Am I an Alcoholic?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Southern US
Posts: 510
Am I an Alcoholic?
Well, I'm here....so I would say the answer is "yes".
I started drinking in 2006 when I met my (now) husband. Every event or get together was a reason to celebrate. At first it was fun and I felt special, but 11 years later I hate alcohol.
My husband is definitely an alcoholic. If he doesn't drink in the morning, he gets terrible shakes. Recently he went head first into our koi pond and would have drowned if I hadn't been there.
When he tries to quit, I don't drink either, and for me, it's pretty easy. I don't crave alcohol. I don't get the tremors...it's very obvious that the addiction is different for him than me.
My problem is that when *I* drink, I black out. I can say horrible things and get violent. It's like all the anger I have about him being an alcoholic and the mess it makes in everyday life comes out. My rock bottom was a few days ago and I took it out on my daughter. I don't even remember it. If it wouldn't hurt her even more, I would just end my life. She's the ONE person that I love more than anything and would never want to hurt. I'm feeling pretty low, to say the least. I woke up at 3 am this morning, anxious about life and what I've done. I decided that today I'm going to go to an AA meeting for the first time. I also think that because I grew up with an alcoholic parent, I need to go to Alanon.
My daughter (teenager) says she forgives me. She thinks it was a medical interaction. I am so done.
How does it work when husband and wife are both addicts?
I started drinking in 2006 when I met my (now) husband. Every event or get together was a reason to celebrate. At first it was fun and I felt special, but 11 years later I hate alcohol.
My husband is definitely an alcoholic. If he doesn't drink in the morning, he gets terrible shakes. Recently he went head first into our koi pond and would have drowned if I hadn't been there.
When he tries to quit, I don't drink either, and for me, it's pretty easy. I don't crave alcohol. I don't get the tremors...it's very obvious that the addiction is different for him than me.
My problem is that when *I* drink, I black out. I can say horrible things and get violent. It's like all the anger I have about him being an alcoholic and the mess it makes in everyday life comes out. My rock bottom was a few days ago and I took it out on my daughter. I don't even remember it. If it wouldn't hurt her even more, I would just end my life. She's the ONE person that I love more than anything and would never want to hurt. I'm feeling pretty low, to say the least. I woke up at 3 am this morning, anxious about life and what I've done. I decided that today I'm going to go to an AA meeting for the first time. I also think that because I grew up with an alcoholic parent, I need to go to Alanon.
My daughter (teenager) says she forgives me. She thinks it was a medical interaction. I am so done.
How does it work when husband and wife are both addicts?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Sorry for what brings you here, but the decision to get sober is one you won't regret. Having a husband that drinks makes it difficult, but not impossible. Folks struggle to stay sober with "normie" spouses.
Good. Take your daughter, since she in the same cycle.
Originally Posted by LovePeaceSushi 
I also think that because I grew up with an alcoholic parent, I need to go to Alanon.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Welcome to the forum. It can be difficult when both partners are alcoholics, but you have to focus on your recovery alone and hope he perhaps sees the light and gets sober himself.
Going to AA and alanon are great steps to start your recovery!
Going to AA and alanon are great steps to start your recovery!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Welcome LovePeaceSushi 
Liek others have said having an alcoholic spouse is a challenge but it's not a deal breaker for your own recovery.
Build up your own support network and use the heck out it
D
Liek others have said having an alcoholic spouse is a challenge but it's not a deal breaker for your own recovery.
Build up your own support network and use the heck out it
D
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
You know what? You don't need to be an alcoholic to get support and make changes in regard to drinking. Define yourself however you wish and more importantly, work on making your life what you want it to be. Al-Anon and AA are great resources as is this site and SMART Recovery and LifeRing and any number of other recovery networks.
Although we see in the movies that people in AA introduce themselves as alcoholics, it's not a requirement. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." In meetings I go to I've heard "I have a problem with alcohol," "I have a desire to stop drinking," "I'm in recovery," and "I'm not ready to say I'm an alcoholic."
Glad you're here.
O
Although we see in the movies that people in AA introduce themselves as alcoholics, it's not a requirement. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." In meetings I go to I've heard "I have a problem with alcohol," "I have a desire to stop drinking," "I'm in recovery," and "I'm not ready to say I'm an alcoholic."
Glad you're here.
O
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