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Feel like crap

Old 01-07-2022, 03:54 AM
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Feel like crap

All the news is bad,I'm so very anxious. Now thier saying deaths are up 40 percent. Now I'm worried what if they are right and this vaccine is going to kill me. I'm eating non stop to deal fear and depression. I been having 12 meals a day and can't stop.i just can't I feel so anxious. I can't talk about fear of News at aa because a lot them believe this and will make more concerned. Their nice people don't get me wrong but a lot are conspiracy minded to a at least an extent. I'm Also guzzling 2 sodas a day. I currently feel sick I haven't gotten tested but am feeling better never had s fever no real cough. It's been a week since I had symptoms. I had a using dream last night wear got high and it was the best ever grown by my sister and her friends who decided to move to a hippy community. I saw my sponsor and minimized my struggles talking to him only briefly. I'm keeping lying about how I feel. I afraid I'm heading for a relapse. Probably by thinking I can just get high. Not now I'm to sick. I soon won't care if I do. I'm so depressed I almost don't care. I need to escape reality it's becoming introlerble.
David
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Old 01-07-2022, 04:45 AM
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FBL
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David, sorry you're struggling. This pandemic has been hard on a lot of people. Personally, I stopped watching the news coverage shortly after this all started. I instantly felt some relief. The best way to get out of my own head is to find someone else to help. I'm sure you know that using/getting high will NOT solve your problems, only make them worse.

Hang in there!!
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Old 01-07-2022, 08:04 AM
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I would also recommend taking a break from the news David, nothing good can come of it - especially for those of us with Anxiety. Have you been able to speak with your therapist lately? I know I used to sometimes do an extra session when I was feeling especially bad.
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Old 01-07-2022, 08:45 AM
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Taking a break from the news is a good idea.
Deciding to have the vaccine or not is up to you. I have had it, so has my husband and my kids and so have my elderly mother and father.
Don't let it stress you out too much.
We can't control much in this life but one thing we can control is whether we drink or not - and I can tell you with complete certainty that putting alcohol in your body will cause harm.
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Old 01-07-2022, 05:33 PM
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I'm going skiing tomorrow and I'm feeling better. It's been 7 days since I had symptoms. It's outside anyway. I'm making myself do things wether i feel like it or not. Getting outside always makes feel better nothing better than some brisk cold air so very refreshing. We had a couple of feet of snow here this week skiing will be great.
I will be skiing with friends. Also I am vaccinenated 3 times.
David
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Old 01-08-2022, 02:28 AM
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Glad youíre feeling better David! Seems like you do better when you get involved in activities! I call them positive outlets! I too suffered from similar stuff youíre going through! I realized after I sobered up you got to have positive outlets to replace all the time we spent with drinking and using! Otherwise you go nuts!

Donít get me wrong AA is good and is a positive outlet! But for me that wasnít enough! After I sobered up I bought a 14 ft aluminum boat and a trailer, had a hitch put on my pick up truck, and spent a lot of time bass and pike fishing at inland lakes in Oakland County in MI! It became an obsession! Every chance I had I would go fishing! I loved it!

Then that started to get old and I threw in an aquarium hobby! I bought a 75 gallon aquarium and became obsessed with tropical fish!

Then that got old and I started working out and actually got real good at it! I took up strength training and started competing in powerlifting tournaments and won many tournaments around the region in my weight class! I was a gym rat and was obsessed with weightlifting!

Then that got old and I became a die hard Michigan wolverine fan! I would go to the games and watch every game on TV! I was obsessed!

Then that got old and I became a big movie goer! I would go to the movie theater every chance I got to go see the movies! I was obsessed with movies!

Then I became a news junkie! I was obsessed with news channels and would watch every news outlet every chance I got! But I made sure I never wore politics on my sleeve!

All along with these activities though I still made sure I went to AA meetings! And I realized that though positive outlets are a must, itís best not to become too obsessed with it! Otherwise I become dysfunctional in recovery! But even if you do become obsessed with positive outlets, itís still a lot better than drinking and using again!

Thats what sobriety is about! Youíre supposed to quit drinking and get on with your life! I just always remember that sobriety, AA, the steps, and SR always has to be a part of it!
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