100

Perfectionism ruins everything it steals joy. I realize that if something isn't perfect I only see the falt not the beauty. It's a big reason I drank, because when drunk I don't care at all. I never want to drink though because drinking stole my all joy from my life. I'm 22 days sober but I realize I have a long way to go but I can do it if I don't pick up drink remain teachable. I have a life today and I didn't 22 days ago.
David

Introvrtd1

Hang in there David…It does get better 🙁

Mizz

You are doing so well! You got this.
Ya, perfectionism is something a lot of us have in common. I gotta keep an eye on myself in regards to that.
Keep on keeping on!

Briansy

Yes, perfectionism is tough. Manifests in a want to control everything and intense frustration and resentment when inevitably those efforts fail - cos life just isn't like that. I actually feel like diagnosing all of these things is the easy part, it's how you address them, and more importantly, who you listen to in a sea of gurus of varying competency that is the hard bit. But then maybe that last statement says it all: the desire for a perfect resolution to the problem of perfectionism means you don't even attempt to address it cos you think it's doomed to failure. End result? You're stuck in a rut. Acceptable solution: do what you can to address it and trust that even if you don't absolutely nail that attempt, life will still get better? Maybe I should look into that!

Good food for thought, 100. Your progress is impressive, keep it up!

nez

Perfectionism can be a trouble spot for this alcoholic, due to the "ism" (I, self, me).
On the other hand, the serenity experienced through the unconditional acceptance of imperfections is damn near perfection though and a thing of beauty. :~)
When I let go...I am let go...to be free.

Patcha

That's a good insight to have about yourself. Once you know it, you can change it (assuming you want to - it's ok to be just as you are, too!).

fishkiller

I relate all too well.

I find myself beating myself up if something doesn't come out perfect yet others look at my work and are impressed most of the time.
I'm getting better but it is definitely a work in progress.

Looking to be the perfect guy with the perfect life surrounded by perfect people.
Never gonna happen.

Learning to accept I am a good person with a great life surrounded by a few great people has been challenging at times.

That would be perfect.

advbike

Perfectionism lead me to procrastinate for many years. In my mind the project or task would become too large because I always wanted to do it the best I could, so I would never start. My ex-wife, bless her heart would just jump in with both feet no hesitation. And usually whatever it was would come out fine. She was so much more productive than I was.

ScottFromWI

Hope it's going well David, have not heard from you for a couple of days.

Fusion

Yes, another perfectionist here. Sadly for me, perfectionism gravitates into. not even trying to achieve some tasks - for fear of failure - the irony is, I fail because I don't try.

Perhaps it doesn't feel too good for the 'let go' person, though.

zjw

i sorta found the voice in my head was a bit to critical of everything. I could go on as to why this voice is like that but whatever. This constant seeking perfection is maddening the worst part is i'm not really a perfectionist maybe i wanna be maybe the voice in my head wants to tell me how i could constantly do things better. But the reality is i make a lot of careless mistakes. I often do sloppy work. Even when i do a good job i go back and realize i forgot to dot i's and cross t's i cant even help it its how i am. all i can do is try and do my best. My best may not be good enough but its what i got. For me I've had to learn how to accept crap and also learn to let stuff go. Its not easy. but getting tangled up in my mind and the inner critic is just a recipe for disaster at some point i gotta walk away from that fight throw my hands in the air and say it is what it is.

100

Its going well I'm just busy im going to aa every day . Tomorrow im going to grand haven state Park and going to lake michigan beach Tomorrow with a bunch of aa folks. I'm making friends I feel great during the day. Night time is still bad having panic attacks ect. I feel fine during the day but Night is terrible. I do eat a lot sugar but so does every one else at aa.
David

advbike

And that's a problem. There have been several studies that show the affects of sugar on emotional states. I feel it myself - if I eat sweets I get anxiety at night.

Could it be that all that sugar contributes to an ongoing craving, and need for meetings?