AA stuff
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 812
"Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail." -- First sentence of Chapter 7 - Working with Others
My suggestion is to let your Higher Power guide you when it comes to sponsorship. Pray on it. Check your motives, and search yourself for the truth. Let God's will bring others to you instead of trying to force the situation.
My suggestion is to let your Higher Power guide you when it comes to sponsorship. Pray on it. Check your motives, and search yourself for the truth. Let God's will bring others to you instead of trying to force the situation.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
That is one of those teachings that does not come from the big book. Our job is to carry the message to the alcoholic, not wait for him to come to us. If he is the real deal the very real risk is that the obsession will come back before he has had time to figure out what he is supposed to be doing.
The new guy is not usually functioning at 100%. It was a big decision for me to work out what socks to wear. Even getting out of bed was difficult. So it would not be very helpful to leave me wallowing around trying to figure out how aa works. When that obsession returns, it could be a day or a week or a month, no one knows, I will drink.
People handed out their numbers, sure, but if the obsession was on me, it would never occur to me to call them. The guys that really helped me were the ones that got my number, and called me. I got a call the morning after my last bender. The guy saved my life. I will never forget it.
I remember it like yesterday. H e called to see how I was, I said I had just been on a four day bender, he said in the most gentle way, he thought that might happen (something he had seen many times before in others) and encouraged me back to AA that day. I never drank again.
I dont know what would have happened had he not called. It was such a profound demonstration that someone actually cared about me.
Likewise with sponsorship, several qualified sponsors made it clear that the door was open, that they were approachable. And that made it easy to ask one of them.
We carry the message to the alcholic, make sure he gets to look over our set of spiritual tools, and our job is done. He can then make an informed decision about what he or she wants to do.
The new guy is not usually functioning at 100%. It was a big decision for me to work out what socks to wear. Even getting out of bed was difficult. So it would not be very helpful to leave me wallowing around trying to figure out how aa works. When that obsession returns, it could be a day or a week or a month, no one knows, I will drink.
People handed out their numbers, sure, but if the obsession was on me, it would never occur to me to call them. The guys that really helped me were the ones that got my number, and called me. I got a call the morning after my last bender. The guy saved my life. I will never forget it.
I remember it like yesterday. H e called to see how I was, I said I had just been on a four day bender, he said in the most gentle way, he thought that might happen (something he had seen many times before in others) and encouraged me back to AA that day. I never drank again.
I dont know what would have happened had he not called. It was such a profound demonstration that someone actually cared about me.
Likewise with sponsorship, several qualified sponsors made it clear that the door was open, that they were approachable. And that made it easy to ask one of them.
We carry the message to the alcholic, make sure he gets to look over our set of spiritual tools, and our job is done. He can then make an informed decision about what he or she wants to do.
Thank you for a beautiful post. It was eye opening for me to see it this way.
PTF
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
"Take the action and let go of outcomes........" is something my sponsor used to say.
I go up to newcomers, give them my phone number and then let it go. If they call, fine. If they don't, fine.
I go up to newcomers, give them my phone number and then let it go. If they call, fine. If they don't, fine.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
I sponsor felt I was really to sponsor others several months ago.
Someone else asked me to sponsor them today. The only problem is that he was addicted to opiates for 18 years - not booze - I only used alcohol.
Someone else asked me to sponsor them today. The only problem is that he was addicted to opiates for 18 years - not booze - I only used alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Doug39
I sponsor felt I was really to sponsor others several months ago.
Someone else asked me to sponsor them today. The only problem is that he was addicted to opiates for 18 years - not booze - I only used alcohol.
Someone else asked me to sponsor them today. The only problem is that he was addicted to opiates for 18 years - not booze - I only used alcohol.
All of the above is great self-searching, but it can be really hard to be trully objective in these matters, especially when we're still relatively new to it all. Even at 3 years working the program I really need my sponsor for things like this. We're really lucky to have these critical friends - people who can help us unpack our motives without judgement. Why not take your sponsor for coffee so you can have an honest and private chat about it? If there are lessons for you to learn from either of the previous sponsees then it's worth learning them sooner rather than later. And chances are you sponsor will be putting your mind at ease anyway, and be able to tell you about some of his own experiences of sponsoring and trying to get the balance right between too much and too little help.
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