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What a difference 192 days makes

Old 05-04-2017, 06:35 AM
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What a difference 192 days makes

The reason I am posting this is because I was thinking about how bad off I was 192 days ago. I was reminded of this because of a guy I met at AA this week who was less that 24 hours sober after being drunk 24/7 during a 9 month binge or relapse or whatever you want to call it. Seeing the condition he was in reminded me of the hell I was in 192 days ago. It was a good reminder of what I never want to experience again.

192 days ago I couldn't even watch a 30 minute TV show because my mind was all over the place. I couldn't sleep. I hardly ate. I was full of dread and I was hopeless. Every little issue was a catastrophe in my mind - even getting up out of a chair was a chore.

I thank God for guiding me to AA and giving me another chance at life before it was too late.

I have met so many people at AA that have liver and heart problems from alcohol abuse - even my sister-in-law is months away from dying due to a life of alcohol abuse.
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Old 05-04-2017, 07:42 AM
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4600+ hours of sobriety is awesome!
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Old 05-04-2017, 07:43 AM
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I'm glad things are going well for you. I happen to feel similar to you, I just never want to go back to the way I was. It was truly horrible and I had no one to blame but myself.
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Old 05-04-2017, 08:11 AM
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My first month or so of sobriety I was going to AA meetings and they were a powerful reality check, that is for sure.

I would listen to people who had a lot of sober time and they were so eloquent and their words just flowed out of their mouths. When it would be my turn to talk, I couldn't even put two thoughts together in a coherent way. If someone had told me before I got sober that my mental acuity was off I would have told them, "No it isn't," until I sat in those early meetings and tried to communicate even the simplest of ideas. It just wasn't happening.

You're right, those early days are terrifying and I use them and compare them to how I am now at three years. It's scary to think back.
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Old 05-04-2017, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post

I would listen to people who had a lot of sober time and they were so eloquent and their words just flowed out of their mouths. When it would be my turn to talk, I couldn't even put two thoughts together in a coherent way.
Even at over 6 months sober this still happens to me sometimes at discussion meetings - and I even bring paper and pen to try and write down my thoughts.

I always force myself to make a comment at every meeting because public speaking was always a great fear of mine - facing my fears is a way to make me stronger.

I also hope that I help others with my comments, no matter how incoherent they seem to me.
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Old 05-04-2017, 08:21 AM
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Sounds like things are going very well for you doug, and I'm glad you are approaching things with an open mind and keeping all your options on the table. Your participation here is very much welcomed too - we all learn from each other.
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Old 05-04-2017, 08:31 AM
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Doug, congrats on your sober time and thanks for the reminder.
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Old 05-04-2017, 09:47 AM
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Congrats on 192 days sober!
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Old 05-04-2017, 10:39 AM
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Old 05-04-2017, 11:13 AM
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Congrats Doug... I have a similar background (don't we all?) and am taking a similar path, albeit at a slower pace. I regularly attend meetings but have yet to really begin the steps in earnest... except for number one.

I'm simply at a loss for understanding the Higher Power concept, but I've heard the same from veterans that tell me to just keep coming and it will happen.
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Old 05-04-2017, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by puddlejumper70 View Post
am taking a similar path, albeit at a slower pace. I regularly attend meetings but have yet to really begin the steps in earnest... except for number one.

.
I have heard of people taking years to get through the Steps.

I have currently been stuck on Step 9 for a few months; I still have a few amends to make that I am having a hard time with.

I just happened to read something about Step 9 a few minutes ago -

You will know when Step 9 is essentially complete when you are not concerned with who you might encounter no matter where you go.
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Old 05-04-2017, 02:52 PM
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Thanks for sharing this assessment of your journey to sobriety.

It's uplifting to hear these stories of success.
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Old 05-04-2017, 03:02 PM
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Me and you have been sober about the same amount of time. It is truly amazing how different I feel. As I'm sure you know, not everyday is perfect and there are still a lot of obstacles to overcome. The great news is that now we can conquer those obstacles instead of avoiding them.

congrats Doug!
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Old 05-04-2017, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by puddlejumper70 View Post
Congrats Doug... I have a similar background (don't we all?) and am taking a similar path, albeit at a slower pace. I regularly attend meetings but have yet to really begin the steps in earnest... except for number one.

I'm simply at a loss for understanding the Higher Power concept, but I've heard the same from veterans that tell me to just keep coming and it will happen.
Actually you don't need to understand the Higher Power concept to take the steps, the understanding actually comes FROM taking the steps. All you need to take the steps is willingness and open mindedness. I'm telling you this as someone who avoided taking the steps for 23 years of being in and out of AA (and sobriety). I finally found the willingness and open mindedness to try them as a last resort and it has been a difference maker. By the time I reached step 10 I realized that I had been restored to sanity and step 2 came to fruition.

Way to go on 192 days Doug! Part of what I love about this site is getting to watch other members on their sober journey.
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Old 05-04-2017, 03:54 PM
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Congratulations Doug

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Old 05-04-2017, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Doug39 View Post
The reason I am posting this is because I was thinking about how bad off I was 192 days ago. I was reminded of this because of a guy I met at AA this week who was less that 24 hours sober after being drunk 24/7 during a 9 month binge or relapse or whatever you want to call it. Seeing the condition he was in reminded me of the hell I was in 192 days ago. It was a good reminder of what I never want to experience again.

192 days ago I couldn't even watch a 30 minute TV show because my mind was all over the place. I couldn't sleep. I hardly ate. I was full of dread and I was hopeless. Every little issue was a catastrophe in my mind - even getting up out of a chair was a chore.

I thank God for guiding me to AA and giving me another chance at life before it was too late.

I have met so many people at AA that have liver and heart problems from alcohol abuse - even my sister-in-law is months away from dying due to a life of alcohol abuse.
Great job, Doug!! You should copy your post into a word document and print it out and make a copy and put it in your wallet and post another copy in your closet!!! Never forget those early days of recovery!! Keep going to the new comer meetings.. don't ever become complacent and never rest on your laurels!! Great post!!!
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Old 05-04-2017, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Doug39 View Post
The reason I am posting this is because I was thinking about how bad off I was 192 days ago. I was reminded of this because of a guy I met at AA this week who was less that 24 hours sober after being drunk 24/7 during a 9 month binge or relapse or whatever you want to call it. Seeing the condition he was in reminded me of the hell I was in 192 days ago. It was a good reminder of what I never want to experience again.

192 days ago I couldn't even watch a 30 minute TV show because my mind was all over the place. I couldn't sleep. I hardly ate. I was full of dread and I was hopeless. Every little issue was a catastrophe in my mind - even getting up out of a chair was a chore.

I thank God for guiding me to AA and giving me another chance at life before it was too late.

I have met so many people at AA that have liver and heart problems from alcohol abuse - even my sister-in-law is months away from dying due to a life of alcohol abuse.
SO happy for you! And I could have written almost everything you shared. 438 days ago....well, let's say I got a window today into what I was like when I went to my first 12 step call to a woman desperately needing help. I am still processing the experience and even more grateful (doesn't seem nearly a sufficient word) to be where I am now. A miracle.

It will keep on getting stunningly better for you too. Proud of you!
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