Truthseeker11

.. you became just like them?

Example, my mom would fall asleep to wine then wake up in the middle of the night and drink a beer to get back to sleep and I was always horrified. This was in my 20s, now 20 years later I have done the same thing many times only with 3 beers! Or morning drinkers. Used to that the was just the saddest thing. And in the past 6 months I developed that habit, though thankfully got a handle it on it. I remember buying something like a 4 Loko at 7 am once took it home and almost puked from the taste but I chugged it down anyway cause that’s what alcoholics do.

Never ever imagined I’d be like them. I thought it was disgusting and pathetic and sad.

Awake61

I know of what you speak...in the end of my drinking I was swilling the vodka straight, any time of day. I don't drink anymore, but it took me to 62 to figure it out.
Ugh! Oh well, I'm awake now!

Ghostlight1

It is pathetic, disgusting and sad. I became it, too. Starting my drinking day off at 7am.
Doing shooters of whiskey once the liquor store opened at eight.
It came to the point where it didn't matter the time of day. If I wasn't recovering, I'd be drunk all day. I was disgusting, pathetic and sad.

I'm glad to say I don't miss those days and when I see someone doing it my heart and empathy go out to the instead of disgust. It does make me sad, though, because I know form which they came.

entropy1964

How's the quitting going?

Truthseeker11

Today was Day 1, I go to bed early when I don’t drink so before I know it will be Day 2. I have every intention of making it to Week 1. I think after that my motivation will be boosted tenfold. I’m sore all over from recent stress and the Librium I got in the ER yesterday is helping me a lot to relax and stay focused on what’s important. My mind isn’t wandering and taking me into dark places. It’s almost time that the guy I talked about will be walking home from the bar, for what? No special memories, no true closeness with anyone, poisoning his body, going home to the same lonely empty existence he created for himself. There’s nothing I missed out on when looked at from a sober perspective.

Thanks for asking, I’m hopeful. I think I can get through Day 2.

ScottFromWI

I actually looked up to people who drank I think. I started early on in life and gravitated towards people who were like me. But yeah, it was pretty pathetic in hindsight. Certainly doesn't mean you ( or I ) can't quit and live a much better life moving froward. Congrats on day 1 and hope day 2 is even better.

entropy1964

That's great Ts11. Getting help is really smart. I read in your other thread about taking a bike ride. Hope that was nice. But take it easy the first few days. It's hot here and even feeling great exercise is very dehydrating. Nurture yourself. And most of all, don't drink, no matter what. Why go through this again, right?

August252015

Good job on day one- keep going today. You can do it and we are here.

And, yes, I can relate- so many habits emerged during my drinking life that were eerily like my mom's- even ones I didn't realize she had done too til others told me. Grateful we are both sober now, and truthfully, discovering our similarities (and seeing our differences) has brought us closer.