Grateful09

Hello friends,

I know my story is not unique, but maybe in our shared experience, there is strength! I found SoberRecovery in '09, named myself Grateful09, and began to read and learn all that I could. I returned off and on over the years, and kept trying to quit drinking (for good!) I don't know how many times. My problem (besides the obvious one of problem drinking), was that I thought I could control it, if only I could find the way that would work for me. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

My latest control venture was only to drink during the work week. I've actually been successful at that for about 6 months. My husband, also a problem drinker, has done this along with me. But, there's a catch. When I would drink on the weekends, I would drink too much (yee ha! Let me at it!) I don't need to be a medical dr. to know that drying out for a few days and then dousing yourself is not good for the ol' bod. It was after one of these dousing episodes in late May that I finally hit bottom and said, I've HAD it. For real. The next day I went to an AA meeting for the first time.

And now today, for the first time in forever, I have one month sobriety. And I'm not looking back. I'm not pretending I still don't have hard days ahead, cravings and all of it, and I definitely know I'm not out of the woods yet. As sobriety goes, I feel like I still have a long way to go. Also, I have digestive issues that I have to go in and get tests for, and I'm anxious that I've screwed myself up completely. But, there are so many benefits of being one month in, that I'll just take the rest as it comes, one day at a time. Maybe it took me a heck of a long time, , but I'm here now.

Thanks to this supportive community! Even after 9 years, I am still, Grateful

SolidKarma

Congratulations! Thanks for sharing your story and hope!

Sunflowerlife

One month is beautiful! Congratulations Grateful!

BullDog777

congrats!!!!

WGlenn

Congratulations!

Anna

It's such a relief to not be trying to control your drinking, isn't it! I'm so glad that you're doing well.

Dee74

One month is great Grateful

D

MrWolfie68

Excellent Greatful.

Grateful09

That was, for sure, the biggest relief. Once I let go of "control" even being possible, and didn't have to think about how to do it anymore, I could really focus on the path to recovery. It took the options off the table, which in this case, is a good thing! Thanks.

waynetheking

Keep going and don't drink. Your doing fine!

ClearPath64

Great post Grateful, and congratulations. It may have taken 9 years, but you're here now, and the next 9 years can be wonderful. You've done the right thing.

You mentioned that you and your husband tried the controlled drinking approach together. How about this? Just curious if you are both embracing sobriety, or if there will be alcohol in the house to deal with.

Grateful09

You mentioned that you and your husband tried the controlled drinking approach together. How about this? Just curious if you are both embracing sobriety, or if there will be alcohol in the house to deal with.[/QUOTE]

That's a great question ClearPath, thank you for asking.

No, we are both NOT yet embracing sobriety, just me. My husband still does not drink during the work week, and we exercise together in the evenings. On the weekend, he drinks beer, whereas I was a Pinot gal before I quit.

This situation is not lost on us. We have talked about this a lot. The good part is that I have absolutely no wine in the house, and absolutely no desire to drink beer and never have. Even during the worst of my alcohol addiction, if I ran out of wine and had no way to get any (too drunk to drive), I would not have any of his beer. So I don't worry about the temptation, and there hasn't been any. Cravings for wine, yes, but no desire for beer as a substitute.

But the fact remains, my husband drinks too much beer on the weekend (like I used to drink too much wine on the weekend, when I tried the controlled drinking experiment), and he has acknowledged this. We just committed to continuing to talk about this. He's not ready to join AA like I have done. But he's a good man, and I think we can get through this. He has acknowledged that he needs to do something, but I don't think he's yet come to the point where he recognizes that he will not be able to just think or muscle his way out of it on his own. I had to get to that point before I was able to quit.

I know it's precarious, but it's what I've got. I've been helped a lot by the women in my AA group; lots of good ideas there about the options in my situation.

Thanks again - any suggestions or advice from you (or anyone reading this) welcome! -grateful

Kat1313

Thank you for posting your story, Grateful! Just the encouragement I needed today. Congrats on 1 month sober!

JudicatorPanzer

Thanks for your story I pray the best for your health.

fini

way to go,Grateful!

NYCDoglvr

Congratulations and a big hug!!

WeaverBird

Your post has put a smile on my face. Well done!!!

allno

That's a great question ClearPath, thank you for asking.

No, we are both NOT yet embracing sobriety, just me. My husband still does not drink during the work week, and we exercise together in the evenings. On the weekend, he drinks beer, whereas I was a Pinot gal before I quit.

This situation is not lost on us. We have talked about this a lot. The good part is that I have absolutely no wine in the house, and absolutely no desire to drink beer and never have. Even during the worst of my alcohol addiction, if I ran out of wine and had no way to get any (too drunk to drive), I would not have any of his beer. So I don't worry about the temptation, and there hasn't been any. Cravings for wine, yes, but no desire for beer as a substitute.

But the fact remains, my husband drinks too much beer on the weekend (like I used to drink too much wine on the weekend, when I tried the controlled drinking experiment), and he has acknowledged this. We just committed to continuing to talk about this. He's not ready to join AA like I have done. But he's a good man, and I think we can get through this. He has acknowledged that he needs to do something, but I don't think he's yet come to the point where he recognizes that he will not be able to just think or muscle his way out of it on his own. I had to get to that point before I was able to quit.

I know it's precarious, but it's what I've got. I've been helped a lot by the women in my AA group; lots of good ideas there about the options in my situation.

Thanks again - any suggestions or advice from you (or anyone reading this) welcome! -grateful[/QUOTE]

Your situation is very similar to mine except I love beer! But neither of us are interested in AA at all, just need to do something because we've had too many stops and starts. Today is suppose to another attempt to go 30 days or that is the goal anyway. Congrats on your 1st month down!

Grateful09

Thanks allno. My hub and I got a lot more successful when we started exercising together in the evenings. Exercising or not, I've found that having a very detailed plan for the evenings has helped us more than anything (at least during the work week; he still drinks on the weekend like I said).