I ditched the super bowl party
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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I ditched the super bowl party
I’m so over drunk fests and all the friends I used to have that are now just friends with my husband getting hammered at my house, yelling at the tv, beer cans everywhere, messy plates of food, children tearing my house apart because drunk adults are unable to watch them. I’m done babysitting all our friends punk kids because they are drunk in front of the tv.
So I left at 11:15 this morning and didn’t come back until 7:30. Pissed my husband off, but I had peace. I did a rowing workout, some bouldering, some shopping, and I had actually looked up an AA meeting for 7pm but my oldest girl (my 23 year old beauty) who was also ditching the drunk fest, wanted to meet up for dinner and gelato instead.
I’m over it. I’m over people getting ********* at parties around me no matter who it is, and at this stage in my sobriety I don’t have to try to make everyone happy.
I used to get blotto every year at this party, I’m sure they all liked me better then. Oh well.
So I left at 11:15 this morning and didn’t come back until 7:30. Pissed my husband off, but I had peace. I did a rowing workout, some bouldering, some shopping, and I had actually looked up an AA meeting for 7pm but my oldest girl (my 23 year old beauty) who was also ditching the drunk fest, wanted to meet up for dinner and gelato instead.
I’m over it. I’m over people getting ********* at parties around me no matter who it is, and at this stage in my sobriety I don’t have to try to make everyone happy.
I used to get blotto every year at this party, I’m sure they all liked me better then. Oh well.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Drunks are so annoying! I went and picked up some of my friends at bar close once and I walk in to see a bunch of sober people and one table of obnoxious drunks (my friends). I used to think everyone was drunk by bar close.
I've drifted away from the people in my life who drink because we don't enjoy the same things anymore. One of them I consider a true friend too and not a "drinking buddy".
You had a better day doing things you enjoy and getting to hang out with the daughter.
I've drifted away from the people in my life who drink because we don't enjoy the same things anymore. One of them I consider a true friend too and not a "drinking buddy".
You had a better day doing things you enjoy and getting to hang out with the daughter.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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Thank you. It was really good for me to say no to that today. Just...
No.
I came home and they had cleaned up after themselves. I think they pictured me coming home to their chaos and made a courteous choice there, so that was good.
No.
I came home and they had cleaned up after themselves. I think they pictured me coming home to their chaos and made a courteous choice there, so that was good.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Like I said to SoberRican a few days ago...Superbowl...that's football, right?
Sounds like your day was far more relaxing and soothing to the soul.
I have such a completely opposite life from most of pop culture. No regular TV (only Netflix vetted carefully,) which means no commercials, no news, no politics, no sports, no gossip shows or Housewives of Whatever City-type things. No drinking, just a nice quiet existence - low stress, plenty of good home-cooked food and lots of outdoor time. I avoid drama - such as drinking events always are.
It can be Spring any time now, though. The long walks in the rain are losing their magic right about now.
Sounds like your day was far more relaxing and soothing to the soul.
I have such a completely opposite life from most of pop culture. No regular TV (only Netflix vetted carefully,) which means no commercials, no news, no politics, no sports, no gossip shows or Housewives of Whatever City-type things. No drinking, just a nice quiet existence - low stress, plenty of good home-cooked food and lots of outdoor time. I avoid drama - such as drinking events always are.
It can be Spring any time now, though. The long walks in the rain are losing their magic right about now.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Sometimes because of work or family obligations I find myself in a room full of people on their way to getting hammered.
What I do is socialize and once the noise level starts to rise I take off.
Then the next day if there's gossip or hard feelings over something which happen the night before...
Well, I was gone before anything happened.
What I do is socialize and once the noise level starts to rise I take off.
Then the next day if there's gossip or hard feelings over something which happen the night before...
Well, I was gone before anything happened.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
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Smooth move, Sassy ~
I'm in the luxurious position that can go with getting older. I don't do much of anything out of obligation. So, when the going gets tough, this Dude makes like *Donald*, and ducks out.
Well into Sobriety, I saw a Drugs/Alcohol Counselor for all of ~4 Sessions. The motivator for these Sessions was to get some new ideas - and to get heard - re: Socializing expectations. It wasn't about me, really, It was about the pressure to join in and Alcoholize. Whatever pressure a few Folks try to put on me, I just blow it off. Effortlessly. As I did yesterday. I took our Pooch to a ritzy new Dog Park down here in the Desert, and skipped all the Super Bowl TV Ads that cost a reported $5.6 Million/30 Seconds.
So, well done on spending your Day your way. As it becomes The New Normal, it feels mighty good!
Smooth move, Sassy ~
I'm in the luxurious position that can go with getting older. I don't do much of anything out of obligation. So, when the going gets tough, this Dude makes like *Donald*, and ducks out.
Well into Sobriety, I saw a Drugs/Alcohol Counselor for all of ~4 Sessions. The motivator for these Sessions was to get some new ideas - and to get heard - re: Socializing expectations. It wasn't about me, really, It was about the pressure to join in and Alcoholize. Whatever pressure a few Folks try to put on me, I just blow it off. Effortlessly. As I did yesterday. I took our Pooch to a ritzy new Dog Park down here in the Desert, and skipped all the Super Bowl TV Ads that cost a reported $5.6 Million/30 Seconds.
So, well done on spending your Day your way. As it becomes The New Normal, it feels mighty good!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Go Sassy, go! Your alternative day sounds absolutely wonderful, especially quality time with your daughter. What a wise decision to ditch Super Bowl, a joy of sobriety. I'm in the UK and haven't googled SB, but it sounds, ahem, 'mainstream popular' with the TV Ads costing so much!
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Tatsy 
Go Sassy, go! Your alternative day sounds absolutely wonderful, especially quality time with your daughter. What a wise decision to ditch Super Bowl, a joy of sobriety. I'm in the UK and haven't googled SB, but it sounds, ahem, 'mainstream popular' with the TV Ads costing so much!
Yeah, it's become mainstream with over the top halftime activities as well as flashy commercials. So even if you're not a sports fan like my wife you want to see the halftime show/commercials
The game usually starts in the late afternoon but many people begin partying around noon.
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
Thank you. It was really good for me to say no to that today. Just...
No.
I came home and they had cleaned up after themselves. I think they pictured me coming home to their chaos and made a courteous choice there, so that was good.
No.
I came home and they had cleaned up after themselves. I think they pictured me coming home to their chaos and made a courteous choice there, so that was good.
Sassy,
You have been SUCH a success and source of inspiration over the years. You said you were going to stay sober no matter what, and you did it. And I know parts of the recovery process you and I see the same way, according to your post the other day. So, I hope you take this is in the kind way I mean it. You just seem very, very angry. Even innocent children are incurring you’re wrath (“punk kids”...that made me sad), and your husband and guests don’t even get the credit for cleaning up bc you’re sure “they pictured you coming home...” Maybe they cleaned up bc it was the right thing to do at someone else’s house, especially when the wife was gone all day since she doesn’t drink anymore? It almost seems like you’re angry that they cleaned up after themselves. And if they didn’t clean up after themselves, you would’ve been angry about that. You just seem so, so mad at the world, particularly when you say you’re “over trying to make any one else happy.” Did anyone ask you to make them happy? They seemed like they were having a pretty good time together as is, right? I think what you’ve accomplished becoming sober is one of the most amazing things anyone can accomplish. But I just wish that you would be able to enjoy it more. It doesn’t seem from most of your posts that you do. I think that should be the part of the recovery process you really work on. After all your hard work, you deserve to enjoy it. We can’t change anyone else. No one could stop me when I was drinking. I think we just have to be fair to those around us and if they still get joy from it, it’s their lives. I figure in the same way they supported me when I was not my best self, I still have to support all of them even if they aren’t their best selves. It’s the least I can do. I just wish you could be happier in your sobriety. That would be the best model those drinking folks could have that it’s the way to go, right? I think you’re doing awesome. I just want you to enjoy it.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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Originally Posted by Sohard
Sassy,
You have been SUCH a success and source of inspiration over the years. You said you were going to stay sober no matter what, and you did it. And I know parts of the recovery process you and I see the same way, according to your post the other day. So, I hope you take this is in the kind way I mean it. You just seem very, very angry. Even innocent children are incurring you’re wrath (“punk kids”...that made me sad), and your husband and guests don’t even get the credit for cleaning up bc you’re sure “they pictured you coming home...” Maybe they cleaned up bc it was the right thing to do at someone else’s house, especially when the wife was gone all day since she doesn’t drink anymore? It almost seems like you’re angry that they cleaned up after themselves. And if they didn’t clean up after themselves, you would’ve been angry about that. You just seem so, so mad at the world, particularly when you say you’re “over trying to make any one else happy.” Did anyone ask you to make them happy? They seemed like they were having a pretty good time together as is, right? I think what you’ve accomplished becoming sober is one of the most amazing things anyone can accomplish. But I just wish that you would be able to enjoy it more. It doesn’t seem from most of your posts that you do. I think that should be the part of the recovery process you really work on. After all your hard work, you deserve to enjoy it. We can’t change anyone else. No one could stop me when I was drinking. I think we just have to be fair to those around us and if they still get joy from it, it’s their lives. I figure in the same way they supported me when I was not my best self, I still have to support all of them even if they aren’t their best selves. It’s the least I can do. I just wish you could be happier in your sobriety. That would be the best model those drinking folks could have that it’s the way to go, right? I think you’re doing awesome. I just want you to enjoy it.
That was super passive-aggressive, but I respect your right to make your point.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
That's great, hopefully you set a precedent and whenever they congregate to get drunk they will know it's your time to shine and do exactly what you want to do! I used to say to everyone 'of course I don't mind you drinking, please don't feel awkward drinking around me', but now I feel I don't want to be around it, at all. Not because I'm tempted, I just find it gross. So we can let them get on with it and enjoy what we want to do, win win!
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Well I won't be passive aggressive at all and I am not sure this was the intent.
Perhaps Sassy is just a bit worn out with her living situation? For many of us with long drinking careers the decisions we made years ago like who we became friends with and who we married were tainted by the booze. Then we have children, plus other responsibilities and commitments and we stop drinking. But everyone else around us is still drinking. Now what?
Perhaps Sassy is just a bit worn out with her living situation? For many of us with long drinking careers the decisions we made years ago like who we became friends with and who we married were tainted by the booze. Then we have children, plus other responsibilities and commitments and we stop drinking. But everyone else around us is still drinking. Now what?
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Join Date: Oct 2017
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
That was super passive-aggressive, but I respect your right to make your point.
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Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Well I won't be passive aggressive at all and I am not sure this was the intent.
Perhaps Sassy is just a bit worn out with her living situation? For many of us with long drinking careers the decisions we made years ago like who we became friends with and who we married were tainted by the booze. Then we have children, plus other responsibilities and commitments and we stop drinking. But everyone else around us is still drinking. Now what?
Perhaps Sassy is just a bit worn out with her living situation? For many of us with long drinking careers the decisions we made years ago like who we became friends with and who we married were tainted by the booze. Then we have children, plus other responsibilities and commitments and we stop drinking. But everyone else around us is still drinking. Now what?
well, she ended with “I’m sure they all liked me better...”. If you’re asking what the intent was, it was clearly to vent, right. Which I completely understand her wanting to do. She’s every right to do and it completely makes sense. But I could be another poster that said oh that sucks or I could say what I really feel, which is that she seems very angry and I would work on that if I would her. Of course Sassy is 100% understandably “worn out”, as you said. But not recognizing she’s starting to lash out unfairly or be bitter doesn’t help anyone. This is something I’ve noticed in the post with multiple posts, that’s concerned me, so I decided to bring up in the hope that it helps. And I hope that it does.
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