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Up n down out of control

Old 09-03-2017, 03:51 AM
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Sick n tired
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Up n down out of control

I'm 8 weeks sober n my emotions are insane. I keep making mistakes ranting at my ex then feeling desperate to make things ok. I feel out of control and pathetic n weak. I don't want to drink but I feel so unstable. I'm talking to sponsor but need support. Hate this illness how long till I grow up?
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Old 09-03-2017, 03:57 AM
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I think it's normal our brains and emotions are unstable for a while after quitting drinking. I have felt the same many times - quitting drinking did not stop me from making stupid decitions, saying things i regret, etc - Takes a while i heal ourselves and get the comfort and control inside we need.
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Old 09-03-2017, 04:01 AM
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Hi Hedd

I think we need to look at recovery in terms of how long we were drinkers...if you're like me that was years, so weeks, although great going is probably closer to the beginning of the journey...

Early recovery is a time of emotional up and downs, but I think if we accept that we can probably avoid the worst of the irritability and the outbursts.

Remember to be grateful for the good things in your life. A gratitude journal is not the worst idea if you're sometimes struggling to remember why you're staying sober

D

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Old 09-03-2017, 05:55 AM
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Great job on 2 weeks!!! It sounds like you're in the program, have you been attending meetings??

I agree with the others this is normal but it's hell too.. when I was in early recovery when I wasn't in meetings or reading recovery books, I was unemployed and I'd go see a matinee movie, it was an escape for 1.5 hours and it helped a lot..

Same with a good walk, when I'd get all twisted up I'd jump on my bike or just take a 20-30 minute walk around the neighborhood.. get the heart pumping and sweat going.. and I did both a lot..

You're doing all the right things, stay in contact with your sponsor, other sober friends, post often here in SR..

Wishing you the best!! Hang in there!! It can be rough but the payoff is worth it!! Make it to midnight and put another Win on the calendar!!!
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Old 09-03-2017, 07:30 AM
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Thank you all for your wise words. This is my second serious stint at recovery but seems so much harder this time. No pink cloud. I have felt so lonely although I have 4 kids and am a single mum. Like I have all this responsibility and all I keep doing is messing up and creating hurt for myself in regards to emotional pain. I pray it gets better today I feel pure fear, not if drinking but ov never being able to be strong happy joyous n free. Seems like I have a mountain to climb and I feel so weak. So many regrets and ov not loving myself enough to keep away from the bottle and toxic relationships. V co dependant. Iv kept busy today but inside feels full of fear. I just want to feel some self love n stop letting people get to me so much. My ex called me abusive and insane today and said I was pathetic. It hurt another ex just can't stand me even though I have a child to him. All because of my pathetic behaviour sorry but I feel so down I could just cry. And I lost my mum recently and dad years ago so I feel so alone fighting this alcoholism and the world it feels like some days.Ranting I know but so so upset right now n my sponsor is at work so thanks for letting me open up n share peps . I will do a gratitude list now need to as I have a lot to b greatful for just want the emotions to go
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:10 AM
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I know for myself, exes are exes for a reason. I just don't talk to them at all. If you have kids together, maybe the courts can require all communication to be only regarding the kids, then you can have a healthy boundary around interactions with them. Exes don't get to judge me.

I focus on the good in my life, whether that is kids, animals, small chores done well, music, sunshine, gardening.

Hang on, it gets easier! Really!
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:33 AM
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Thank you blue. Some days I get that today was a bad day. One ex is in recovery the other still drinking. I have to stop letting it get to me just seems like I'm suffering and they run away into the sunshine with their lives and just totally look down on me. Stinking thinking just need my mojo bk this is tough so much regret how badly I let myself be treated in my illness. Didn't have boundaries was pathetic. Thank god im 8 weeks away from that poison I have a chance maybe if I can get a grip of my head
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:49 AM
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You've got it. You know this will pass and that you won't always feel this way - it is difficult in early sobriety to wrangle that spinny brain.

It took me a few months until I was able to stop the obsessive thoughts, and not let them get hold of me. I kept asking God to direct my thinking. I don't torture myself with my own thoughts anymore, but it takes work and a lot of awareness!

I'd say it's okay to take a peek in that rear-view mirror every now and then, but don't stare. That's not the way you're going.

Onward, my friend.
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Old 09-03-2017, 09:18 AM
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Thanks appreciate your advice. Faith in god and a day at a time is what I intend to do. I'm done with alcohol it's consequences are horrendous. Thanks
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Old 09-03-2017, 01:41 PM
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I've been sober over 7 years and I'm more emotional now, then I ever was in the past.

I was at a movie Friday night with my wife and I teared up at a scene that my wife, who cries easily, just sat through. It was a little embarrassing, but it beats the hell out of having a crushing hangover.
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Old 09-03-2017, 03:07 PM
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hey,Hedd, whoz about sittin down and makin out a gratitude list? helped me on rough days( and still does) to get through them.
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Old 09-03-2017, 04:53 PM
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hedd, hang in there! just take it a day (or hour) at a time like me! we can do this.
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Old 09-04-2017, 05:12 AM
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Thank you all. It passed I'm feeling much better today n I didn't drink thank god. Going into my ninth week yey
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Old 09-04-2017, 09:56 AM
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Well done.

Thoughts are just thoughts. They don't have a wallet, a car, or a glass. I just look at my drinking thoughts, say, "I see you. Not drinking today." Then they fade away. The more you say no to them the less frequent they become.
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Old 09-04-2017, 11:20 AM
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I described very early sobriety as 24/7 PMS in a full moon! My emotions were all over the place but with time I got more balance. Increase meetings, talk to others in the program and just don't drink TODAY. A simple program for complicated people. Congrats on the time you do have.
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Old 09-04-2017, 11:24 AM
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That is common, my dear. After the pink cloud period, I experienced one month ups and downs too.

My advice (That worked for me) is: Respect your limits and feelings.

If your feel instable now, then don't try to walk a tightrope, respect your limits. Do not try to deal with conflicts, such as your ex, for example. Just for now, you can manage this later.

You deserve some days to organize your mind and wait to the storm pass. Trust me, just hold on some more days and this will be pass in a blink of an eye. It's just your brain reorganizing all the chemical mess caused by alcohol.

I'm cheering for your recovery and believing in you strenght! You can do it!



Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Well done.

Thoughts are just thoughts. They don't have a wallet, a car, or a glass. I just look at my drinking thoughts, say, "I see you. Not drinking today." Then they fade away. The more you say no to them the less frequent they become.
That is gold: Toughts is just toughts, we are not our toughts, they just happen.
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