one year today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 60
one year today
I'm sitting here thinking about my life a year ago. My business was falling apart, I was going into winter without a financial cushion, my wife was starting to hint, strongly, that I had a problem and that she was going to call the card that I had gave her when we got married, that if my drinking was bugging her I would quit. everything else it was take me the way Im am or lets just go our separate ways before tying the knot . I had gotten to drinking to blackout 7 days a week that was about to explode when winter hit. I knew I would be drunk by noon every day if something didn't change. it had hit critical mass.
today Im happier, my health is way better, Im heavier but my brain is clear. and my business has doubled. I still have to watch for the depression to roll back in seems like it comes in waves. I still get that hit once in a while while the family and inlaws are drinking that maybe I can have just one. but then I remember how many times I tried to stop and couldn't, dont know why this one took but it did, I did lose out on some friends and an uncle that I used to drink with and build **** with. I tried hanging with them a few times, I had my quart of water that I had always had for water back, just wasn't shooting the shots, but it made them uncomfortable. but thats life. they didn't get that I QUIT FOR ME didn't mater what happened. it was my problem, I had to solve it, and nobody could help me or hurt me unless I let them.
anyway way this site has made this doable I come here and read quite often, sassys threads have kind of been my map to prepare for whats coming next.
nulumeanszero posted something when I was at the bottom of a valley and was planning on starting drinking again when it came up I sat at my computer and cried as I read through his thread. you never know when something that is written here will be that last bit of help for someone in the dregs of despair and about ready to give up.
but all the wins and losses posted up help so thank you all
today Im happier, my health is way better, Im heavier but my brain is clear. and my business has doubled. I still have to watch for the depression to roll back in seems like it comes in waves. I still get that hit once in a while while the family and inlaws are drinking that maybe I can have just one. but then I remember how many times I tried to stop and couldn't, dont know why this one took but it did, I did lose out on some friends and an uncle that I used to drink with and build **** with. I tried hanging with them a few times, I had my quart of water that I had always had for water back, just wasn't shooting the shots, but it made them uncomfortable. but thats life. they didn't get that I QUIT FOR ME didn't mater what happened. it was my problem, I had to solve it, and nobody could help me or hurt me unless I let them.
anyway way this site has made this doable I come here and read quite often, sassys threads have kind of been my map to prepare for whats coming next.
nulumeanszero posted something when I was at the bottom of a valley and was planning on starting drinking again when it came up I sat at my computer and cried as I read through his thread. you never know when something that is written here will be that last bit of help for someone in the dregs of despair and about ready to give up.
but all the wins and losses posted up help so thank you all
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Congratulations on tough one year!!
I looked back on your posts and it looks like I posted in one of your threads in december. Out of curiosity, did you remain on the antabuse, or were you able to stop taking it? It never worked for me. I was always using it when I didn't want to quit, so go figure.
I am heavier too; although it's nothing I can't fix in 2-3 months. I also have had friends drift away. They haven't left, exactly: they are just different with me, like they don't know what to say, or how to arrange a get together because not drinking is so foreign to them. They do still message me, and awkwardly try to come up with things I might want to do...they are very old friends and not going anywhere, but oy, I need more sober friends.
Glad you made it to a year!! Not many people do: be proud of yourself and grateful your life is shifting into something better. It takes time.
I looked back on your posts and it looks like I posted in one of your threads in december. Out of curiosity, did you remain on the antabuse, or were you able to stop taking it? It never worked for me. I was always using it when I didn't want to quit, so go figure.
I am heavier too; although it's nothing I can't fix in 2-3 months. I also have had friends drift away. They haven't left, exactly: they are just different with me, like they don't know what to say, or how to arrange a get together because not drinking is so foreign to them. They do still message me, and awkwardly try to come up with things I might want to do...they are very old friends and not going anywhere, but oy, I need more sober friends.
Glad you made it to a year!! Not many people do: be proud of yourself and grateful your life is shifting into something better. It takes time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 60
I did the antabuse for 2 months then when I would feel myself heading into a low stretch I would take it for a couple of days by the time I was ready to pay a doc and admit. I had a problem, I wanted help, and I wanted to stop. that was a months worth of booze money. haven't had any for probably 9 months for me it helped but for most it doesn't seem too. and I really did not want to drink myself to death last winter
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by cruiser1911 
I did the antabuse for 2 months then when I would feel myself heading into a low stretch I would take it for a couple of days by the time I was ready to pay a doc and admit. I had a problem, I wanted help, and I wanted to stop. that was a months worth of booze money. haven't had any for probably 9 months for me it helped but for most it doesn't seem too. and I really did not want to drink myself to death last winter
any one of us could have continued dangerous levels of binge drinking with rationalization and denial and wound up dead. Thousands of adults of all ages die from this every year.
We made it out.
Congrats!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
