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So hard today

Old 02-18-2018, 08:30 AM
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So hard today

Only day 3. No sleep. Grumpy. Not productive.

Big dust up with my wife last night (she is upset with me for not drinking and not "being fun").

It inspires me to see people heard sober for months. Worries me though that they still have to come back here.

really need a drink
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:42 AM
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above,
do you really need a drink? or do you desperately want one? these are very different things, and being aware of that can help.
but if you feel your withdrawals are putting you in medical danger, please go to the ER.

just to clear something up: lots of people are here after months or years sober because they want to, not have to. because they want to be of use to others, to be there for newcomers, and because they have found great value in being of help to others by sharing their experiences and solutions or just lending an ear.
i didn't "get" that when i first got sober...now i do

three days is great! keep going!
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:47 AM
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Above,

Sorry about the Mrs. It will get better -- my sleep is great now and my moods too most of the time....

Lots of people have the spouse issue, which usually means either she has an issue, because she thinks that one needs to drink to have fun, or she needs to understand that you may not be fun now but you will get there, or a bit of both .

Have you read any of the posts about rational recovery and addictive voice (AV) training -- if not you should. Works wonders.

Well if I were you, my AV would be screaming, see the Mrs doesn't think I have a problem and she sees me the most, I must not have a problem and off I would go.

But the deal is that only you can know if you have a problem, because its inside. It has outward manifistations, but the addiction is the compulsion to drink. I never had ANY physical signs of addiction, none, but I was totally compelled to drink.

For me, I have now stopped drinking for a long time, many years, but I KNOW that if I take a sip I am back at it full throttle. And therefore I don't drink and I will never quit my decision.

Once my addiction realised that I meant it, no more ever no matter what it said, the little tricky voice got weaker. Its still there every now and then, but for the most part gone because I don't feed it.

But one sip, and its all back to square one and worse.

You may want to read the sticky post about AV recognition and maybe check out the free stuff on the rational recovery website, I found it helpful. I also found the AA publication Living Sober great, as well as the Hip Sobriety Website.

I am about your age, partner in an international law firm etc etc. Addiction doesn't give a hoot who we are outside, it gets us inside. Who knows why, for me, it just is. Like I am short, have dark hair, it is.

The real key was accepting that emotionally -- I am compelled to drink and once I drink I have no control over it and therefore I control what I can. I don't drink.

For your wife, I would try not to get into it. "Honey I am doing this for me and I promise that I will be more fun than ever once I get in the swing of things... and I will be able to drive home..."

For the old-timers, we actually mostly come back to help others because we want to, and because it helps us to do so.

The only thing I know for sure, is that if you quit your decision your AV will see that as weakness and you will be even worse off in my experience.

Good luck.
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:55 AM
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We come back here because life is just life on life's terms, and posts like yours remind us how good it is to be so far away from the trap.

Alcohol is everywhere, and people with years sometimes forget the pain and the drama, and have a drink or 20, which starts everything all over again. I only have close to five months but it feels now like light years since I used a substance to cope with life.

Half hour or so on the site every day reminds us... "Wow, these people are having a rough time. Was it like that when I quit? Oh yeah, it was. It was awful. Thank God I am sober."
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:59 AM
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wow - you really put a lot of thought and work into this reply. I thank you for that.

Lots to think about

And thank you
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:29 PM
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Pleasure -- you can do this.

I was wondering if you have joined the February class on here, which is great support.

One foot in front of the other.
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Old 02-19-2018, 07:44 PM
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Just keep going. Take it one day at a time. Fun times are ahead. It's called sobriety. It's worth every once of energy you put into it. The only way to beat this is not drink. And that's ok. Because it's better on this side. We wouldn't tell you this unless it was true. Hang in there buddy. Don't drink. Eat right, drink lots of water. Take long walks. Just don't drink.
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Old 02-19-2018, 08:07 PM
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Above,

Something happened to my body as I aged.

Booze would destroy me.

When I was ready to quit, I knew it. Nobody could make me change my mind once I was convicted.

I didn't get the strength to quit alone. I prayed to my God. I am a baptized Catholic and Christian. I have my bases covered.

It is a mystery, but the desire quelled for a long time.

I swear to you.

Thanks.
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Old 02-20-2018, 12:33 AM
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Good thing is that after every dark night there is a brighter day.

Originally Posted by aboveangel1967 View Post
Only day 3. No sleep. Grumpy. Not productive.

Big dust up with my wife last night (she is upset with me for not drinking and not "being fun").

It inspires me to see people heard sober for months. Worries me though that they still have to come back here.

really need a drink
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Old 02-20-2018, 01:21 AM
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Well done, hang in there it gets better, if we don't have bad days we wouldn't know what good days are, and there will be plenty without the demon drink good luck
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