songworthsingin

Been struggling with drinking issues for at least 10 years. Last year I had two months of sobriety but relapsed at a wedding. Like many say I went straight back to the destructive patterns and life was on a hold until New year's Eve 2017 when I told my family that I am going to have a sober January. This time quitting was even harder than the last time but I am so proud to be sober and I intend to keep on troddin the sober road. One thing that is bothering me is that my wife won't support my decision much since she herself is a drinker. We are trying to get pregnant and it's been more than two years without getting a baby. I try to encourage her that she should try a sober period of time but she is very much in denial. It is frustrating that we are even in a program to get pregnant where it's required to be sober and not smoking but I guess she is in denial. Anyway I'm trying not to let her decision about drinking influence me but God knows it is hard to stay sober with a partner that still drinks at home. I haven't gone to any meetings this time around but I am planning on going and pick up my 30 day chip in a couple of days when I'm in a city that has meetings. My current town don't have meetings but it sure has an active drinking community lol. I am a musician and I haven't been playing music for months now. Today when my inner alcoholic (av?) Tried to tell me I can moderate my drinking I really struggled with the desire/compulsion and arrived at the insight that when I drink I don't do much productive and early recovery is going to get me back to my inspired productive mode if I just keep on not drinking. It's been a month of much self-pity tiredness fatigue and frustration but it's also been a month where I've been present when I've spent time with my kid from a previous marriage. I am going to start running when I get the money for running shoes and I pray that my inspiration for music return in due time. I thank my Higher Power Jesus Christ for letting me be sober and I pray that I will return to the inspired man I was before my addiction took away so much from me both mentally and physically. This weekend I am going to a concert with a wonderful artist but I am a bit concerned about the hours before the show because I am going with my wife and I know she will be having drinks. I just pray that my faith and willpower can allow me to focus on me and my sobriety and that I can enjoy a nice evening sober despite the fact that my woman will be drinking. I pray that we will be pregnant soon so we can have a new start of life without drinking and all the drama that comes with it. Now I am going to the store to pick up some nice fruits because I've noticed that a big part of feeling good in recovery is to eat healthy. I've also quit cigarettes which makes me happy. I notice that these 30 days been healing me quite good physically but now it's time to work with the mental spiritual side of thingsm. May God help and bless all of you in your struggles and I give thanks for this supporting environment. Have a nice week and keep doing what makes you stronger and happier.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back song, congrats on 30 days sober. It's difficult to do so when you have a spouse/SO that is not - but it's definitely possible.

Regarding your plans to try and get pregnant, remember that it takes 2 to make a baby, right? Sounds to me like she's definitely not ready for the responsibility of bearing a child if she' still drinking and smoking - and lying to the very people who are trying to help her do so. Do some reading up on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome if you'd like some information on what the possibilities might be.

Ken0331

I'm with Scott on this one.

rolliby

I struggle as well with a full-blown alcoholic spouse, and I had a year sober before relapsing twice last year. Nearly 2 months sober again - and just sat through another lonely weekend with him next to me; drunk. No experience with any success in this department except for my own sobriety. I think I'll start going out in the evenings and take dance lessons or something.

Dropsie

Most people stop instantly when they find out they are pregnant even if they drank during fertility treatment.

Doesn't make a lot of sense, but they say its so.

So it REALLY depends on what the pattern is etc.

Yad2LohoclaOn

Welcome Song!

Congrats on the time sober. I see in your post an INTERNAL awakening to change. That’s HUGE! The only way things will change if you are ready, want them to and willing to put in the work. Not drinking alcohol is only a part of the problem, for me it was my escape from problems that were still there in the morning. Even after a fifth of vodka a day. If you really want this, you need to commit to finding your vision of where you want to be and who you want to be; then you have to put things into Action. Even small steps eventually will get you where you want to be. But it's up to you; you have to be the driving force for change in your life and support from others and support programs will be instrumental in your recovery. Take it one day at a time...don’t focus on the future.

When at the pre-concert festivities...don’t hesitate to whip out your phone and bring up your post to read. Keep yourself aligned.


Keep coming back...the people here are awesome!

waynetheking

Congrats on 30 days and keep going. It gets better!!

Dave42001

Great job on 30 days!! 60 is right around the corner.. take it one day at a time!! Wishing you the best!!