help me understand what may have happened
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
help me understand what may have happened
Hi,
I’m reaching out in hops someone can help me understand what may have happened to me. Or perhaps someone may have had a similar experience. I’m 62 years
In July 2015 I quit drinking cold turkey, I was a two to four,( most time 4) beer or glass wine drinker, pretty much every day for 25 years, (there have been times when I have not drank any alcohol for weeks and months). I know my pattern of drinking is not the same as others, (but I do admit I am an alcoholic) I enjoy drinking and I enjoy the buzz that you get from drinking. After stopping in July I did not experience any alcohol withdraws at lease not right away. I have never experienced any withdraws at any time that I have sustained from alcohol. In November and December I decided to drink at some holiday gatherings same as before. Then in December I started to feel anxiety and a lot fear and terrible insomnia, I have felt this way before two other times but the feelings went away within a day or two. I was also feeling very OCD and over analyzing every little situation, causing my brain to feel like it was out of control and could not stop obsessing. I have quit drinking other times before and the longest was 6 months when I worked the night shift. I went to the doctor and he asked me what was going on and I told him MY brother just passed away and I thought I may have been reacting to the death of my brother. He asked me how much I drank and I told him my story of how much I have drank and when I stopped and when I started back up again, He never mentioned that I may be going through Alcohol withdraws. The doctor gave my some Benzo’s to help with the anxiety and Insomnia. But the feelings did not go away like before they lingered on much longer.
He told me no alcohol while taking the Lorazepam, I went ahead and stopped drinking 1st of DEC, 2015, I went back to the doctor in Jan-2016, because I was running out of Lorazepam he gave me 14 more and said that was it no more, So he decided to put me on Prozac, during the 2nd week of taking the Prozac I started to feel depersonalized hot and cold sweets at night. And during the day I felt like I was not in my own body any more. It was a very shocking experience for me. I thought I was losing my mind, I went back to the doctor and he said I was having a bad reaction to the Prozac, he told me to stop taking it and he referred me out to another clinic, I was prescribed Mirtazapine to help me sleep as I was not able to sleep unless I would take Lorazepam, I started taking the Mirtazapine 7.5mg at night and it knocked me out and let me get some good sleep and I started to stabilize and feel better right away, now a year and ½ later I’m trying to get off the Mirtazapine and having a hell of time. But what I am asking from the group is, do you think I was going through alcohol withdraws at the same time I started taking the Prozac? My deep gut feeling keeps telling me that I may have gone through alcohol withdraws from what I have been reading. But my doctor keeps telling me that I would have gone through WD’s as soon as I stopped drinking which I never did. If anyone can relate to my story please respond, it’s a monkey that has been on my back for two years now. Right now My Family and friends think it is ok for me to have some drinks, But I’m terrified to risk doing that in fear that I may experience some sort of kindling effect, It is my understanding that kindling is rare and it strikes when people who have withdrawn and then start to binge and stope drinking may get withdraws again but much worst. I am not craving any alcohol now or when I stopped drinking back in Dec-2015. I think I know deep down that I can never drink again in fear that I may have to go through the worst hell I have been through in my life up to this point. The other day we had some friends over at the house for a barbecue and they had some wine. After I was helping clean up and I grabbed a wine glass with some wine in it, I brought it up to my noise and took a sniff and all I could think of was flash backs of what I had to go through, they seem to be branded into my mind, there is not a day that I don’t think about it. Please let me know what your thoughts are?
I’m reaching out in hops someone can help me understand what may have happened to me. Or perhaps someone may have had a similar experience. I’m 62 years
In July 2015 I quit drinking cold turkey, I was a two to four,( most time 4) beer or glass wine drinker, pretty much every day for 25 years, (there have been times when I have not drank any alcohol for weeks and months). I know my pattern of drinking is not the same as others, (but I do admit I am an alcoholic) I enjoy drinking and I enjoy the buzz that you get from drinking. After stopping in July I did not experience any alcohol withdraws at lease not right away. I have never experienced any withdraws at any time that I have sustained from alcohol. In November and December I decided to drink at some holiday gatherings same as before. Then in December I started to feel anxiety and a lot fear and terrible insomnia, I have felt this way before two other times but the feelings went away within a day or two. I was also feeling very OCD and over analyzing every little situation, causing my brain to feel like it was out of control and could not stop obsessing. I have quit drinking other times before and the longest was 6 months when I worked the night shift. I went to the doctor and he asked me what was going on and I told him MY brother just passed away and I thought I may have been reacting to the death of my brother. He asked me how much I drank and I told him my story of how much I have drank and when I stopped and when I started back up again, He never mentioned that I may be going through Alcohol withdraws. The doctor gave my some Benzo’s to help with the anxiety and Insomnia. But the feelings did not go away like before they lingered on much longer.
He told me no alcohol while taking the Lorazepam, I went ahead and stopped drinking 1st of DEC, 2015, I went back to the doctor in Jan-2016, because I was running out of Lorazepam he gave me 14 more and said that was it no more, So he decided to put me on Prozac, during the 2nd week of taking the Prozac I started to feel depersonalized hot and cold sweets at night. And during the day I felt like I was not in my own body any more. It was a very shocking experience for me. I thought I was losing my mind, I went back to the doctor and he said I was having a bad reaction to the Prozac, he told me to stop taking it and he referred me out to another clinic, I was prescribed Mirtazapine to help me sleep as I was not able to sleep unless I would take Lorazepam, I started taking the Mirtazapine 7.5mg at night and it knocked me out and let me get some good sleep and I started to stabilize and feel better right away, now a year and ½ later I’m trying to get off the Mirtazapine and having a hell of time. But what I am asking from the group is, do you think I was going through alcohol withdraws at the same time I started taking the Prozac? My deep gut feeling keeps telling me that I may have gone through alcohol withdraws from what I have been reading. But my doctor keeps telling me that I would have gone through WD’s as soon as I stopped drinking which I never did. If anyone can relate to my story please respond, it’s a monkey that has been on my back for two years now. Right now My Family and friends think it is ok for me to have some drinks, But I’m terrified to risk doing that in fear that I may experience some sort of kindling effect, It is my understanding that kindling is rare and it strikes when people who have withdrawn and then start to binge and stope drinking may get withdraws again but much worst. I am not craving any alcohol now or when I stopped drinking back in Dec-2015. I think I know deep down that I can never drink again in fear that I may have to go through the worst hell I have been through in my life up to this point. The other day we had some friends over at the house for a barbecue and they had some wine. After I was helping clean up and I grabbed a wine glass with some wine in it, I brought it up to my noise and took a sniff and all I could think of was flash backs of what I had to go through, they seem to be branded into my mind, there is not a day that I don’t think about it. Please let me know what your thoughts are?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
There is nothing to be gained from drinking...it's toxic, fattening, and affects many of us very negatively. Especially as your gut is screamng at you to stay away from drinking...why would you start again?
I can tell you that I was a similar drinker in my patterns...and then one day I got to a certain age and all of a sudden, if I didn't have my two or three drinks in the early evening, my anxiety and irritability were off the charts, even if it was only delayed a couple of hours. Then when I got serious about being sober I was SHOCKED at how bad I felt...day four I barely made it off the couch. No doctor would have said I was an alcoholic or even a problem drinker...they would have been wrong.
Kindling is real. It may not affect everyone the same way, but it's real.
You have the gift of being able to hear what your body is telling you in a healthy direction...don't argue with that, yes?
I can tell you that I was a similar drinker in my patterns...and then one day I got to a certain age and all of a sudden, if I didn't have my two or three drinks in the early evening, my anxiety and irritability were off the charts, even if it was only delayed a couple of hours. Then when I got serious about being sober I was SHOCKED at how bad I felt...day four I barely made it off the couch. No doctor would have said I was an alcoholic or even a problem drinker...they would have been wrong.
Kindling is real. It may not affect everyone the same way, but it's real.
You have the gift of being able to hear what your body is telling you in a healthy direction...don't argue with that, yes?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Ariesagain, well said.
Swatchman, If any of us give sufficient detail in our stories, we can pick out the differences...but in broader strokes, your experience sound familiar to me, and I'm sure to many. The part of your story that gets me in the gut is knowing the torment you've been through, psychologically.
A lot of us have enough on our plates, biochemically, dealing OCD and anxiety and crippling depression and ADD and WhatHaveYou. There is NOTHING good that even one drink can do for our biochemical wellbeing. Don't risk it.
Swatchman, If any of us give sufficient detail in our stories, we can pick out the differences...but in broader strokes, your experience sound familiar to me, and I'm sure to many. The part of your story that gets me in the gut is knowing the torment you've been through, psychologically.
A lot of us have enough on our plates, biochemically, dealing OCD and anxiety and crippling depression and ADD and WhatHaveYou. There is NOTHING good that even one drink can do for our biochemical wellbeing. Don't risk it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sounds like a familiar story Swatchman....one most of us could tell, albeit the details may differ from person to person. Welcome to SR, I think you will find that almost all of us here reached a point where we realized that continuing drinking was not an option anymore. Well, at least not an option with a good outcome.
Kindling is very real, I've been to the ER ( hauled there from a meeting at work ) because of it. It is nothing to mess around with.
I think we all wanted to drink and not face the consequences at some point...but the reality is we cannot. I hope you stick around, there is a wealth of info here on how we've quit and how we stay quit.
Kindling is very real, I've been to the ER ( hauled there from a meeting at work ) because of it. It is nothing to mess around with.
I think we all wanted to drink and not face the consequences at some point...but the reality is we cannot. I hope you stick around, there is a wealth of info here on how we've quit and how we stay quit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Hi thanks for your comments,
I believe in what you are saying, as I started this thread I may have answered my own Questions, drinking and age have caught up to me in a way I never would have realized, and there was a price that needed to be paid.
I believe in what you are saying, as I started this thread I may have answered my own Questions, drinking and age have caught up to me in a way I never would have realized, and there was a price that needed to be paid.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Swatchman - I hope you'll stay with us. I drank 30 yrs. & was older too when I quit. I do agree that it catches up with us. I spent many years trying to moderate so I wouldn't have to quit all together - but in the end, it just wasn't worth the risk. It was no longer fun or relaxing - and I was afraid of it.
Glad to have you with us.
Glad to have you with us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Hi,
Thanks for your comments,
I have been lingering around this site since I stopped drinking, but only reading from what others have posted, as I thought that I may not have a problem, and that I would be able to continue drinking again.
Thanks for your comments,
I have been lingering around this site since I stopped drinking, but only reading from what others have posted, as I thought that I may not have a problem, and that I would be able to continue drinking again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Swatchman - I hope you'll stay with us. I drank 30 yrs. & was older too when I quit. I do agree that it catches up with us. I spent many years trying to moderate so I wouldn't have to quit all together - but in the end, it just wasn't worth the risk. It was no longer fun or relaxing - and I was afraid of it.
Glad to have you with us.
Glad to have you with us.
Thanks for your comments
I do believe in the soul, and whenever I say gut feeling I’m talking about my soul, every time I have not listen to my soul, things have turned out very bad, like you I have become afraid to drink any more.
Last edited by Swatchman; 07-12-2017 at 02:37 PM. Reason: xx
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
The fun definitely went out of it for me - after 30 yrs. of wrestling with all the horrific ups & downs - I was exhausted and ready for a new way of life. At the end of my drinking career, there was no telling where it would take me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
some good advice here swatchman
I don;t think anyone can tell you whether it was alcohol withdrawal or not.
It's my belief tho that if you can mange without alcohol in your life you're ahead of the pack by a considerable distance
D
I don;t think anyone can tell you whether it was alcohol withdrawal or not.
It's my belief tho that if you can mange without alcohol in your life you're ahead of the pack by a considerable distance
D
Last edited by Dee74; 07-12-2017 at 07:38 PM.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Medications can have different effects on people, plus given your age, time drinking, and the horrible effects you've experienced from it, it is the wise thing to keep up the good work with keeping the bottle down.
You can always speak with a therapist if you feel you might have some mental health issues that need to be addressed, and for what, if any, medications you may need.
You can always speak with a therapist if you feel you might have some mental health issues that need to be addressed, and for what, if any, medications you may need.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
Sorry you're having a tough time. I was on a similar drug as Mirtazapine years ago to quit smoking and I had the worst side effects ever.. psych drugs have all kinds of side effects, look it up..
It doesn't sound like alcohol withdraws to me, just my opinion..
I'd go back to the doctor or see another doctor and get a good full blown physical with lab/blood work and see how you check out..
Keep us updated, hope you get feeling better.. wishing you the best!
It doesn't sound like alcohol withdraws to me, just my opinion..
I'd go back to the doctor or see another doctor and get a good full blown physical with lab/blood work and see how you check out..
Keep us updated, hope you get feeling better.. wishing you the best!
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Swatchman
Hi,
Thanks for your comments
I do believe in the soul, and whenever I say gut feeling I’m talking about my soul, every time I have not listen to my soul, things have turned out very bad, like you I have become afraid to drink any more.
Thanks for your comments
I do believe in the soul, and whenever I say gut feeling I’m talking about my soul, every time I have not listen to my soul, things have turned out very bad, like you I have become afraid to drink any more.
I believe in my conscience (soul, or gut feeling). As a Christian as well, it is when I follow this and act and speak with integrity that I feel closest to God. I think it was the Dalai Lama that said that happiness is when what we think, say and do are all the same. When I lack the wisdom to discern what to do,then I can rely on the wisdom of others who I know to have wisdom and integrity (thankfully now I don't only associate with other active alcoholics for friendship it is easier to find people truly in that category).
Trouble is, as well as the voice of my conscience and the voice of wisdom in my head there is also an AV (my addictive voice). That one has NO integrity OR wisdom. It's not so bad now at over three years sober as that AV is pretty hungry and exhausted, but in the first months of stopping it was definitely the loudest in my head. Chuntering out a constant stream of nonsense that was so loud, echoing and irrational that it was hard to think clearly. Trying to argue or reason with it just made things worse. For a while it was very hard to hear my quiet conscience (I think it had become an elective mute after I'd ignored it for all those drinking years, thinking there was no point talking to me), and my wisdom was way out of shape. But I got through the confusion by learning to recognise that AV and ignoring it just as i would the demanding toddler who is screaming at me for this, that or the other in the supermarket (kind of "I know.... tell me later...wow, look over there!" And getting back to the present moment.) The head noise seemed unbearable, BUT actually I COULD bear it, and DID bear it, and it settled down gradually as I worked my recovery plan and stayed sober. Not through my strength, or 'fighting it', but by acceptance and resolving to trust God with this one or that one as the days ticked past.
Take care Swatchman, and stick close and keep posting.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
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