Getting my self to a meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 24
Getting my self to a meeting
Hey everyone..its almost 5 am now.im awake and filled with anxiety after drinking all day yesterday...thats what i do though...drink alot then black out and wake up with an anxiety attack. So i want to go to meetings and get support to quit drinking but my mind wont let me...im shy and feel awkward and embarrassed even though i know people there are in the same boat as me...this is stopping me from going though...and i feel so alone i want people to help me but im to scared to go get it...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Hey Khyzer,
Good job coming here asking for help. I know my first few months trying to go to meetings I would drive there and be afraid to walk in. So I drove home and felt guilt for that. As a member of AA I can say without a doubt you are not judged one bit going to a meeting. I would suggest going to a gender specific meeting the first few times because it is much easier to ask for help.
In the mean time, ask/post anything on your mind here so we can help support you.
Good job coming here asking for help. I know my first few months trying to go to meetings I would drive there and be afraid to walk in. So I drove home and felt guilt for that. As a member of AA I can say without a doubt you are not judged one bit going to a meeting. I would suggest going to a gender specific meeting the first few times because it is much easier to ask for help.
In the mean time, ask/post anything on your mind here so we can help support you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Yes, I was scared of going to meetings in
early recovery and esp. after spending 28
day in rehab after a family intervention
took place.
While in rehab I learned how to go to
meetings, sit and listen with willingness,
openmindedness and some honesty so
when I was released I could carry on by
myself.
Sure it was scarry for me, but, I had to
ask myself, how bad do I want to remain
sober, and the answer was, more than
anything because I surely didn't want to
return to the insanity that came along
with my addiction to alcohol.
Going to meetings helped me learn
to not only not drink each day, but
all those Step, Big Book, open discussion,
Speaker meetings taught me how to
clear away the clutter from my life.
To help me learn about defects of character,
resentments I harbored over the yrs, selfishness,
self-centeredness, removing the mask I hide
behind for so long, manipulation, control,
lies, and a whole laundry list of things that
made me over the yrs.
Once I worked thru all that cr@p and
allowed the healing process to begin,
then I started to grow and mature into
the best, healthiest person I can possibly
become and am today.
Letting go all the baggage I collected
over the yrs had become too heavy for
me to continue to carry and deal with
and alcohol had become the poisonous
source I reached for to numb, stuff down
till I could no longer handle by myself.
I surrendered and was placed into
the hands of those to help me, guide
me thru the process of learning how
to live life one day at a time substance
free for yrs down the road.
Knowing that I didn't have to go thru
recovery alone from day one all the
way to today was and still is comforting.
Support from others just like me who
had a chemical dependency and now
live with a recovery program foundation
that is strong and solid is a gift and
blessing that I will never take for granted.
How much do you want to be free
from the insanity of addiction is the
question to ask yourself and how far
will you go to get it?
early recovery and esp. after spending 28
day in rehab after a family intervention
took place.
While in rehab I learned how to go to
meetings, sit and listen with willingness,
openmindedness and some honesty so
when I was released I could carry on by
myself.
Sure it was scarry for me, but, I had to
ask myself, how bad do I want to remain
sober, and the answer was, more than
anything because I surely didn't want to
return to the insanity that came along
with my addiction to alcohol.
Going to meetings helped me learn
to not only not drink each day, but
all those Step, Big Book, open discussion,
Speaker meetings taught me how to
clear away the clutter from my life.
To help me learn about defects of character,
resentments I harbored over the yrs, selfishness,
self-centeredness, removing the mask I hide
behind for so long, manipulation, control,
lies, and a whole laundry list of things that
made me over the yrs.
Once I worked thru all that cr@p and
allowed the healing process to begin,
then I started to grow and mature into
the best, healthiest person I can possibly
become and am today.
Letting go all the baggage I collected
over the yrs had become too heavy for
me to continue to carry and deal with
and alcohol had become the poisonous
source I reached for to numb, stuff down
till I could no longer handle by myself.
I surrendered and was placed into
the hands of those to help me, guide
me thru the process of learning how
to live life one day at a time substance
free for yrs down the road.
Knowing that I didn't have to go thru
recovery alone from day one all the
way to today was and still is comforting.
Support from others just like me who
had a chemical dependency and now
live with a recovery program foundation
that is strong and solid is a gift and
blessing that I will never take for granted.
How much do you want to be free
from the insanity of addiction is the
question to ask yourself and how far
will you go to get it?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by khyzer35 
Hey everyone..its almost 5 am now.im awake and filled with anxiety after drinking all day yesterday...thats what i do though...drink alot then black out and wake up with an anxiety attack. So i want to go to meetings and get support to quit drinking but my mind wont let me...im shy and feel awkward and embarrassed even though i know people there are in the same boat as me...this is stopping me from going though...and i feel so alone i want people to help me but im to scared to go get it...
On my way to my first meeting I was going back and forth, fighting with myself whether I was going to go through with it. I even drove past the meeting place and I decided to just go back home but then something made me turn around and go back.
It is now over 4 months since my first meeting and I can't get enough of AA. I go to 5 or 6 meetings a week, I have 2 sponsors and have so many good supportive friends that I have met through the program. AA has changed my life for the good.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Yes, it's always difficult to walk into your first meeting. I finally managed it after talking to someone on the UK helpline, but I walked past a lot of meetings before getting in the door. Finally I realised that there was nevr going to be a day when this would be easy so I might as well just get on and do it. The procrastination and overthinking it really was much worse than the actual event, which was actually a massive relief. I did cry but that's not unusual. It's an emotional event, and plenty of people have done that.
Nowadays I am full of gratitude for what the fellowship of AA has given me, and love going to meetings so that I can be in a position to pass on my own experience strength and hope.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Nowadays I am full of gratitude for what the fellowship of AA has given me, and love going to meetings so that I can be in a position to pass on my own experience strength and hope.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I remember those 5 AM after drinking anxiety attacks very well....thankfully I have not had one in over a year, since I found the courage to go to a meeting.
They can be intimidating, but I went anyway. Something deep down inside of me was in fight or flight mode- at some level I knew if I didn't get to a meeting I would not stay sober. I didn't say much, and some kind women went out of their way to greet me and to feel welcome. And I was not in the worst shape there - another women sobbed quietly the whole time. Some women went and sat next to her and held her hand. She didn't say much either but I imagine it was harder for her than for me.
Now I'm over a year sober and so glad I just sucked it up and went- it's ok if you are scared sh&tless, but just go anyway. You will be glad you did.
They can be intimidating, but I went anyway. Something deep down inside of me was in fight or flight mode- at some level I knew if I didn't get to a meeting I would not stay sober. I didn't say much, and some kind women went out of their way to greet me and to feel welcome. And I was not in the worst shape there - another women sobbed quietly the whole time. Some women went and sat next to her and held her hand. She didn't say much either but I imagine it was harder for her than for me.
Now I'm over a year sober and so glad I just sucked it up and went- it's ok if you are scared sh&tless, but just go anyway. You will be glad you did.
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