Notch8

"Too bad you have no self control."
Too bad you're an ignorant bastard.

"Must be nice to be able to drink like that and still get up for work in the morning."
Yeah, its great waking up and wondering which organ is on the brink of failure. Real thrill. Dirtbag.

Guess I had my fill of it this week, with New Years coming up and all. Post 'em up. What dumba$$ comments really grate you?

Dee74

I hate to be that guy - but since I stopped drinking, comments like that don't bother me.

How long have you been sober Notch? I ask only because the answer might bring some understanding to the resentments you're feeling.

Drinking made me bitter vengeful and self conscious.
I let a lot of stuff go the longer I was sober.

D

biminiblue

Are you drinking again, Notch? Why would they be saying that to you now? I guess I'm confused.

I can't recall anyone saying anything to me at all ever about my drinking - though they certainly had every reason to do so.

I don't take insults on board unless they're true...even then, they are strictly educational!

least

What other people think and say about me is none of my business. I don't let comments bother me. I have better things to expend my energy on.

Notch8

Sorry, I should explain... its the attitude behind it I guess. Not much the comments themselves, but how people tend to blow off addiction, like we bring this onto ourselves. Like we should be able to flip a switch and stop on a dime.

And no, totally 100% not drinking! But thanks for asking.

(Guess I could have titled the thread a little better. Sorry)

ScottFromWI

Yes, some people have bad attitudes towards addiction, just like they have bad attitudes about many different things. Having said that, it's hard enough to understand addiction ourselves, much less try to explain it to someone else. My strategy when it comes to those kinds of people is to simply avoid or ignore them, because you'll never change them. Ignorance exists everywhere in our lives, so it's best to focus on the positive influences and people. Especially in today's world where anyone with a smartphone or a computer has a "platform" on the internet - filtering out the chaff is necessary.

aussieblue

I have heard a lot of negative comments about alcho's or addicts it makes me cringe because I have been in that space but the thing I do notice is the comments I hear when people have given up the grog or drugs how impressed they are to see how a person has turned their life around .

Lpg

I think sometimes alot of the comments are a lack of understanding, some people just don't get it. Or don't know what to say That's why we need to hang around people who do.

Gottalife

The worst for me, mainly because it often comes from people who should know better “just don’t drink”. Like I never thought of that and if I could have done that, don’t they think I would have?

the baffling feature of alcoholism, the absolute inability to leave it alone no matter how great the need or the wish.

nez

I didn't believe that I was an alcoholic and was in denial about the fact that I was for years. A person with no personal experience in being an alcoholic stands very little chance in being able to help me grasp the concept on how to conquer my alcoholism.

People with no empathy for others, don't believe that they lack empathy and are in denial of the fact that they lack empathy. If I have no personal experience with empathy, I stand very little chance to help them grasp the concept of how to conquer their lack of empathy.

When I can't understand the other side...that is s a huge red flag for me. There is no "other side" except the ones my mind creates. We are all humans, and because we are, we have problems. We stand our best chance of working out the problem of differences by focusing on the similarities...that of being human.

I am by no means anywhere near achieving this ideal, I struggle daily with it, but by taking action on the problem, I am slowly making progress. I pray for courage to continue on this path.

I don't want to live there anymore.

LateBloominCait

These things don't bother me much anymore because I know something that they don't. It took a tremendous amount of courage for me to take stock of my own life, truly see myself for who I was and then take the steps necessary to change it. I know that I am a strong person with a will to live that is as strong as steel. Everyone falls down for one reason or another in life, but I am the kind of person who will always stand back up and keep moving forward. I honestly feel a little sorry for people who think recovering addicts are weak. Nothing could be further from the truth. Recovering addicts are some of the strongest, most honest people there are. If someone doesn't see that or understand it, I don't take it personally. What other people think of me is none of my business anyway.

entropy1964

I am a very sensitive person. And it appears most of us are....who knew?

I hate my addiction. And frankly the things I say to myself about it are probably more harmful then what anyone else says to me, if I'm honest.

This is very hard to do, but its a super power once learned: What other people think or say is theirs. Seriously. Who cares?

All that matters is my narrative. And I have the power to write it and live it. All that other stuff? Its static. My addiction loves it when I listen and get all salty. Because that's when I start to move back to addictive thinking. Which makes me thirsty. The heck with em.

snitch

Things that irked me were you have no willpower or you're weak or something I saw on someone's fb was well I have had to deal with bad things and I didnt turn to drink or drugs so no sympathy.

However, now I know exactly what I suffer with and am not alone and now I work a programme of recovery I don't let comments bother me anymore. Normal drinkers will never understand alcoholics. If someone can take or leave a drink then they aren't going to be able to grasp the concept or the power of just having to have more and more and more and you know what? That's ok. I am grateful today i know what I am and what the solution is. I dont have to prove I am "right" to anyone. I know and that's good enough for me today.

Mizz

When I think of the original posting, it has lead me to think that I do not talk of my alcohol use with others in real life. There are very few whom I feel comfortable sharing. Any commentary that has been made by others I consider the source and move on. It is none of my business what others think of me nor is it their business what I think of them. I also don't know anyone in "real life" who makes comments like the ones stated. Those comments seem very harsh and lack understanding. Not anyone I would consider a friend at all.

SnazzyDresser

Is Normie the fat guy on Cheers? I think that guy probably drank too much tbh, not that it's any of my business.

Skyhawker

I generally don't associate myself with people that make negative comments, jabs, or fun of alcoholism. So far everyone has shown nothing but support in my decision. The most frustrating part for me is the lack of true understanding from others. Like quitting is something as easy as dropping a hobby or avoiding desert. I've come to the realization that it's because they have not and will likely not experience it. Having not experienced addiction themselves, they cannot possibly understand it or relate to it. It's a similar story to how devastated I was when I lost my Mom. Some of my friends meant well, but they could not possibly feel what I felt or relate/help having not experienced the loss of a close parent themselves. It is the same thing with alcohol and addiction, they might mean well but they cannot effectively help because they don't truly understand what it's like. Some of the doctors I see tell me "we know it's hard" and I want to look at them and ask "REALLY!?... DO YOU REALLY KNOW HOW HARD IT IS!?" (That might backfire though cuz one of them might have gone through the battle too). However, I've found that as long as they are trying to help and mean well ,to welcome their aid. The most effective advice and therapy is from being around people that "get it". Not every story is the same, but it helps to have places like these forums, AA, etc. to discuss something we can all relate to and encourage and help each other in ways that "normies" cannot.

Bonnefond87

I love that Superpower description Entropy and you are so right. I remember vividly how angry I was with everyone at the start of my new life and it took a while to get through it. One thing I try to do now is to be as supportive as possible. Addiction is so poorly understood

nmd

What irks me is "everything in moderation". I get it, and as already mentioned, it mostly reflects a lack of understanding people have of addiction. It's one of those conversation ender, dismissive phrases though, lacking in empathy. It belongs in the trash bin with "it is what it is" and "it could be worse".