MindfulMan

There's a very real concept in motorcycling called "target fixation." Basically if you stare at something you're trying to avoid, you will go where your eyes go and you will hit it. If you acknowledge the obstacle or hazard and look beyond to where you want to take the bike, you will go to where you want to go rather than hitting the oil slick, tree, or whatever.

I think cravings are the same way. If you fight them, they strengthen, and you'll eventually give in. If you look at them as they are and think about sobriety, they will dissipate.

Andante

Sounds like this is more a human communication issue than a "alcoholism fight vs. surrender" issue. Perhaps try to think of ways you might be of better service to your fellow members? I've found that directing my focus away from myself and more to helping others is a sure-fire way both to feel better about myself and to open up channels of communication with others.

JeffreyAK

Great analogy! That's one of the things motorcyclists need to learn, look where you want to go, and train yourself not to look where you don't want to go, because in a panic situation you will indeed go where you look. Avoiding cravings is similar, just acknowledge them and let them pass on their way while you focus on something else.

AAPJ

When I read the original post, this was my thought too. I will add that it took some sober time before I got to where I recognized this fact. Being a drunk ... attempting to covering my tracks... constantly patching up the messes I made... now that's exhausting.

Fly N Buy

Sobriety is like driving on the highway at 70 mph and slamming on the brakes. All the stuff in the back seat comes flying forward and hits us in the head. The steps are tools to deal with that flotsam from our backseat/past. The process is painful and can be wearisome.

Early in sobriety It was enough to lay the ground work for dealing with the past by staying sober each day. I did not rush the process and reached out for lots of support both here and in the rooms. Easy does it, if you will.

There's a great little book entitled Sober Living that I found very helpful. Many have read it, likely some on this thread.

My alcoholic thinking was of an either or variety - I will or won't, yes or no - white or black. In sobriety I accept what I cannot change with the courage to know and change what I can. The world is gray in many things and it is my perception that needed adjustment.

Recovery is progressive.

Keep coming back

uncle holmes

For me it's a little bit of both fighting alcoholism and surrendering! I have to be careful though with the fighting of alcoholism. If I'm always fighting it that fighting mentality can spin out of control and carry over into other life areas that can lead to turmoil and trouble.

After I stayed sober for a while though, sobriety got easier to where it's mainly surrendering now and not much fighting. At first there were times in the beginning that I worked the program till I was blue in the face, went to lots of meetings, and still had those urges to drink!

If that's the case then it's time to get the gloves out and take it outside and go a few rounds with alcoholism! By that I mean it's time to start staring down alcoholism and plain out getting mad at it and shouting, "Darn it all I'm not going to pick up that drink and no way is alcoholism going to defeat me!"

Eventually the obsession and compulsion left me for good and I really don't do any fighting anymore! I mainly put it in God's hands now and he does the rest! Not picking up a drink gets easier over time! Hang in there and don't let alcoholism win!

Gottalife

Thanks for a great tip for my motorcycling. I can think of a couple of occasions where I have experienced that.

It also seems to parallell a thing I have heard occasionally in AA, as in focusing on not drinking is the same as focusing on drinking. One lady said her experience went like this - don't drink, don't drink, don't drink, drink.

That tallied with my experience. When I got focussed on finding the Power through the steps, I forgot all about drinking or not drinking. It just stopped occurring to me to drink. In anycase I couldn't not drink, so what would be the point in concentrating on doing the impossible?

Berrybean

Well. The period that i was working on Step 4 resulted in me experiencing some fatigue and pain. But I knew that was just one step. And that fatigue and pain wasn't coming from fighting alcoholism. It was coming from me finally working on the stuff I needed to work on from my past so that I could find some peace. As I was reminded by someone at the time, "Those promises we read out at the end of the meetings aren't third step promises. " And I could see that for those who HAD worked the steps those promises have materialised for them.

Anyway. I'm glad to exchange regular fatigue and pain as I experienced life while drinking for phases of it.

What does your sponsor say?

BB