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Starting all over

Old 04-07-2017, 12:05 PM
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Starting all over

I drank heavily from age 21-26. I drank at night till id fall asleep, not buzzed but drunk. This fall it for the worst. I was drinking about a fifth of vodka a night. Two months seems like a fog, trying to survive each hangover each day. After a bad three four month period I realized I had a problem after gaing 30 lbs. I made it one month of no drinking, then screwed it all up on Monday after being offered liquor and then binging. Days later a familiar feeling,I'm still light headed, anxious, jittery. How long will this last! The one thing I want to do to help myself get back on track is workout, I wanna lose weight and get out of my house where I used to drink. But when I get five minutes into a workout im flooded with anxiety (I think). Any advice from experience??
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Old 04-07-2017, 12:58 PM
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Hi there.

Sorry to hear about this. I had such a similar experience back in January.

I was off alcohol for full month and then suddenly decided "A heck what can go wrong, I'll treat myself"...

I'm still trying to stay off the stuff!

What helps me is yes... Getting out of the situation/room/house were you usually drink.

For me it's in my bedroom, with my door locked, secretively drinking.

I would play computer games and talk with my friends (And many times embarrassed myself..I think.. (Can't remember a lot of incidents)

My room, and this routine felt like a prison.

Today i went for a long cycle, studied in the library and when i returned home, the strong urge to drink was gone.

Not gonna lie it's always lingering but you have to put in the effort and just not do it.

For me, when i study and feel I'm progressing in an area i want to, i feel great.

I think exercise and the results of weight loss will help keep you busy and motivated.

Think of all the new nice clothes you can start wearing. Think of how good you will look and feel without the poison that is alcohol.

Good luck. I really hope you can have a fresh new start :-)
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Old 04-07-2017, 01:15 PM
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Welcome to SR Hulkamaniackd and congrats on your decision to get sober again. Regarding the symptoms, unfortunately withdrawals can get worse and worse over time, and it can take a long time for your body to heal. If you have medical concerns don't rule out seeing a doc. Anxiety is very common during withdrawals too, the best advice I can give for that is to take things slow and start small. Maybe just going for a walk before heading full on into the gym to work out might be a good start?
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Old 04-07-2017, 05:09 PM
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Welcome Hulkamaniacd - Good to have you join us

The best route to getting back to normal is time, and not drinking.

Almost everyone feels anxious and jittery for a while, but that should pass, unless you have a history of being that way.

D
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Old 04-07-2017, 05:13 PM
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Welcome to the family. I'm glad you joined us and I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
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Old 04-07-2017, 06:27 PM
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Thanks guys

Thanks for the replys guys. Figured I'd get more active on here after the slip up. Todays been the worst day so far. Chills laying in bed most of the day tired, head pressure, feeling anxious. I was just starting to do better anxiety symptoms wise when I foolishly took one drink, that turned into several
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Old 04-07-2017, 06:35 PM
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Welcome to SR Hulkamanickd!

Sorry to hear you had a slip...but, you've proven to yourself that you can remain sober for 30 days and that's fantastic! If you were able to stay sober 30 days, you can do it again...and keep going.

Like you, I struggle with anxiety...especially the first few days of sobriety. Exercise really helped me get through the withdrawal period. In addition to relieving the anxiety, it took away my jitters and feelings of anxiousness too. If working out at a gym gives you anxiety, try another form of exercise: power walking, running, swimming...any form of activity that you enjoy.

Glad you're here...hang in there and you'll feel better soon.
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Old 04-07-2017, 07:03 PM
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Thats whats sucking the most is that I cant get active without a headrush of light headedness. Then I have to stop. I don't feel physically tired or out of breath, I just get the faint unsteady feeling. I usually get a gatorade or some glucose tablets if I feel that during exercising, as I think its blood sugar related? But then the workouts done until I feel back to normal, it's frustrating but I'm hoping itll get better
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Old 04-07-2017, 08:26 PM
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Hulk,

It gets worse and worse the longer you drink.

The light headedness, weakness, lack of stamina, anxiety, paranoia, PTSD, and basically craziness etc etc.

The drinking masks it....drinking causes it.

This last and final time clean for me...... all of the above lasted..w ever decreasing severity for over 1 year.

I am nearly 2 years sober and it is a whole new world. Booze, the way we drink it for sure, is poison.

It eventually will cause irreparable physical and mental damage if we don't quit.

I am positive I have done both to myself by now (drinking hard for the last 15 or so years, and drinking fairly hard for about 10 before that).

I am learning to live sober, learning my limitations.

I am a different person clean. I used to be angered very easily.

I haven't had the anger spill out of me since i quit, except maybe once or twice w my wife and son...they push my buttons sometimes.

This is the real me now. The sober me.

That is all I have for now.

Thanks.
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Old 04-07-2017, 09:54 PM
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Thanks for the reply D. Congrats on your progress! I like what you said about learning limitations. I got triggered after getting offered twice by a family member about a glass of wine. I thought ill stop at one. Next thing Im a fifth of vodka in, its the middle of the night. Seriously buzzed but aware I screwed up. I'm finally realizing I cant have just one. Has my screwup undone my progress from the last month as far as withdrawal symptoms?
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Old 04-08-2017, 03:28 AM
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Hulk,

In my experience...the relapse reprimes the brain w booze.

It obviously undoes some, but not all progress. Wanting to quit is huge.

The bottom line is...booze is deadly. It destroys lives. It is absolutely not to be taken lightly. The addiction alters perception.

We addicts will belive whatever it takes to get our fix. Each relapse causes a slow, gradual, descending death spiral. Folks relapse over and over. Their body and brains get fried.

Imo...the reason I appreciate my sobriety so much is because I suffered harder than anything I've ever experienced in my life in the early months of sobriety.

I quit once for 8 months when I was in my late 20.s. It was so easy, I figured I could start again. I could handle it.

Wrong.

Each relapse recovery gets worse. Eventually, we go insane. The drunk crazy doesn't wear off.

Who needs that.

If you can't stop on your own, you need to get help from a Dr.

This booze thing is absolutely not to be toyed w.
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Old 04-08-2017, 07:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Hulkamaniackd View Post
Thats whats sucking the most is that I cant get active without a headrush of light headedness. Then I have to stop. I don't feel physically tired or out of breath, I just get the faint unsteady feeling. I usually get a gatorade or some glucose tablets if I feel that during exercising, as I think its blood sugar related? But then the workouts done until I feel back to normal, it's frustrating but I'm hoping itll get better
You probably need to allow your body to fully recover before jumping into any strenuous activity.
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Old 04-08-2017, 11:42 AM
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Puddlejumper,

I think your right I need to focus on one area at a time.
D,
Your words are encouraging. I'm glad all the work I had done is not down the drain.

If im not mistaken the worst days are the first five after stopping? So atleast im on the tail end of things. Today I tried to do something about my anxiety. I'm not in a position income or insurance wise so I went to a walk in urgent care. I was very anxious while in there, but I found blood pressure was good. Unfortunately they wouldnt prescribe anything for anxiety and said go to ER. I don't quite have the money for an ER visit, so I stocked up on B vitamin complex and some st johns wort. Kind of uncomfortable today, but I can stay in bed. Thanks all for the comments
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Old 04-08-2017, 03:15 PM
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I hope you'll start to feel better soon.
D
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