Struggling
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
hello and welcome.
That might not be a bad analogy.
I was on a downward spiral at the end, drinking all day and night.
It took action to quit. You've posted here, that's a good start.
How much are you drinking? And for how long? If I may ask.
You'll find a lot of support here so stick around.
Best to you.
That might not be a bad analogy.
I was on a downward spiral at the end, drinking all day and night.
It took action to quit. You've posted here, that's a good start.
How much are you drinking? And for how long? If I may ask.
You'll find a lot of support here so stick around.
Best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 
hello and welcome.
That might not be a bad analogy.
I was on a downward spiral at the end, drinking all day and night.
It took action to quit. You've posted here, that's a good start.
How much are you drinking? And for how long? If I may ask.
You'll find a lot of support here so stick around.
Best to you.
That might not be a bad analogy.
I was on a downward spiral at the end, drinking all day and night.
It took action to quit. You've posted here, that's a good start.
How much are you drinking? And for how long? If I may ask.
You'll find a lot of support here so stick around.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
okay, that's about what I was drinking at the end. And it DID take control over my life.
The decision to drink was no longer up to me, I HAD to drink.
I lived like that for ten years.
All the guilt, remorse and anxiety every day wondering how could I do it again?
I went to AA where I met people like me. I came here for the same. I wasn't alone.
And, there were people willing to help.
You're not alone. I understand. I've been there.
You can quit. You may have to take the bull by the horns and take action, but you can quit.
I was a raving alcoholic for twenty five years and it's been nine and a half years since I've taken a drink.
You can do it, too.
The decision to drink was no longer up to me, I HAD to drink.
I lived like that for ten years.
All the guilt, remorse and anxiety every day wondering how could I do it again?
I went to AA where I met people like me. I came here for the same. I wasn't alone.
And, there were people willing to help.
You're not alone. I understand. I've been there.
You can quit. You may have to take the bull by the horns and take action, but you can quit.
I was a raving alcoholic for twenty five years and it's been nine and a half years since I've taken a drink.
You can do it, too.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
It's great to have you with us, Kourt - welcome to an encouraging place.
I was drinking all day when I found SR, & it had been going on for years. It was stealing my life. I was numb & foggy much of the time. I don't know why I was so afraid to let go of it. When I came here I no longer felt alone - everyone understood. I hope it helps you to talk things over with those who care.
I was drinking all day when I found SR, & it had been going on for years. It was stealing my life. I was numb & foggy much of the time. I don't know why I was so afraid to let go of it. When I came here I no longer felt alone - everyone understood. I hope it helps you to talk things over with those who care.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I'm not sure how kind this is, but it's truth: It sounds to me like what you need to do is stop drinking before you start racking up major negative consequences that will make it much harder to stop, and will result in even more negative consequences. That's the path forward if you keep drinking, we've all been on it and beyond a point (and it sounds like you're beyond that point), there is no way out other than to quit drinking entirely.
How you accomplish that, depends on you, there are many paths back out into sunlight. One path is going to local meetings, whether they are AA or another support group. Have you tried that? Reading and posting a lot here can be very helpful. But there is no substitute for quitting drinking, and you can start that right now by deciding your last sip, whenever it was, was your last.
How you accomplish that, depends on you, there are many paths back out into sunlight. One path is going to local meetings, whether they are AA or another support group. Have you tried that? Reading and posting a lot here can be very helpful. But there is no substitute for quitting drinking, and you can start that right now by deciding your last sip, whenever it was, was your last.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome Kourt 
I'm glad you found us - I was in much the same cycl;e but I didn;t stop until I nearly killed myse;f. LIke Jeff sugegsts, you have a chance to bail out befoere that happens and I'd really take it
There's no good way to make withdrawal easy - no way I ever found anyway. Withdrawal is not pleasant but honestly I found it about as unpleasant as my drinking life in the end, and at least I knew withdrawal was finite.
Support really helps too and you'll find a lot of that here
D
I'm glad you found us - I was in much the same cycl;e but I didn;t stop until I nearly killed myse;f. LIke Jeff sugegsts, you have a chance to bail out befoere that happens and I'd really take it
There's no good way to make withdrawal easy - no way I ever found anyway. Withdrawal is not pleasant but honestly I found it about as unpleasant as my drinking life in the end, and at least I knew withdrawal was finite.
Support really helps too and you'll find a lot of that here
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
There's a better life waiting for you, kourt.
A drinking life marked by loss of control is no life at all. Start gearing up to quit. 1. Support. Here on sr, meetings, groups, whatever the support is, you'll need it. don't go it alone. 2. How will you change your routine? Hard to stay quit in the long hours of those early months without a plan. 3. Consider quitting for good. Not just one day at a time, or however long it takes to feel a bit better, or detox mode: be done for the rest of your life. Send that message to your subconscious and remind yourself with each craving.
with time, life without alcohol will not be a struggle.
A drinking life marked by loss of control is no life at all. Start gearing up to quit. 1. Support. Here on sr, meetings, groups, whatever the support is, you'll need it. don't go it alone. 2. How will you change your routine? Hard to stay quit in the long hours of those early months without a plan. 3. Consider quitting for good. Not just one day at a time, or however long it takes to feel a bit better, or detox mode: be done for the rest of your life. Send that message to your subconscious and remind yourself with each craving.
with time, life without alcohol will not be a struggle.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Kourt I can really relate to how you are feeling. I was drinking a similar amount near the end (was strictly a beer drinker), wasn't working, spent all day and night in my room on the internet, popped open my first beer within an hour of waking up, and at the end had reached the point where I couldn't live WITH or without alcohol and was contemplating suicide.
One day after my morning ritual of stepping outside for a smoke and trying to decide if I could stand another day I popped open my first beer and opened my internet browser. I just stared at the blank screen and then something compelled me to google alcohol rehab. I have had 2 open heart surgeries at Duke University Hospital and one of the rehabs on the first page of my search was part of the Duke healthcare system. My primary care doctor was part of the Duke healthcare system.
Then without a second thought I googled my doctor's office phone number and called to make an appointment for the next day. I went to see him and came clean about how bad my drinking was and that I needed help to stop. I was resistant to inpatient rehab so he set me up on a home detox plan and made a referral to Duke's outpatient rehab center that I had seen on google the day before.
That is what started everything in motion for me getting sober. One moment of clarity in what was just another bleak day of drinking. Picking up the phone and reaching out for help. That was back in April of 2013 and today just happens to be my 2,000th day of continuous sobriety (5.5 years). Just reach out for help. Call your doctor, or call a rehab facility, or show up at an AA meeting, or any combination of those (I eventually did all 3). I recommend the doctor because it worked for me plus they can determine if you need to be medically detoxed.
One day after my morning ritual of stepping outside for a smoke and trying to decide if I could stand another day I popped open my first beer and opened my internet browser. I just stared at the blank screen and then something compelled me to google alcohol rehab. I have had 2 open heart surgeries at Duke University Hospital and one of the rehabs on the first page of my search was part of the Duke healthcare system. My primary care doctor was part of the Duke healthcare system.
Then without a second thought I googled my doctor's office phone number and called to make an appointment for the next day. I went to see him and came clean about how bad my drinking was and that I needed help to stop. I was resistant to inpatient rehab so he set me up on a home detox plan and made a referral to Duke's outpatient rehab center that I had seen on google the day before.
That is what started everything in motion for me getting sober. One moment of clarity in what was just another bleak day of drinking. Picking up the phone and reaching out for help. That was back in April of 2013 and today just happens to be my 2,000th day of continuous sobriety (5.5 years). Just reach out for help. Call your doctor, or call a rehab facility, or show up at an AA meeting, or any combination of those (I eventually did all 3). I recommend the doctor because it worked for me plus they can determine if you need to be medically detoxed.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
BTW I didn't mean to leave out this site as an important factor in my sobriety. Once I was past the physical withdrawals and rehab, AA and this site have been my primary recovery plan. I had been sober before and had attended AA meetings and found the face to face support helpful, but I never worked the steps. This time I got a sponsor right away and he took me through the steps within a few months. What a difference that has made this time around. Having 24/7/365 support from this site has been a huge benefit as well, and it allows me to give support as well as receive it which is an important part of my recovery.
You can do this brother! It's like jumping into cold water, you just gotta block everything out and take the plunge.
You can do this brother! It's like jumping into cold water, you just gotta block everything out and take the plunge.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Hillsboro Oregon
Posts: 154
Kourt, I was drinking a pint 4-5 times a week. Many times I "quit" only to fall right back into my routines. I finally could not stand my self any longer and came clean with first my two best friends (one was my drinking buddy) and then my wife (who knew what I thought I was good at hiding). Telling them put the pendulum on the side of quitting. It has been hard, but it boils down to the decision I make about drinking. Sometimes it is day by dam and sometimes it is moment by moment. In the beginning I was on this site alot. It was a great help to hear from and read others who were just like me. I am 5 monthe plus 3 days sober. Best damn decision I have made for me ever. I feel better and have a better control of my emotions. I get all knotted up inside now at the thought of ever waking up feeling like garbage and looking to see if i had any left over from the previous night. Thee is only one decision to make. Anything else will leave you feeling guilty and helpless. Post and comment. It truly helps to talk about what your going through with others of similar experience.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
How's it going today Kourt? I was a daily binge drinker myself before I quit and and WD's were not fun but they only lasted a short time relative to how long I was abusing my body and mind. Quitting was the best decision I ever made though, hope you can do the same and glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Kourt -
I drank about as much as you do on a daily basis, so my whole life revolved around alcohol.
I was 31 years old and I had important body parts that had "high engine hours" on them, to borrow from your aviation metaphor, and I was miserable.
My chronic drunkenness was preventing me from realizing my personal and professional dreams.
When I got to the point of abject misery, I did what Grunge described and found a doctor to get honest with about my drinking.
He sent me to a treatment center for 35 days and it sent me to AA.
I have followed that path for a good while, and I now have a real life - not one which includes being drunk and feeling horrible all the time.
We hope that you follow that path also.
Help is out there.
Your reaching out on our forum is a great first step.
Keep us posted,amigo, we want you to have what we have found in sobriety.
I drank about as much as you do on a daily basis, so my whole life revolved around alcohol.
I was 31 years old and I had important body parts that had "high engine hours" on them, to borrow from your aviation metaphor, and I was miserable.
My chronic drunkenness was preventing me from realizing my personal and professional dreams.
When I got to the point of abject misery, I did what Grunge described and found a doctor to get honest with about my drinking.
He sent me to a treatment center for 35 days and it sent me to AA.
I have followed that path for a good while, and I now have a real life - not one which includes being drunk and feeling horrible all the time.
We hope that you follow that path also.
Help is out there.
Your reaching out on our forum is a great first step.
Keep us posted,amigo, we want you to have what we have found in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
I got to a point , like you, where I was miserable. The way I saw it I had two choices: Continue drinking and eventually kill myself or quit and be in control of my life again.
It took sometime to make the jump, but when I finally quit for good I had had enough. I've said this numerous times, but all I did is I made up my mind to quit and didn't change my mind.
That sounds over simplistic but truly that was what finally worked.
It took sometime to make the jump, but when I finally quit for good I had had enough. I've said this numerous times, but all I did is I made up my mind to quit and didn't change my mind.
That sounds over simplistic but truly that was what finally worked.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Colorado
Posts: 202
The hardest part is the first few days IMO. The cravings will go away but it takes time. That's part of the reason we say "take it one day at a time". If you make it a day without drinking you can make it two... then three... and it gets easier every day.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Kourt how are today? Hi I'm Wayne. We're here for ya. Take that first step and quit for today. We'll worry about tomorrow later. Life is better without alcohol. You gotta trust us on this. There's a lot of support and friendship here. Just don't drink. It will get easier. I promise you that.
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