I stuffed up again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 343
I stuffed up again
Stuffed up again, nearly 5 months and still no job and I used my birthday and the lead up to it as an excuse to drink, honestly I dont know what is wrong with me since drinking delays everything and lowers my already extremely low self confidence even further. And I guess my self confidence must show in job interviews since I have had so many and noone wants me and I am basically dependent on my Dad and a friend moneywise I dont know what my options are anymore.So again day one and feeling physically and emotionally like crap and more insecure and older then ever. Think I have to harm minimise.....until I am fully detoxed from a 3 day bender......it was only 3 days but feeling crook as anything.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I'm sorry you relapsed and are in a tough place. Suggest trying something different this time, find a support group like AA. It saved my life and while I disliked it at first, now I am so grateful. A big hug.
Duck Duck Goose!
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 325
Being unemployed and going through job interview after job interview is very hard on people. Depending on what you are looking for, it can take a very long time. Maybe doing work outside your chosen field might help you, both with money and self confidence?
As I’m sure you already know, the drinking doesn’t help your situation. Drinking depresses people, and lowers self esteem. Have you heard of the book This Naked Mind? I’m finding it helpful to explain why we do things like this to ourselves.
Anyway, good luck. Work on not drinking and I’ll bet the rest will start to fall in place (or at least look better to you).
As I’m sure you already know, the drinking doesn’t help your situation. Drinking depresses people, and lowers self esteem. Have you heard of the book This Naked Mind? I’m finding it helpful to explain why we do things like this to ourselves.
Anyway, good luck. Work on not drinking and I’ll bet the rest will start to fall in place (or at least look better to you).
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Sidney14 
Stuffed up again, nearly 5 months and still no job and I used my birthday and the lead up to it as an excuse to drink, honestly I dont know what is wrong with me since drinking delays everything and lowers my already extremely low self confidence even further.
Regarding your question above - are you really sure you "honestly don't know" what's wrong with you? You pretty much give the answer right there in your post. Drinking alcohol is the problem of course - and what's wrong with most of us ( me included ) is that I'm an alcoholic. AKA - if I drink alcohol, there will be bad consequences every time guaranteed. It's not really fair and most people aren't that way, but I am and have accepted that. That allowed me to do something about it - which I hope you can do too.
How you go about accepting that fact is a personal decision- some people follow a very structured program like AA where the program itself lays out a clear path to surrender/accept the concept that alcohol is not something you can control in the long run. Others use more personalized methods like AVRT. Some use therapy to help them get there. There's really no right way to do it, and some use a combination of multiple methods. But the bottom line is that you have to accept the fact that if you drink alcohol, bad things will always happen - and that not drinking alcohol is a choice you can make.
Regarding all of the other issues in your life - and we all have them - it's important to also know that while quitting drinking itself will not solve them. But you do have to stop drinking first in order to manage/fix/improve them.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Personally, I never needed an excuse to drink. Sunrise would be enough.
I also suffered from low self esteem while drinking. Well, in fact, I had no self esteem while drinking.
Everyone was better than me, they weren't a drunk like I was. I truly believed that. So why not get drunk?
This went on for years. In fact, until after I had some sober time.
I felt inferior to those who had more sober time than I did.
Now ten years sober, I've found my place in life. I feel comfortable in my own skin.
Drinking like I did, daily and heavily, put me in a state of suspended animation. I couldn't mature because I was always drunk. And that's all I was a drunk. For thirty years.
Don't be too hard on yourself. I've been in worse situation than yours's and survived and I know you can, too.
Stop drinking by whatever means necessary. Believe in yourself. You matter.
I know I just existed for a long time. Drunk. Now I'm not. I am happy, sober and free.
You can be, too. Work at it. I'm pulling for you.
I also suffered from low self esteem while drinking. Well, in fact, I had no self esteem while drinking.
Everyone was better than me, they weren't a drunk like I was. I truly believed that. So why not get drunk?
This went on for years. In fact, until after I had some sober time.
I felt inferior to those who had more sober time than I did.
Now ten years sober, I've found my place in life. I feel comfortable in my own skin.
Drinking like I did, daily and heavily, put me in a state of suspended animation. I couldn't mature because I was always drunk. And that's all I was a drunk. For thirty years.
Don't be too hard on yourself. I've been in worse situation than yours's and survived and I know you can, too.
Stop drinking by whatever means necessary. Believe in yourself. You matter.
I know I just existed for a long time. Drunk. Now I'm not. I am happy, sober and free.
You can be, too. Work at it. I'm pulling for you.
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