sweetichick

AA has a lot to offer. Although my sponsor thinks I need a meeting everydày sometimes that is not practical. This is a carryover from my thread in the newcomers forum. I honestly go through days when I don't even think about drinking. I know if I pick up one though I can't stop till I am totally plastered. Finding it really hard. High anxiety and lack of sleep. My ex is happy with his new harem and his move to greener pastures. I am smoking again . just cigarettes. Ok story told.

lalacookee

[QUOTE=sweetichick;6846387]AA has a lot to offer. Although my sponsor thinks I need a meeting everydày sometimes that is not practical.

Yes every day, would be tricky for me. I haven't been to my first meeting yet, will go this week, but definitely nervous.
Well done for being sober so far. I am finding it hard. But like you. Its not that I'm desperate for a drink, it's more that I'm having to rediscover who I am without a drink. I'm realising, I was using alchohol to numb emotions, to escape, to relax and be sociable. For years!! So this sociable, party girl, turns out to be shy and prefers alone time. Finds socialising draining. I didn't notice how I was always using alchohol to not be my actual self!
Best of luck to you. It is hard, really hard. I'd say, go to the meetings when you can. Use the forum at difficult times. I'm also listening to an audiobook at the moment, called the unexpected joy of being sober. I'm finding this really helpful.
Im finding knowing, others understand and are going through the same process helpful. I would also suggest not smoking. That is just another crutch, and is terrible for you. It is also another form of self sabotage xx which isn't good. Im sure you'd feel better for not smoking. Best of luck to you xx it is hard, but it will get easier. Now I can see how all my other friends are dependent on alcohol actually, and my parents. None of them would give it up!

Berrybean

Sounds like a plan.

Must admit that I need solution-focussed meetings. The ones that tend to be problem-focussed and revelling in details of people's chaos rather than how they removed themselves from said chaos really don't help me much. Experience is only one part of it - if theyre all sharing that minus the strength and hope then i come back out rattley.

How many of the weeks meetings would you say are good, recovery-focussed ones that have good-quality sobriety shared in them? Perhaps you could use them, and have a weekly sponsor meeting on one of the no-meeting days and schedule in some speaker- recording listening (focussing on the step you're on) plus your individual step work (inventories etc) for the other days? Jo and Charlie aren't the only ones you can draw on. There are thousands of speakers out there. My faves are Sandy B and Earl Hightower, and some Clancy (if I'm feeling robust enough lol). https://www.recoveryaudio.org

BB

tomsteve

is your sponsor working with you on the steps?
its the steps we take, not the meetings we make, that helps up recover.

how many different meetings have you been going to?

ScottFromWI

Use whatever resources you can find Sweetichick. What your ex is doing is irrelevant, make your own path to greener pastures.

SparkleKitty

Hey sweetichick -- try to resist comparing your ex's situation to yours. Comparison is the thief of joy. As well as pretty much everything else that is positive.

Bunny211

Check out women's meetings. I found some really solid older women (50s and 60s and 70s) who I talk to daily – they offer me unconditional love and support and gentle guidance. I have found that the folks who are content and kind to others, without any agenda (not those screaming AA slogans and quoting the big book at me) are the ones I seek to emulate…and I get the most wisdom from them as well.

NYCDoglvr

I came into AA totally defeated. As my sponsor pointed out, my best thinking got me drunk so I took suggestions even if I didn't like or understand them. You don't have to be thinking about drinking to pick up a drink: it's a "cunning, baffling, powerful" disease. Be grateful for your sobriety and keep on going. Big hug!

ru12

If the meetings help you then find the time to go as often as you can. I know when I when I went I was glad that people took the time to be there. I really needed just to be with some sober people that knew what I was going through.

Anna

I'm glad that the meetings are helping you, Sweetichick!

Gottalife

Good plan SC. When I first came in the door of AA I thought anyone with more than a few days sober was amazing, and must be incrdibly honest. I was mistaken.

My sponsor told me people come to AA for all sorts of reasons. Some are actually alcoholics who come to get and stay sober. You are absolutely right to be selective, and careful, about who you associate with.

daredevil

Sweetichick,

I get the most benefit out of literature meetings. They allow me better to understand the AA program of recovery.

hellrzr

You need to stop thinking and listen to your sponsor. Your best thinking has gotten you into the predicament you are in today. From what I've read of your previous postings it sounds like daily meetings would be a very good goal for you to meet for the foreseeable future. Not always possible but a goal you should strive to attain.

Are you doing service work at the meetings? Are you arriving early and staying late? Are you going along for any dinner or any fellowship events with others in your sponsorship line? If not than you need to do those things also.

Tomsteve asked the most important question. Are you working the steps?

A person would have to be blind to not read your post and see that you are already talking yourself out of AA and back into the bottle. Again, from your many, many previous posts this is a pattern of yours. It's truly alcoholic insanity. I would wish you good luck but you don't need luck. You need to take the advice of your sponsor and work the program of AA and let the miracle work in your life!

Ken33xx

Does the sponsor understand why it's not practical? Do they want to take time off work? Put your kids with a babysitter?

Or is it a case where you have time but prefer not going?

Imo, one needs involvement in AA for it to work and for some this means going to a meeting everyday.