Holds1325

Morning everyone,

It's been awhile since I've posted here. I've been sober for about a year and a half now. I went through a divorce and ended up losing alot of weight and now am a long distance runner, I follow a vegan diet etc.

Anyhow I ended up having a huge panic attack over vacation almost a month ago and now am suffering from some pretty bad anxiety basically daily now. Before this happened I made alot of strides in my sobriety and was able to overcome alot in 2018, but now I feel like my resolve is being tested.

I have alot of anxiety, alot of depression and whats the first thing I want to turn to? Alcohol. In the past I would have huge panic attacks and racing thoughts and alcohol did the trick of turning those thoughts off and allowing me to continue my life however, I had to keep drinking to keep those thoughts turned off. I know thats not the answer and I'm doing more to get myself healed from this but its so hard to not just turn to drinking again just to get my nerves to calm down.

I have an appointment with a Therapist on Monday and we will discuss possible treatment. I also got checked up by a regular GP and she said I was fine but that I need to eat more often to help with the stress. It's hard for me to eat again and I'm dropping weight.

Thanks for listening.

doggonecarl

I think this will help you a lot. In the short term (this weekend coming up) I hope you can remain strong and sober.

Gettingcloser

A year and a half is awesome!
I have been sober since May 29th 2018 and I continue to go through obstacles that if I was still drinking I would be drinking right now but for some reason it finally got through to me that drinking makes everything so much worse!!!!!

You know that you will take that first drink, maybe feel a slight change in your brain and then it is downhill from there. One drink turns into a blackout and then the horror waking up and it all comes back to you what you did.
A year and a half down the drain. If you pick up again then that is how you will be dealing with your anxiety and depression because it will be so much worse.

Step up your self care. Lots of sleep, massages, yummy food, good company, a great movie. Really early nights if you have to until you are back on your game.

I love to think that I will be at a year and a half soon!

Holds1325

Yep this is why I'm posting here. It was really difficult staying sober that long but it got easier over time. However before this whole ordeal happened, I actually had some pretty bad cravings. The times I get cravings the worst are when I'm actually feeling really good for awhile and then usually something happens thats there to test my sobriety. I feel like this is one of those times.

ardy

why do we think or behave the way we do.. mmm

partly its the drinking from the past how you hid it or thought you were hiding the problems.. maybe.
partly because of how you were raise to hid things or not admit there was a problem.. mmmm

or partly the jobs you have had in the past. yep.. I have hair on my back standing up . because of something that we have found to be true at work.. and its a problem that can not and probably will never be addressed to correct the why how come and what for..
so now that I have said that. yep I am the over thinking female that is just to stressed out that thinks things will happen before they do. maybe they will maybe they won't..
but in 15 years of being back home I have found not once but twice the remains of a human. and have had it brushed off as not important and then the body shows up when things outside start to go to spring.. just do not want to find that again in my life time.. just ekekkekekek ok my whine.. put ice cream with it and shake a bit.. purple...

ardy

wish I was closer good cook ask my eddie lee and he looks like it to. prayers kiddo and hope for a better tomorrow..