I almost just went for a bottle.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: michigan
Posts: 23
I almost just went for a bottle.....
I haven't drank for 2 days now...I really want to stop....I was just craving a drink and actually went looking all over the house to see If I had any more stashed!!!! I found empty bottles hidden, but no booze!!! HOW PATHETIC!!! It is not even NOON!!! I was thinking that I'd go to the store and get a bottle of wine,JUST to have one drink to get me through. (I know that I can't trust myself...i'd drink the whole thing......THEN probably drive drunk to get more...and end up drunk and trying to hide it when my kids get home....) NO MORE!!!! I took a litte bit of an herb called valerian that works like valium...sat down with a cigarette......and well, I'm still here and did'nt give in. I am sick of living with the shame and guilt. I know that when I drink, i numb myself of those feelings but end up with more shame, guilt, and self-hatred. I'm beginning to get a killer headache, but I guess that is going to be par for the course. I'm sure it will get worse, but I'm just going to go one day at a time.....Thanks to all of you for opening your hearts and sharing your stories...it feels good to know I'm not alone!
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hi Charisma,
Well done, it's great that you resisted. It's so much easier, isn't it, the day after to be all shameful and upbeat about never drinking again...it's on day 2 as you say, that it starts to get that bit harder.
Have you tried AA meetings? It's amazing how many are around the place. I've not been yet, but judging from the results the people I have been reading are getting, it sounds like a good bet!
The thought, for me, of doing it alone is just too awful to bear. I am glad there is a place that people like us can go to for support. Perhaps you should try it?
Good luck,
Cathy
Well done, it's great that you resisted. It's so much easier, isn't it, the day after to be all shameful and upbeat about never drinking again...it's on day 2 as you say, that it starts to get that bit harder.
Have you tried AA meetings? It's amazing how many are around the place. I've not been yet, but judging from the results the people I have been reading are getting, it sounds like a good bet!
The thought, for me, of doing it alone is just too awful to bear. I am glad there is a place that people like us can go to for support. Perhaps you should try it?
Good luck,
Cathy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: michigan
Posts: 23
Thanks Cathy...
I was just reading some of your posts and know that you are on your way to find a meeting near you...GOOD LUCK...and as i think someone said, "make sure you get out of the car!" haha.....I have been thinking about finding a meeting near me as well, I am afraid to go alone (like so many others have said) but I also would like to find a group that is only women.... I have this feeling that I wouldn't feel safe in a group with men.
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
HEY CHARISMA, 
GOOD YOU DIDN'T GIVE IN TO THOSE CRAVINGS.
LIKE CATHY SAID TRY AND GET TO A MEETING.
I KNOW THERE ARE PLENTY OF WOMEN IN THE MEETINGS HERE.
IF NOTHING GO THERE AND GET A MEETING LIST,SEE WHAT YOU THINK.
I NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE DYING OF A.A.
NOT SO WITH DRINKING.
YOU CAN DO IT.......................ted
GOOD YOU DIDN'T GIVE IN TO THOSE CRAVINGS.LIKE CATHY SAID TRY AND GET TO A MEETING.
I KNOW THERE ARE PLENTY OF WOMEN IN THE MEETINGS HERE.
IF NOTHING GO THERE AND GET A MEETING LIST,SEE WHAT YOU THINK.
I NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE DYING OF A.A.
NOT SO WITH DRINKING.
YOU CAN DO IT.......................ted
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hi Charisma...I found the place, thank God! (now just to get out the car at 8.30pm tonight!)
I think Ted is right, just try one out, I bet it's half women and then ask from there.
I'm SO glad you resisted your urge to drink...if you had gone for that just one bottle then yes, you would have driven drunk to get the second one...cause that's what I did yesterday. And then having to hide it and lie and be deceitful and feel WEIRD and disconnected and out of sorts! Why do we want that - it's strange!!!
I hope I am going to find some answers in AA...good luck!! Try find a meeting as a starting point, ok?
Let us know how you get on and good luck!!
Cathy
I think Ted is right, just try one out, I bet it's half women and then ask from there.
I'm SO glad you resisted your urge to drink...if you had gone for that just one bottle then yes, you would have driven drunk to get the second one...cause that's what I did yesterday. And then having to hide it and lie and be deceitful and feel WEIRD and disconnected and out of sorts! Why do we want that - it's strange!!!
I hope I am going to find some answers in AA...good luck!! Try find a meeting as a starting point, ok?
Let us know how you get on and good luck!!
Cathy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 425
Hi; Glad that you stayed home today. Have you heard about the HALT theory?
When you feel like using ask yourself what emotions you are feeling or what it is you are going through. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. If you can relate to any of these then try to take care of it immediately. I know its hard to get in touch with feelings and emotions after numbing them for so long. I remember when I went into treatment and they asked me what I was feeling. I didn't know, I couldn't even give them an answer.
Please take care of yourself Val and talk to your HP. Not the one we learned of before, but the real one who is nonjudgmental, fogiving, and has unconditional love.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Love Diana
When you feel like using ask yourself what emotions you are feeling or what it is you are going through. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. If you can relate to any of these then try to take care of it immediately. I know its hard to get in touch with feelings and emotions after numbing them for so long. I remember when I went into treatment and they asked me what I was feeling. I didn't know, I couldn't even give them an answer.
Please take care of yourself Val and talk to your HP. Not the one we learned of before, but the real one who is nonjudgmental, fogiving, and has unconditional love.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Love Diana
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: michigan
Posts: 23
Halt??!!
Thanks so much!! I just sat down at 6:45 p.m. to eat for the first time today!! I was cooking dinner and craving a stupid drink....thinking to myself that I know a lot of my cravings come from my blood sugar getting so low. I know that i'm hypoglycemic, but I don't eat regularly. Thanks for the chat this morning, for caring, and for the kind words!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hang in there...
This stuff is so hard to do alone... try to get to a meeting. They may have a womens only meeting in your area.
There are many beautiful women around here, check out our womens forum.
We have womens meeting here "on-line" tommorow, it would be great if you could come.
I slipped not too long ago and dam it is hard to get back in the saddle, but I know it is the only choice I can make if I am going to live.
To make a long story short the other night I decided to get a bottle of vodka and get numb and dumb...
I was walking home and something just broke inside me and I knew that I really did not want to go there any more, I just could not do it.
Oh ya, my addictive brain was trying very hard to get me to at least drink this one bottle of booze, don't waste it for hecks sake!!!
I walked in the house and handed the bottle to my husband and asked him to pour it out, which he glady did.
It may not seem like much to some, but to this gutter drunk it was a major victory over my addiction
nomaste'
This stuff is so hard to do alone... try to get to a meeting. They may have a womens only meeting in your area.
There are many beautiful women around here, check out our womens forum.
We have womens meeting here "on-line" tommorow, it would be great if you could come.
I slipped not too long ago and dam it is hard to get back in the saddle, but I know it is the only choice I can make if I am going to live.
To make a long story short the other night I decided to get a bottle of vodka and get numb and dumb...
I was walking home and something just broke inside me and I knew that I really did not want to go there any more, I just could not do it.
Oh ya, my addictive brain was trying very hard to get me to at least drink this one bottle of booze, don't waste it for hecks sake!!!
I walked in the house and handed the bottle to my husband and asked him to pour it out, which he glady did.
It may not seem like much to some, but to this gutter drunk it was a major victory over my addiction
nomaste'
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: toronto, ontario, canada
Posts: 224
Gee Kel Kel. I have been there. At least twice in the past 5 months I went to the wine store only to throw the entire bottle still corked down the garbage shute. I guess I just like wasting my money but it is better to waste the money than to have drank.. We are insane at times.
Charisma, hang in there. Today is a new day.
Charisma, hang in there. Today is a new day.
slowing it down a notch......
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: MI
Posts: 42
Fleas!!!!!!!!
Charisma....
After a long day of battling fleas...LOL..I almost grabbed a beer from the 6 pack my boyfriend brought home. Its almost 11 p.m. and I have stopped myself even though the urges were strong. My brain kept saying..."have a beer...unwind" but I tried to think about my kids and how they would feel and also how I would feel when I get up to work tomorrow morning.
You know that you can message me anytime...my puter is on almost around the clock and I pass it by frequently (its in my front dining area)
My kids are going to my ex's tomorrow night, that could be a tough one for me.
No kids usually means drinking.
Hope everyone is safe and sober tonight.
Happy Thanksgiving.
After a long day of battling fleas...LOL..I almost grabbed a beer from the 6 pack my boyfriend brought home. Its almost 11 p.m. and I have stopped myself even though the urges were strong. My brain kept saying..."have a beer...unwind" but I tried to think about my kids and how they would feel and also how I would feel when I get up to work tomorrow morning.
You know that you can message me anytime...my puter is on almost around the clock and I pass it by frequently (its in my front dining area)
My kids are going to my ex's tomorrow night, that could be a tough one for me.
No kids usually means drinking.
Hope everyone is safe and sober tonight.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
