idea that it is good to not hear an enemy stalking from behind.
This is not the best approach to take, though, since it puts you on the defensive, and you need to go on the offensive instead. Consider that the AV is actually a sign of robust health, and that therefore you can welcome the AV into your life as a natural function of a healthy, human body. Addictive desire and the AV are very much like one’s sexual libido, and you wouldn't choose to neuter your libido in order to keep out of trouble, would you?
In AVRT, we actually practice craving on purpose in order to bring the Beast out from hiding, expose it, and learn that it is genuinely powerless. There are a few sections in the "RR:TNC" book that address this, specifically, the "Shifting" exercise on page 202, "Aggressive Listening" on page 205, and "Attack Your Beast" on page 206. The "Relapse Anxiety Grid" on Page 190 is useful for these exercises, and it might be a good idea to bookmark the page with a paperclip to refer back to.
The shifting exercises are a radical departure from AV anxiety. In AVRT-based recovery, we don’t have relapse anxiety, because it is always an example of the AV itself, and we don't fear the AV; we welcome it as a sign of robust health. This is very different from traditional approaches, and may sound counter-intuitive at first, but it is what will allow you to walk free, without fear of triggers or slipping. If you are having relapse anxiety or are afraid of the Beast, try the exercises in the book.
People typically view the AV as their nemesis, a specter of bad times to come. They live their lives in full reverse, fleeing the Beast as they would a dreaded foe. They are often elated that they haven’t had any AV for a while, and live in a state of false security based upon the idea that it is good to not hear an enemy stalking from behind.
This is not the best approach to take, though, since it puts you on the defensive, and you need to go on the offensive instead. Consider that the AV is actually a sign of robust health, and that therefore you can welcome the AV into your life as a natural function of a healthy, human body. Addictive desire and the AV are very much like one’s sexual libido, and you wouldn't choose to neuter your libido in order to keep out of trouble, would you?
In AVRT, we actually practice craving on purpose in order to bring the Beast out from hiding, expose it, and learn that it is genuinely powerless. There are a few sections in the "RR:TNC" book that address this, specifically, the "Shifting" exercise on page 202, "Aggressive Listening" on page 205, and "Attack Your Beast" on page 206. The "Relapse Anxiety Grid" on Page 190 is useful for these exercises, and it might be a good idea to bookmark the page with a paperclip to refer back to.
The shifting exercises are a radical departure from AV anxiety. In AVRT-based recovery, we don’t have relapse anxiety, because it is always an example of the AV itself, and we don't fear the AV; we welcome it as a sign of robust health. This is very different from traditional approaches, and may sound counter-intuitive at first, but it is what will allow you to walk free, without fear of triggers or slipping. If you are having relapse anxiety or are afraid of the Beast, try the exercises in the book.
BTW, the quoted post can be found here - https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-2-a-3.html (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) Discussion Part 2)
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
4 months of sobriety is a great achievement, but it is still early sobriety.
Just focus on one day at a time, and the passage of time will lessen your thoughts of drinking.
I passed 12 years last April and don't ever consider drinking. Earlier this week I met up with some tennis friends I haven't seen since before Covid. We played tennis for 2 hours and then when to get a beer (or in my case, an iced tea). We had some food and good conversation and nobody said anything (or even cared) that I had an iced tea.
Just focus on one day at a time, and the passage of time will lessen your thoughts of drinking.
I passed 12 years last April and don't ever consider drinking. Earlier this week I met up with some tennis friends I haven't seen since before Covid. We played tennis for 2 hours and then when to get a beer (or in my case, an iced tea). We had some food and good conversation and nobody said anything (or even cared) that I had an iced tea.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1,599
For me, those early months were a weird place of "I feel better now and I'm sure I can manage drinking" and then going out and drinking. I did it time and time again. It took a long time to learn. My suggestion if you want it is to keep ignoring the thoughts of wanting to drink. Once we cross the line into addiction, there is no going back. We'll never be able to moderate. Abstinence is the only way. Remind yourself of how bad it was and why you wanted to quit. If you start drinking again, chances are that those experiences will be a picnic in comparison to what might happen if you start drinking again. It's highly unlikely that you'll drink differently than you did before. That's the nature of addiction - it gets worse over time. Give yourself a lil treat of some kind for being 4 months sober. It's a wonderful accomplishment.
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