BullDog777

I was just sittin here thinkin, I wonder how many of the people I went into rehab with are still sober.

After I got out of ICU and was stable, I remember showing up with 28-31. I remember 10 completing the program and only 4 did it with no relapses once I was released from IP to IOP over 4 months.

I wonder whatever happened to them....or so many others i'm starting to remember.

The rehab asked me to come back and speak and I told them no way. I don't like public speaking.
I kinda regret doing that now. I wonder if i could have gotten an update on any of them.

I think I might go to some meetings sometime. I don't really know why...I'm not suffering at all. In fact, things are pretty awesome, but I'm missing something.

I think I miss relating in person to other people. An that's weird, man. Really. For me, I'm known for staying away from people at all costs if I can help it.

I dunno...maybe this is another growth spurt about to happen.

Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone!!

Dee74

Merry Christmas BD & all the best for your journey on 2018

D

BullDog777

you too D. thanks for everything.

Dropsie

BD,

Merry Christmas.

Everyone, even solitary people, need some contact. I also wonder from your post if you are feeling a kind of survivors guilt, why was I able to do this when so few can? Why wasn't it harder for me? Why are the others still suffering?

I totally understand this, combined with just simple curiosity about how your partners in arms have fared.

To the extent its guilt of some kind, my advice is not to go there. We were all dealt the card of alcoholism, which is hard enough, try not to add any form of guilt on top of it.

But I wonder if you should get up your courage and go speak or do a Q and A at the rehab and use it as an opportunity to assuage your curiosity. And maybe some meetings to get some human contact in controllable measures.

Everyone says don't look back, but we all do from time to time at least to gauge how far we have come.

Merr Christmas again, you are a pleasure on this site, and I am happy that you are one of the lucky ones.

BullDog777

Dropsie, you might be right...about both questions I posed. I think it's definitely worth bringing up to my therapist the next time I see her.

Thank you for the sage advice.

Maudcat

I bet the rehab would love to hear from you, BullDog.
Returning and speaking there or at meetings is a great way to be of service and to carry the message.
Speaking, while a bit scary, always gave me joy and satisfaction in both of my programs, Al-Anon and AA.

Forward12

Many fail, some concour. Don't put much stress on others and focus on yourself. You have made amazing progress! When you are ready, perhaps you can speak in front of others. Possibly just starting at AA meetings.
You've reached out here and that is to be applauded!