To the core
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 27
To the core
I'm finally getting around to posting about this news that has sent a chill down my spine. It's been some months now, I had a great childhood friend pass in June. I don't know the details of his passing, but I know that he had been struggling with substance abuse, a felony conviction, moving in with his parents and the isolation that Covid has caused. I'm sure it was not easy to handle at all. It would have been nice to have reached out to him. I had just been too busy. The life of a new dad. At the very least, I was able to post a nice message on his obituary. It's just hard to believe that he is gone and at such a young age.
Since June, I've occasionally awoken from a terrible nightmare about returning to my former life of heavy drinking. These nightmares just chill me to the core and cause me to be on edge all day. Oy!... It's been strange to have these dreams since I have felt so far removed from my old life as an alcoholic. I do recall the days when I knew that the compulsion to keep my stash filled and myself "loaded" would eventually lead to my demise. Of course, I had the power to stop drinking, but I didn't want to. Alcohol was like a full time job with added overtime. I consumed it and it consumed me. Eventually, I got help and moved on. It wasn't super easy and felt strangely out of pattern to pass a full day with no booze. Anyway, being an a former alcoholic has been liberating. These nightmare are a reminder of a past life. My childhood friend may have been up against overwhelming odds in the age of Covid. Maybe I'll find out what happened one day or maybe I won't. I won't ask questions.
Anyways, I'm not asking for advice, but I do welcome your responses.
This post has been stirring in the recesses of my mind for a few months now.
Stay safe out there.
Since June, I've occasionally awoken from a terrible nightmare about returning to my former life of heavy drinking. These nightmares just chill me to the core and cause me to be on edge all day. Oy!... It's been strange to have these dreams since I have felt so far removed from my old life as an alcoholic. I do recall the days when I knew that the compulsion to keep my stash filled and myself "loaded" would eventually lead to my demise. Of course, I had the power to stop drinking, but I didn't want to. Alcohol was like a full time job with added overtime. I consumed it and it consumed me. Eventually, I got help and moved on. It wasn't super easy and felt strangely out of pattern to pass a full day with no booze. Anyway, being an a former alcoholic has been liberating. These nightmare are a reminder of a past life. My childhood friend may have been up against overwhelming odds in the age of Covid. Maybe I'll find out what happened one day or maybe I won't. I won't ask questions.
Anyways, I'm not asking for advice, but I do welcome your responses.
This post has been stirring in the recesses of my mind for a few months now.
Stay safe out there.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,590
I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend GP - whatever the cause, its always a shock when someone we've known for years is not there any more.
As regards the dreams - I think nearly everyone has them from time to time - but they do fade with more sober time
Congrats on your sober time - and welcome to SR
D
As regards the dreams - I think nearly everyone has them from time to time - but they do fade with more sober time
Congrats on your sober time - and welcome to SR
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It must be a sign of the times, but for some reason I read your username as "GermaPhobe."
Not at all what you intended.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. I think we all have the uneasy feeling of, "There but for the grace of God go I."
Welcome to the posting side.
Not at all what you intended.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. I think we all have the uneasy feeling of, "There but for the grace of God go I."
Welcome to the posting side.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,633
Hi GP. I'm glad you wanted to post about your friend. I'm so sorry you lost him. Congratulations on getting free of your alcohol dependence.
I can relate to your comment about drinking becoming a full time job. It was ridiculous the lengths I went to just to keep from shaking. A living hell that we never have to experience again. I had those drinking dreams too - they eventually stopped completely.
I can relate to your comment about drinking becoming a full time job. It was ridiculous the lengths I went to just to keep from shaking. A living hell that we never have to experience again. I had those drinking dreams too - they eventually stopped completely.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 27
Yeah. It's an interesting name. It's the name of my phone. The idea is that I can freak out my friends and coworkers when they get in the car with me for a lunch run. The touchscreen will read: "Gentle Probe Connected". I'm sure you can fill in the rest.
Yes, parenting is very challenging. 
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